Jen Lancaster quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Jen Lancaster on Wise Famous Quotes.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I don't want to limit myself as a writer. Tastes change, and I want to keep my eye on the future.

I don't want to limit myself as a writer. Tastes change, and I want to keep my eye on the future.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I believe that I have such a vanilla life.

I believe that I have such a vanilla life.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I guess my most prized pop culture possession is a signed first edition of the book 'Fight Club' by Chuck Palahniuk.

I guess my most prized pop culture possession is a signed first edition of the book 'Fight Club' by Chuck Palahniuk.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I tried, it was hard, I quit, the end. Story of my life.

I tried, it was hard, I quit, the end. Story of my life.

Jen Lancaster quotes: In real life, I tend to yell at people a lot. Not because I'm bossy or mean, but because I'm frustrated.

In real life, I tend to yell at people a lot. Not because I'm bossy or mean, but because I'm frustrated.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Unless 'Wii Fit' stops acting like a mean girl, it's over between us forever.

Unless 'Wii Fit' stops acting like a mean girl, it's over between us forever.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Beauty pageants, you're only judged once. Sorority rush, you have to go through 20 parties.

Beauty pageants, you're only judged once. Sorority rush, you have to go through 20 parties.

Jen Lancaster quotes: When you think about a drill sergeant, a drill sergeant expects you to perform your best, and if you don't, they're going to stay on you until you do.

When you think about a drill sergeant, a drill sergeant expects you to perform your best, and if you don't, they're going to stay on you until you do.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I'm not one of those folks who have to face death to live life. I

I'm not one of those folks who have to face death to live life. I

Jen Lancaster quotes: Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper.

Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Some people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people.

Some people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Humor's an excellent way to make a point more palatable and/or relatable.

Humor's an excellent way to make a point more palatable and/or relatable.

Jen Lancaster quotes: We all know exactly what we love, and woe is you if you're on the other side.

We all know exactly what we love, and woe is you if you're on the other side.

Jen Lancaster quotes: This way, when I do have something like special-occasion engagement cake, I can enjoy the whole damn thing without a twinge of remorse. I

This way, when I do have something like special-occasion engagement cake, I can enjoy the whole damn thing without a twinge of remorse. I

Jen Lancaster quotes: I'm doing a lot more handmade gifts. When I go to a party, I cook whatever it is I need to bring instead of just grabbing a bottle of wine.

I'm doing a lot more handmade gifts. When I go to a party, I cook whatever it is I need to bring instead of just grabbing a bottle of wine.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Expressing political opinion can be a powerful way to establish a character's voice when writing fiction.

Expressing political opinion can be a powerful way to establish a character's voice when writing fiction.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Photo developers everywhere are likely the reason my entire generation didn't devolve into total chaos.

Photo developers everywhere are likely the reason my entire generation didn't devolve into total chaos.

Jen Lancaster quotes: You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a surprise pap smear.

You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a surprise pap smear.

Jen Lancaster quotes: If I had kids, I'd probably be way over-protective, researching everything they begged to see to make sure the content was appropriate.

If I had kids, I'd probably be way over-protective, researching everything they begged to see to make sure the content was appropriate.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Forgive the cliche, but friends are truly the family you choose.

Forgive the cliche, but friends are truly the family you choose.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Milk, powdered heavy cream, and powdered butter." "Didn't know a lot of these products existed,

Milk, powdered heavy cream, and powdered butter." "Didn't know a lot of these products existed,

Jen Lancaster quotes: I've always been able to cook Italian food. That's in my blood because I'm half Sicilian.

I've always been able to cook Italian food. That's in my blood because I'm half Sicilian.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Now with social media, people essentially come into my living room, my virtual living room, and tell me everything that is wrong with me.

Now with social media, people essentially come into my living room, my virtual living room, and tell me everything that is wrong with me.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Ultimately, my goal in life is to arrive at the finish line without having regrets.

Ultimately, my goal in life is to arrive at the finish line without having regrets.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Writing is something that I've always loved. That stems from my love of being a reader.

Writing is something that I've always loved. That stems from my love of being a reader.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Although they're doing manual labor, they're both wearing tailored slacks and dressy leather shoes, which

Although they're doing manual labor, they're both wearing tailored slacks and dressy leather shoes, which

Jen Lancaster quotes: I'm the person who says every single thing she thinks, sometimes to others' amusement, and almost always to my detriment.

I'm the person who says every single thing she thinks, sometimes to others' amusement, and almost always to my detriment.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I can't believe anyone would voluntarily run 26 miles. Sometimes I sit on the couch cross-legged because I don't feel like walking to the bathroom.

I can't believe anyone would voluntarily run 26 miles. Sometimes I sit on the couch cross-legged because I don't feel like walking to the bathroom.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Dessert is my reward for having met my goals during the day. Really, dessert is an event rather than a specific item.

Dessert is my reward for having met my goals during the day. Really, dessert is an event rather than a specific item.

Jen Lancaster quotes: No matter how happy anyone is with their choices, I believe it's human nature to wonder about the path not taken.

No matter how happy anyone is with their choices, I believe it's human nature to wonder about the path not taken.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Hell hath no fury like a middle-aged woman in a fuzzy pink robe, hopped up on a winning combination of allergy medicine, Alias reruns, and anger.

Hell hath no fury like a middle-aged woman in a fuzzy pink robe, hopped up on a winning combination of allergy medicine, Alias reruns, and anger.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I am going to embarrass myself. I have accepted that fact, and that's just how it's going to be.

I am going to embarrass myself. I have accepted that fact, and that's just how it's going to be.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I married a man who isn't afraid to wash a dish, scrub a toilet, or have his unibrow waxed into submission by a licensed professional.

I married a man who isn't afraid to wash a dish, scrub a toilet, or have his unibrow waxed into submission by a licensed professional.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Just as I got older, I think I've become more and more conservative.

Just as I got older, I think I've become more and more conservative.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there.

I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there.

Jen Lancaster quotes: When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations?

When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations?

Jen Lancaster quotes: No one gives out Congratulations on Not Being a Douche-Canoe medals, because good behavior is part of the social contract.

No one gives out Congratulations on Not Being a Douche-Canoe medals, because good behavior is part of the social contract.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I'm very detail oriented. I think that's why people enjoy my memoirs - because I tend to remember everything.

I'm very detail oriented. I think that's why people enjoy my memoirs - because I tend to remember everything.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Asking me to choose between a traditional book and a Kindle is like asking me which of my dogs I love most.

Asking me to choose between a traditional book and a Kindle is like asking me which of my dogs I love most.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I began writing fiction when I started running out of material in my own life.

I began writing fiction when I started running out of material in my own life.

Jen Lancaster quotes: No one wants to friend or follow covert info about Pakistan's nuclear policy.

No one wants to friend or follow covert info about Pakistan's nuclear policy.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Everyone who reads me is someone I'd like to hang out with.

Everyone who reads me is someone I'd like to hang out with.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Like it. And, hey, why do I have so much sand in my crotch? Okay,

Like it. And, hey, why do I have so much sand in my crotch? Okay,

Jen Lancaster quotes: I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out in New Year's Eve.

I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out in New Year's Eve.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I don't mean to get all religious here, but I'm pretty sure key lime martinis (with a graham cracker & sugar rim) are proof that Jesus loves us.

I don't mean to get all religious here, but I'm pretty sure key lime martinis (with a graham cracker & sugar rim) are proof that Jesus loves us.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I'm such a fangirl when it comes to other writers. I read 250 books a year, and I'm always talking up books by other authors.

I'm such a fangirl when it comes to other writers. I read 250 books a year, and I'm always talking up books by other authors.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Kiss the fattest part of my ass

Kiss the fattest part of my ass

Jen Lancaster quotes: Plaid is always cute and always will be. But only on the bottom. At the top, it makes you look like a farmer.

Plaid is always cute and always will be. But only on the bottom. At the top, it makes you look like a farmer.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Life is unfair and there are winners and losers, regardless of how much overprotective parents attempt to shield their offspring from reality.

Life is unfair and there are winners and losers, regardless of how much overprotective parents attempt to shield their offspring from reality.

Jen Lancaster quotes: You think you're so cool just because you can walk!

You think you're so cool just because you can walk!

Jen Lancaster quotes: I learned to speak Italian, somewhat. Definitely enough to get around in Italy. My grandfather always used to swear at my grandmother in Italian.

I learned to speak Italian, somewhat. Definitely enough to get around in Italy. My grandfather always used to swear at my grandmother in Italian.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Yeah, I'm over forty, flighty, and fluffy- I'd say I'm not ideal bouncer material.

Yeah, I'm over forty, flighty, and fluffy- I'd say I'm not ideal bouncer material.

Jen Lancaster quotes: You can't all of a sudden go to sleep one night and wake up Martha Stewart. It's bit by bit by bit.

You can't all of a sudden go to sleep one night and wake up Martha Stewart. It's bit by bit by bit.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I didn't want to turn into Martha Stewart. I wanted to turn into a more organized, more gracious me. And that truly has happened.

I didn't want to turn into Martha Stewart. I wanted to turn into a more organized, more gracious me. And that truly has happened.

Jen Lancaster quotes: At my age, I feel like I'm halfway to the finish line and life's too short to do what I'm sure to hate.

At my age, I feel like I'm halfway to the finish line and life's too short to do what I'm sure to hate.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.

Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack.

Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I'm not lazy. I'm simply judicious about excess movement.

I'm not lazy. I'm simply judicious about excess movement.

Jen Lancaster quotes: In other words? The bitch had it coming. And I am that bitch.

In other words? The bitch had it coming.
And I am that bitch.

Jen Lancaster quotes: In terms of being smart, Libby is very, very pretty.

In terms of being smart, Libby is very, very pretty.

Jen Lancaster quotes: When it comes to matters of pro sports, politics or palate, disparate sides claim their party, team and cola to be superior.

When it comes to matters of pro sports, politics or palate, disparate sides claim their party, team and cola to be superior.

Jen Lancaster quotes: The iPad's all about proprietary apps that are supposed to be amazing on the bigger screen.

The iPad's all about proprietary apps that are supposed to be amazing on the bigger screen.

Jen Lancaster quotes: You want to change? Lose the bitch. Be nicer to people. Stop telling them to "bite you" and threatening to kick them until they're dead.

You want to change? Lose the bitch. Be nicer to people. Stop telling them to "bite you" and threatening to kick them until they're dead.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I think people tend to be very myopic and they don't understand how their actions impact others.

I think people tend to be very myopic and they don't understand how their actions impact others.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be ... herpes.

Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be ... herpes.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I never sleep on the plane. I have to be awake and using my mind power to keep it in the air

I never sleep on the plane. I have to be awake and using my mind power to keep it in the air

Jen Lancaster quotes: I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light.

I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light.

Jen Lancaster quotes: But there's always a chance she's hiding a flask and a Nixon-esque Enemies List in her pinafore apron, which is exactly why we're such good friends.

But there's always a chance she's hiding a flask and a Nixon-esque Enemies List in her pinafore apron, which is exactly why we're such good friends.

Jen Lancaster quotes: I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA.

I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA.

Jen Lancaster quotes: Point? Maybe you aren't a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda.Maybe you're just you.

Point? Maybe you aren't a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda.
Maybe you're just you.

Jen Lancaster quotes: No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning ...

No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning ...