Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Fran Lebowitz

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Fran Lebowitz Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Fran Lebowitz on Wise Famous Quotes.

Fran Lebowitz quotes: Humility is no substitute for a good personality. Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit. Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: People always say "pop culture." As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from. People always say "pop culture." As if we have some high culture to distinguish it from.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: polite conversation is rarely either polite conversation is rarely either
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines. I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail. If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: The girl in your class who suggests that this year the Drama Club put on The Bald Soprano will be a thorn in people's sides all of her life. The girl in your class who suggests that this year the Drama Club put on The Bald Soprano will be a thorn in people's sides all of her life.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world. In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I am alternately very gregarious - very sociable - and then very solitary. I am alternately very gregarious - very sociable - and then very solitary.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Chocolate is an excellent flavor for ice cream but both unreasonable and disconcerting in chewing gum. Chocolate is an excellent flavor for ice cream but both unreasonable and disconcerting in chewing gum.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York. The great thing about New Jersey is that it's close to New York.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add. Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: If I lived in another country, like a country that was, say, an enemy of the United States, I would be more amused than I am. If I lived in another country, like a country that was, say, an enemy of the United States, I would be more amused than I am.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I don't like the kind of country living where you have to help. I like country living where there is help. I don't like the kind of country living where you have to help. I like country living where there is help.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment it's a second opinion. Telling someone he looks healthy isn't a compliment
it's a second opinion.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: London: A place you go to get bronchitis. London: A place you go to get bronchitis.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Those who use the word 'lifestyle' are rarely in possession of either. Those who use the word 'lifestyle' are rarely in possession of either.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: If you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room. If you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: You don't have to lay an egg to know if it tastes good. You don't have to lay an egg to know if it tastes good.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: One [New York] eatery is a remodeled diner that looks like what Busby Berkeley would have done if only he hadn't had the money. One [New York] eatery is a remodeled diner that looks like what Busby Berkeley would have done if only he hadn't had the money.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be. Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna. My dream writing room would be the Imperial Library in Vienna.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years; we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me. New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years; we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling. Marriage entitles women to the protection of a strong man who will steady the stepladder while they paint the kitchen ceiling.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life than a pornographer. Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life than a pornographer.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture. The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere. I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Sarcasm: what they have in New York instead of jacuzzis. Sarcasm: what they have in New York instead of jacuzzis.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home! Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds. Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies. For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here. In New York we have zillions of different kinds of people, many of them hate each other, but violence based on that hatred is really uncommon here.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior. There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I am not ... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare. I am not ... totally unreceptive to colour providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood? I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
Fran Lebowitz quotes: The first step in having any successful war is getting people to fight it. The first step in having any successful war is getting people to fight it.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked. I hate all jobs. I've never had a job I liked.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I'm like the laziest person who ever lived. It's amazing to me I even sit up. I'm like the laziest person who ever lived. It's amazing to me I even sit up.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans. Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: A salad is not a meal, it is a style. A salad is not a meal, it is a style.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: There are some short essays that are very grave, and most contemporary novels are lighter than air. There are some short essays that are very grave, and most contemporary novels are lighter than air.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: What's the point of being young if you're not going to make new things, I wonder? What's the point of being young if you're not going to make new things, I wonder?
Fran Lebowitz quotes: When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody. When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: All of television's appalling, but this is hardly a new statement. All of television's appalling, but this is hardly a new statement.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: New York City is filled with the same kind of people I left New Jersey to get away from. New York City is filled with the same kind of people I left New Jersey to get away from.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Do not approach with anything even resembling assurance a restaurant that moves. Do not approach with anything even resembling assurance a restaurant that moves.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn. There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter. Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book. I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: [On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you. [On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I've never seen the Kardashians; I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to. I've never seen the Kardashians; I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain. A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure. Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum. If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people. Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I hate money. It is boring and it is arithmetic. The two things I hate the most. I hate money. It is boring and it is arithmetic. The two things I hate the most.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends. Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do. The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters. Generally speaking, the poorer person summers where he winters.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Donald Trump is not my fault. You can blame certain things on me, but not Donald Trump. Donald Trump is not my fault. You can blame certain things on me, but not Donald Trump.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab. To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: In fact, we live in a culture where intelligence, exceptional or not, is reviled. In fact, we live in a culture where intelligence, exceptional or not, is reviled.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life. The thing you love right away, don't do it, because that's the very thing that's going to be your addiction for the rest of your life.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Commercials and sometimes other guests - it's the down side of TV. Other people - it's the downside of life in general. Commercials and sometimes other guests - it's the down side of TV. Other people - it's the downside of life in general.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life. I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Sleep is death without the responsibility. Sleep is death without the responsibility.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them. I always liked people who are older. Of course, every year it gets harder to find them.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies. If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature. Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means. American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Civilised adults do not take apple juice with dinner. Civilised adults do not take apple juice with dinner.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography. Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness. You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set. Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer. When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Do not have your child's hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far too short to be exposed to contempt. Do not have your child's hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far too short to be exposed to contempt.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: The 3 questions of greatest concern are:, 1) Is it attractive?, 2) Is it amusing?, 3) Does it know its place? The 3 questions of greatest concern are:, 1) Is it attractive?, 2) Is it amusing?, 3) Does it know its place?
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house. Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea. China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking. Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep. Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I am not the type of person who wants to go back to the land I am the type who wants to got back to the hotel. I am not the type of person who wants to go back to the land I am the type who wants to got back to the hotel.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Things that people will say to me, mostly, is that you shouldn't have all these books. It's too expensive. Things that people will say to me, mostly, is that you shouldn't have all these books. It's too expensive.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion. All style is personal - that's what distinguishes it from fashion.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth. Any artist who has that quality of timelessness has that quality because they tell the truth.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive. I love being in love. I don't think anything compares with it, though I consider it very disruptive.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: To lose yourself in a book is the desire of the bookworm. I mean to be taken. That is my desire. To lose yourself in a book is the desire of the bookworm. I mean to be taken. That is my desire.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you. Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful. If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better. If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back. Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me. When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: If you feel the urge to write, just lie down and read a book: it will pass. If you feel the urge to write, just lie down and read a book: it will pass.
Fran Lebowitz quotes: Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough. Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough.

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