Fred Allen Quotes
Top 84 wise famous quotes and sayings by Fred Allen
Fred Allen Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Fred Allen on Wise Famous Quotes.
An actor's success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
Three million frogs' legs are served in Paris - daily. Nobody knows what became of the rest of the frogs.
All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.
The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.
The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.
Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.
Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
Televisio is a vehicle that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
It was once rumored that fledgling executives walked around their offices backwards so they wouldn't have to face an issue.
I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.
The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
On ships they call them barnacles; in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to be well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.