Greg Giraldo quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Greg Giraldo

Greg Giraldo Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Greg Giraldo on Wise Famous Quotes.

Greg Giraldo quotes: If I drive my SUV I'm supporting terrorism. Okay, I'll take a taxi, Is that better?

If I drive my SUV I'm supporting terrorism. Okay, I'll take a taxi, Is that better?

Greg Giraldo quotes: The reality is I'm not this person with this driving 'get it done' attitude.

The reality is I'm not this person with this driving 'get it done' attitude.

Greg Giraldo quotes: There hasn't been a more effeminate Jew in the closet since Anne Frank.

There hasn't been a more effeminate Jew in the closet since Anne Frank.

Greg Giraldo quotes: The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

Greg Giraldo quotes: If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster I would make of anyone's legal issues.

If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster I would make of anyone's legal issues.

Greg Giraldo quotes: It's something like 70% of American adults are obese, and the rest of them are women on Ally McBeal.

It's something like 70% of American adults are obese, and the rest of them are women on Ally McBeal.

Greg Giraldo quotes: My advice to graduates is to stay positive. Life is short, and you'll be dead soon.

My advice to graduates is to stay positive. Life is short, and you'll be dead soon.

Greg Giraldo quotes: We need more money for schools. We need more money for the kids. Ever think maybe the damn kids aren't worth it?

We need more money for schools. We need more money for the kids. Ever think maybe the damn kids aren't worth it?

Greg Giraldo quotes: Why do we need another station where everyone has a gun? We already have BET.

Why do we need another station where everyone has a gun? We already have BET.

Greg Giraldo quotes: We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.

We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.

Greg Giraldo quotes: Joke stealing is a big deal to me, but I mean, I'm not going to investigate it if it doesn't effect me directly.

Joke stealing is a big deal to me, but I mean, I'm not going to investigate it if it doesn't effect me directly.

Greg Giraldo quotes: In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story

In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story

Greg Giraldo quotes: "You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress."

"You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress."

Greg Giraldo quotes: Ice-T is so old that the first thing he bought with the money from his album sales was his freedom.

Ice-T is so old that the first thing he bought with the money from his album sales was his freedom.

Greg Giraldo quotes: If being a gangster were a prerequisite to being a musician, there'd be a lot less cello music, for example.

If being a gangster were a prerequisite to being a musician, there'd be a lot less cello music, for example.

Greg Giraldo quotes: I've always had real trouble knowing what my actual desires and goals are. I've just been dragged along by fate.

I've always had real trouble knowing what my actual desires and goals are. I've just been dragged along by fate.

Greg Giraldo quotes: If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

Greg Giraldo quotes: How many of you text message? It's a great way of not communicating.

How many of you text message? It's a great way of not communicating.

Greg Giraldo quotes: I like when people give up chocolate for Lent. Ooh, just like being nailed to a cross.

I like when people give up chocolate for Lent. Ooh, just like being nailed to a cross.

Greg Giraldo quotes: Edible underwear? ... even during sex, we can't stop eating.

Edible underwear? ... even during sex, we can't stop eating.

Greg Giraldo quotes: All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake's career.

All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake's career.

Greg Giraldo quotes: Do you know how short you have to be to have a Napoleon complex in North Korea?

Do you know how short you have to be to have a Napoleon complex in North Korea?

Greg Giraldo quotes: The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny.

The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny.

Greg Giraldo quotes: It's hard to distinguish when I was actually struggling from when I only felt like I was struggling - which was pretty much always.

It's hard to distinguish when I was actually struggling from when I only felt like I was struggling - which was pretty much always.

Greg Giraldo quotes: The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.

The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.

Greg Giraldo quotes: Americans are not gonna conserve. We're not gonna shift to smaller cars. We can't - we have big, fat kids.

Americans are not gonna conserve. We're not gonna shift to smaller cars. We can't - we have big, fat kids.

Greg Giraldo quotes: Look at the insane things the Jews believe. The Jews believe that Barbra Streisand is worth $1,000 bucks a ticket.

Look at the insane things the Jews believe. The Jews believe that Barbra Streisand is worth $1,000 bucks a ticket.

Greg Giraldo quotes: Even before the kids are born, you've go to make these decisions. If it's a boy, do we get him circumcised? If it's a girl, do we keep her?

Even before the kids are born, you've go to make these decisions. If it's a boy, do we get him circumcised? If it's a girl, do we keep her?

Greg Giraldo quotes: People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.

People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.

Greg Giraldo quotes: There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad.

There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad.

Greg Giraldo quotes: There are no black people in Iraq, so how will they know who to shoot at?

There are no black people in Iraq, so how will they know who to shoot at?

Greg Giraldo quotes: People always want to compare their dogs to having kids. That's insulting. First of all, nobody has a dog because they were too drunk to pull out.

People always want to compare their dogs to having kids. That's insulting. First of all, nobody has a dog because they were too drunk to pull out.