Jeff Dunham Quotes
Top 37 wise famous quotes and sayings by Jeff Dunham
Jeff Dunham Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Jeff Dunham on Wise Famous Quotes.
My goal in any show is to make people laugh. That's the No. 1 thing. Everything else pales in comparison to that.
I'm not trying to teach anybody anything, I'm not trying to say anything, I have no political motive whatsoever. My motive is just the big laugh.
A lot of my best stuff is just ad libs on stage, and that's one thing that I've gotten back to at the live show.
I'm a pretty good ventriloquist, but it's the entertainment value and the laughs that keep people sitting there and wanting more.
I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'
Walter: Do you see this lovely young lady sitting right here in the front row? Do you see her? Do you see her?
Jeff: Yeah.
Walter: Oh well!
Jeff: Yeah.
Walter: Oh well!
Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it.
Family time was very difficult when my girls were little, but I never missed a birthday; I was there for every major event.
I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.
When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.
Most people when they have autobiographies, they're not autobiographies, they're biographies written by a ghost writer.
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Knock, knock.
Jeff Dunham: Who's there?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you!
Jeff Dunham: Who's there?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you!
There are not that many ventriloquists out there who build their own characters. I love that because they are uniquely mine.
Achmed: Two Jews walk into a bar...
Jeff: No no no no no
Achmed: You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard.
Jeff: No no no no no
Achmed: You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard.
I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.
The kids who come backstage that have cancer or whatever, make them laugh and smile for a little while, what's the problem with that? There isn't any.