Finley Peter Dunne quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Finley Peter Dunne

Finley Peter Dunne Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Finley Peter Dunne on Wise Famous Quotes.

Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

Even an Englishman was niver improved by bein' blown up.

It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.

The American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people; they love the eagle - on the back of a dollar.

Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.

If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.

There are no friends at cards or world politics.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf.
Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure.
But th' shelf is th' main thing.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien ... that the more you see it the better you like it.

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

No matter whether the Constitution follows the flag or not, the Supreme Court follows the election returns.

Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.

Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.

Don't jump on a man unless he is down.

It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.

Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.

I care not who makes th' laws iv a nation, if I can get out an injunction.

A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.

You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.

A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief, but they run away fr'm doubt.

Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.

The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better
it is just turning around as usual.

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.

What's wan man's news is another man's throubles.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

The last man that makes a joke owns it.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.

There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

A man can be right and president, but he can't be both at the same time.

Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while.

Histhry is a post-mortem examination. It tellsye what a counthry died iv. But I'd like to know what it lived iv.

A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.

Trust everybody, but always cut the cards.

If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.

To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.

The Puritans gave thanks for being preserved from the Indians, and we give thanks for being preserved from the Puritans.

Th' dead ar-re always pop'lar. I knowed a society wanst to vote a monyment to a man an' refuse to help his fam'ly, all in wan night.

If ye live enough befure thirty ye won't care to live at all afther fifty.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.

It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.

When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.

A man never becomes an orator if he has anything to say.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

Politics ain't beanbag: 'tis a man's game, and women, children 'n' pro-hy-bitionists had best stay out of it.

A man's idee in a card game is war