Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Fran Lebowitz
Fran Lebowitz Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Fran Lebowitz on Wise Famous Quotes.
Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.
The girl in your class who suggests that this year the Drama Club put on The Bald Soprano will be a thorn in people's sides all of her life.
In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
Chocolate is an excellent flavor for ice cream but both unreasonable and disconcerting in chewing gum.
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
If I lived in another country, like a country that was, say, an enemy of the United States, I would be more amused than I am.
I don't like the kind of country living where you have to help. I like country living where there is help.
If you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room.
One [New York] eatery is a remodeled diner that looks like what Busby Berkeley would have done if only he hadn't had the money.
Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years; we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.
Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life than a pornographer.
The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture.
In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
I am not ... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.
I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.
Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.
I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.
I've never seen the Kardashians; I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.
A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.
Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people.
To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life.
Commercials and sometimes other guests - it's the down side of TV. Other people - it's the downside of life in general.
Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.
American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means.
Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
Do not have your child's hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far too short to be exposed to contempt.
The 3 questions of greatest concern are:, 1) Is it attractive?, 2) Is it amusing?, 3) Does it know its place?
China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.
I am not the type of person who wants to go back to the land I am the type who wants to got back to the hotel.
Things that people will say to me, mostly, is that you shouldn't have all these books. It's too expensive.
I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive.
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.