George Burns Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by George Burns

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George Burns Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from George Burns on Wise Famous Quotes.

George Burns quotes: I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do. I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do.
George Burns quotes: Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle. Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
George Burns quotes: My best advice: Fall in love with what you do for a living. My best advice: Fall in love with what you do for a living.
George Burns quotes: I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.
George Burns quotes: This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
George Burns quotes: There has been foolish talk about audiences having an average twelve-year-old mind: it just isn't true. They are older than anybody, and wiser. There has been foolish talk about audiences having an average twelve-year-old mind: it just isn't true. They are older than anybody, and wiser.
George Burns quotes: I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success. I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns quotes: It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns quotes: I worried about playing God (in the movie Oh God). We're about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods. I worried about playing God (in the movie Oh God). We're about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods.
George Burns quotes: Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up. Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
George Burns quotes: There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children. There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns quotes: Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere. Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns quotes: In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy. In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns quotes: Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns quotes: I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
George Burns quotes: Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it. Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns quotes: A married couple that plays cards together is just a fight that hasn't started yet. A married couple that plays cards together is just a fight that hasn't started yet.
George Burns quotes: I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns quotes: I'd rather be a failure in something that I love than a success in something that I hate. I'd rather be a failure in something that I love than a success in something that I hate.
George Burns quotes: Be quick to learn and wise to know. Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns quotes: Young. Old. Just Words. Young. Old. Just Words.
George Burns quotes: If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer. If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.
George Burns quotes: There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up. There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns quotes: There's nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed. There's nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.
George Burns quotes: I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns quotes: Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years. Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years.
George Burns quotes: Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns quotes: I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands. I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns quotes: Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles. Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles.
George Burns quotes: I smoke cigars because at my age if I don't have something to hang on to I might fall down. I smoke cigars because at my age if I don't have something to hang on to I might fall down.
George Burns quotes: When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights. When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns quotes: I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini. I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns quotes: When we played the back end of a horse we always knew that if we worked hard and did a good job we could become the front end. When we played the back end of a horse we always knew that if we worked hard and did a good job we could become the front end.
George Burns quotes: There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men. There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.
George Burns quotes: Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was. Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was.
George Burns quotes: I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old. I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old.
George Burns quotes: I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else ... I never lied better. I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else ... I never lied better.
George Burns quotes: If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral. If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral.
George Burns quotes: I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast. I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.
George Burns quotes: You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there. You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns quotes: Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang. Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns quotes: She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting. She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns quotes: I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns quotes: A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night. A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns quotes: And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.' And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns quotes: I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
George Burns quotes: If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it. If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.
George Burns quotes: Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do. Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
George Burns quotes: Life's but a day at most. Life's but a day at most.
George Burns quotes: Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
George Burns quotes: At my age flowers scare me. At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns quotes: When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns quotes: Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist. Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns quotes: Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George Burns quotes: I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate. I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate.
George Burns quotes: When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key. When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns quotes: I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem. I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns quotes: There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone. There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns quotes: I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns quotes: I get a standing ovation just standing I get a standing ovation just standing
George Burns quotes: Say Goodnight Gracie. Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns quotes: The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
George Burns quotes: Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size. Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns quotes: What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen. What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns quotes: I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up. I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up.
George Burns quotes: It's one of the old show business axioms. No matter how successful you've been, there's always a younger and sexier seal coming along. It's one of the old show business axioms. No matter how successful you've been, there's always a younger and sexier seal coming along.
George Burns quotes: This is all so exciting I've decided to keep making one movie every 36 years. This is all so exciting I've decided to keep making one movie every 36 years.
George Burns quotes: With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink. With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns quotes: When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.' When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns quotes: No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
George Burns quotes: How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything. How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns quotes: Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns quotes: If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it. If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.
George Burns quotes: I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns quotes: If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again. If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns quotes: If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it. If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns quotes: Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch! Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns quotes: Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns quotes: How can I die? I'm booked. How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns quotes: Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there. Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns quotes: Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
George Burns quotes: Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives. Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns quotes: I should have been a country-western singer. After all, I'm older than most western countries. I should have been a country-western singer. After all, I'm older than most western countries.
George Burns quotes: Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too. Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns quotes: Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town. Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns quotes: Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.
George Burns quotes: From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train. From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.
George Burns quotes: Sex is the Universal Language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to. Sex is the Universal Language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to.
George Burns quotes: When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns quotes: I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns quotes: None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns quotes: I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like. I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns quotes: Everyday happiness means you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot. Everyday happiness means you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.
George Burns quotes: I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
George Burns quotes: You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns quotes: I'd rather be over the hill than under it. I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns quotes: People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
George Burns quotes: It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere. It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns quotes: If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
George Burns quotes: Yale men do not like to be told anything by people who didn't go to Yale. The closest I came to Yale was once I had one of their padlocks. Yale men do not like to be told anything by people who didn't go to Yale. The closest I came to Yale was once I had one of their padlocks.

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