Drew Carey quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Drew Carey

Drew Carey Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Drew Carey on Wise Famous Quotes.

I'm the kind of person that likes what I'm doing when I'm doing it.

Welcome to 'Who's Line Is It Anyway' the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are just like Canada.

I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television; the ultimate stereo cabinet.

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.

The only way I'd need a pain reliever to enjoy sex is if all of my fantasies came true at the same time.

Exercise is the main thing that helped me lose weight.

After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine.

What good is democracy if you can't get what you want?

I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.

I could still eat a cheeseburger if I wanted to. I just can't have them every day.

I'm never afraid to die. I think that's the best thing that can happen to somebody is they get to move on and do something better.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off.

When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games.

You know what I worry about? I worry that when I hit my head, it pushes my hair into my brain, and it will eventually kill me.

Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's OK if you are.

Every election I have to hold my nose to vote.

The economy is in trouble, schools are in trouble, and people have been leaving the city in droves for a long, long time.

I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them.

I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.

I can't do that. I'm already the single guy living in his parents' house. I can't be seen digging a grave in the middle of the night.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them.

I'm competitive at everything.

Violence doesn't solve anything? World War I. World War II. Star Wars. Every Super Bowl. Who says violence doesn't solve anything?

My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.

It doesn't matter how smart you are; to audition for 'Jeopardy,' you just have to luck out and know what they're asking you that day.

What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.

International soccer has been a big part of my love for the sport. I love the Men's National Team. I can say that they're my favorite sports team.

Trust me, kids - your homework can wait. Don't need to be doing homework while Whose Line is on; skip it!

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

Reality shows always look for the worst people.

I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas.

Who ever thought that the world-famous Captain Obvious was really mild-mannered Colin Mochrie?

The easiest diet is, you know, eat vegetables, eat fresh food. Just a really sensible healthy diet like you read about all the time.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test.

Funniest thing happened though, you wouldn't believe it, ha, the mannequins came to life. I went insane.

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.

In any other job, they're truck drivers. In show-biz, they're Transportation Captains.

I loved the old stories in National Lampoon, like the original story the movie Vacation was based on. I used to laugh at them until I cried.

I'm down to earth; people sense that and they appreciate it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Libertarians are conservatives who still get high.

When I'm working, I'm going to avoid all media. No newspapers, no magazines, no movies, no radio, no TV. I'm just going to do creative work.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.

I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio.

The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can.

The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

It should be up to each bar owner and patron to decide if they want to smoke or not.

The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job.

I don't have a Bluetooth thing on my ear. That bugs me.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it.

If frogs could fly - well, we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat?

But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.

What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV!

I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter..

If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist. That was my other dream job.

I'm not a good lover, but at least I'm fast.

The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.

I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything.

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'

'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.

I was just sick of being fat, you know? You get sick of it. It just really, it's a tiring lifestyle to have.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

It sucks being fat, you know.

I was in the band when I was a kid, I played the trumpet.

I always run in the morning on an empty stomach, and I'll go through a bottle and a half of water. Then I have a protein drink or I eat egg whites.

And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get.

Just because a guy has a shaved head, pierced nipples, and doesn't have sex with women doesn't make him gay. It just makes him down on his luck.

I wish I could end every rap song I didn't like with a buzzer.

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

Yeah, apparently chasing a bus uses different muscles than sitting and eating.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

There is no such thing as too much fun. People need to know it is O.K. to tell jokes and be happy.

Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.

Isn't it amazing that the Germans call their city halls 'rat houses'? That's what we should call our city halls!

Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment.

When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot.

The less government, the better

As far as exercising goes ... watch for my next book, How I died while Jogging.

Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.

I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.

My cranky cardiologist says I'm destined to die in the kitchen.

On other shows when they get to the end of the scene, they yell 'Cut!' On Whose Line, we yell 'That's Enough!'

Living in Hollywood, you can get disconnected from everybody. You can feel like you are the only one.

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

The TV season is a year-long thing now, and the networks are starting to look at it that way, thanks to cable, satellites, and competition.

I never thought I was a libertarian until I picked up Reason magazine and realized I agree with everything they had printed.

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.

I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.