Joe R. Lansdale quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Joe R. Lansdale

Joe R. Lansdale Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Joe R. Lansdale on Wise Famous Quotes.

I thanked him and he asked me if my cape got caught on stuff when I was running and jumping, and I said, Sometimes.

Sometimes he felt as if he had stepped into an alternate universe where the old laws of nature and what was right and wrong did not apply.

Over-confidence is the way to give your soul to the devil an inch at a time.

It was the kind of talk that made me want to break off a limb and take to whacking her and that bunch of hypocrites across the back of the head.

It's one thing to wave at the Devil from afar, quite another to shake the bastard's hand.

That's love for you. When it's good, it's magic. When it isn't, it just pees all in your soup.

Everything is humorous," said Shorty, "except your own death. But other people will laugh.

Hallowed be thy name, oh Lord
and shotgun do your stuff

You need to read some Agatha Christie, man.
Why? Am I being punished?

I get the whole lost-your-parents thing. Been there. But that don't have to turn you stupid. That's a choice, like wearing green stretch pants.

All us humans are fouled on both ends. One we shit out of, and the other we talk shit out of.

Skittles: the fun,colorful candy to eat, but even funner to throw at old people.
=]
(yes I know funner isn't a word)

I'm so bored I could sing to my dick.

Aren't you embarrassed undressing in front of a queer?" Leonard said. "All you know, I might be sizing up your butthole."
"Just call me a tease.

But killing a man ought to mean something, even if you have to do it.

A day without the sun is like you know, night

Some things you do, not because they're pleasant, but because they have to be done.

Don't try to skin your rabbit and keep it as a pet too.

If this saying did not exist, somebody would have invented it.

I got something to say to you, big shot."
"Say it, then," I said, "while I'm used to the drone of your voice. I'd rather not get acclimated again.

There's no one more obnoxious and self-righteous than the self-made man. And no one more admirable.

I trust the sun to rise and the sun to set, though I know one day it will do these things without me.

Deep down I think I may be just like everyone else. And do you know what, Harry?"
"No sir."
"That bothers me.

Only our memories allow that some people ever existed. That they mattered, or mattered too much.

Size and strength didn't intimidate Herman. As he told me later, no matter how big they grow, balls and eyes stay soft and a tire tool has no friends.

God is an idea, the devil is us.

The logic of a madman is a sane man's confusion.

In polite society what you say to an attractive woman who is dressed in a way that makes you understand the power of biology is, "You look nice.

the Texas stars shining down like rattlesnake eyes showing in a deep, dark wood.