Jerry Lawler quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Jerry Lawler

Jerry Lawler Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Jerry Lawler on Wise Famous Quotes.

If Mark Henry was the Titanic, the iceberg would've sank!

When I'm in bed with a woman, my favorite move is a wrestling hold called the lip lock.

Michael Cole, what did you get for Christmas? Except drunk.

It's not often that you see a smile on the face of the Viper, but it actually looks good on there.

There's one thing that comes into mind when I see Trish Stratus ... MANAGEMENT

Paul Bearer has more chins than a Chinese phone book!

What the Hell. In 1988, I was the AWA heavyweight champion and I never came to Milwaukee.

Andy Kaufman's mom wanted a girl, his father wanted a boy, and they were both satisfied!

When David killed Goliath, Mae Young called the cops.

As a baby, Bret Hart was so ugly that they had to put tinted windows on his incubator!

I'm not a racist like Bret Hart, I hate everyone equally!

What do Jake 'The Snake' Roberts and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up!

Koko B. Ware is a crossword wrestler: he enters the ring vertically, and leaves horizontally.

I've been here for nine years, and over that time, these people have become like my family.

I'm an artist and I can draw very well. I'm amazed that everybody can't draw well because I can do it so effortlessly.

A little sex on TV never hurt anyone ... unless you fall off!

Get that strait jacket that Heidenreich had and put it on Lita!

Being a 3-time Intercontinental champion doesn't make you a great wrestler, just like Larry King having 9 wives don't make him a great husband.

J.R.'s got moves like Jagger!

Helen Hart is the only person I know with an autographed copy of the Bible.

When God said 'Let there be light', Mae Young threw the switch.

The only thing harder than Terry Funk's legs are his arteries.

Jake Robert's wife is real ugly, but according to him that's nothing a six pack and a light switch can't fix.

Is he dancing or having a seizure?

Jake 'The Snake's' two best friends are Jim Beam & Jack Daniels.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

Women! Can't live with 'em, no resale value.

ECW stands for Extremely Crappy Wrestling.

Can I press one for English?

Look at the attention the Godfather's getting! Kick my leg, J.R.; kick me in the leg!

Her, Me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?

Jake [Roberts] is feeling a little under the weather. He has bar-thritis. That's when because stiffin' a different joint every night.

The Dudleys are going to get the VIP treatment this Sunday
Very Intense Pain!

As they say, anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation.

Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I meet the women of my dreams.

If the Japanese are so smart, why do they eat with sticks?

You know how I impress girls at the gym? I do pull ups: I pull up in a Corvette, in a Cadillac, and in a Mercedes.

When most people get drunk, they see snakes. But, when snakes get drunk, they see Jake Roberts!

What's twelve inches long and hangs in front on ass, Mankind's tie.

Hey Mark Henry, where are your gold medals? We all know that if Mark Henry won a gold medal he'd just take it and have it bronzed.

Paul Bearer is so fat, he has his own gravitational pull!

Jim Ross you're a fine one to talk about how someone is dressed.

The only reason Jake 'The Snake' Roberts doesn't drink and drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink.

If at first you don't succeed, see if there is a prize for the losers.

Dustin Runnels came up to me and asked me if I made my peace with God today. I don't know if I ever had a fight with him.

The fats dented the flats.

You know what they call a good looking girl in Philadelphia ... a tourist.

This man can make a horror movie without makeup.

Crash Holly's so short, you can see his feet on his driver's licence photo.

It used to be that Shamrock was the world's most dangerous man, but now Shamrock is the world's most dangerous speedbump.

The only reason I lost to Aldo Montoya was the intoxicating fumes there were coming off his body from being around Jake Roberts.

Sunny didn't make a fool out of Phineas, God beat her to that.

Foley looks like an un-made bed.

Mark Henry is so strong he eats steak with a spoon.

One man's trash is another man's girlfriend.

Go back to your bingo hall.

When it comes to Shawn Michaels, there's always a way.

You never really know a woman till you meet her in court.

Panties aren't the greatest thing in the world, but they're next to them.

I'm not embarrassed to be seen with younger women, except when I drop them off at school.

You lost weight? Look around, you'll find it.

You know, Alundra Blayze, with her looks could star in TV westerns ... if she had two more legs.

Cena with the WWE Title, Randy Orton with the Money In The Bank briefcase, & Daniel Bryan with the beard.

Helen Hart is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was sick.

Cheating is only cheating when you get caught.

There is an old adage: love thy neighbor, but don't get caught.

Are you ready for some puppies?!

You know what they say in Arkansas ... manure happens.

Dolph Ziggler reminds me of Santa; everywhere he goes he brings an old bag with him.

I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper.

I asked Sunny if she would ever consider dating you. She said she would rather give birth to a porcupine on fire.

I'd like to retain Trish Stratus's services.

Speaking of birthday suits, I think Mae Young's needs ironing!

If charisma were rain, Blackman would be a desert.

When you were born and your mom saw your face and your rear end, she said "Oh! Siamesse Twins!"