Dov Davidoff Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Dov Davidoff on Wise Famous Quotes.

Dov Davidoff quotes: The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something. The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic? Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Dov Davidoff quotes: Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with. Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I have emotional needs that I didn't know I had, and I have physical needs that I didn't know weren't really needs. I have emotional needs that I didn't know I had, and I have physical needs that I didn't know weren't really needs.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before. I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them. Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Perhaps being hated in the right way is preferable to being loved in the wrong one. Perhaps being hated in the right way is preferable to being loved in the wrong one.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Comedy is rarely funny. Comedy is rarely funny.
Dov Davidoff quotes: A high percentage of vegan men look like lesbians. A high percentage of vegan men look like lesbians.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded. I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'? Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
Dov Davidoff quotes: I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much. I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal. Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.
Dov Davidoff quotes: The Middle East is America's 'champagne room'. No matter how much you spend, you will still never get what you want. The Middle East is America's 'champagne room'. No matter how much you spend, you will still never get what you want.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress. Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream. Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great. Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world. Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less. I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Dating a white girl is like dating a black girl if she were really passive-agressive. Dating a white girl is like dating a black girl if she were really passive-agressive.
Dov Davidoff quotes: If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon. If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's. Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.
Dov Davidoff quotes: No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand. No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush. Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place. Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Few things interest me more than the things people don't say. Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
Dov Davidoff quotes: How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more? How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
Dov Davidoff quotes: Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier. Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
Dov Davidoff quotes: People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport. People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
Dov Davidoff quotes: The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers. The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
Dov Davidoff quotes: MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty. MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world. Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
Dov Davidoff quotes: The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face. The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I've always wanted children ... not of my own, but for yard work and reaching into tight places to get things I've dropped. I've always wanted children ... not of my own, but for yard work and reaching into tight places to get things I've dropped.
Dov Davidoff quotes: People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be. People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay. Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
Dov Davidoff quotes: It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage. It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
Dov Davidoff quotes: People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time. People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
Dov Davidoff quotes: When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously. When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph. Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East. Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing. Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be. Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one. Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as not at all attracted to me. I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as not at all attracted to me.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Sex sells, unless you're dehydrated in which case you'd be much more likely to purchase water. Sex sells, unless you're dehydrated in which case you'd be much more likely to purchase water.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition. Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
Dov Davidoff quotes: The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache. The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure. I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it. I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
Dov Davidoff quotes: If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie. If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Is it cynical to assume that anyone smiling is a liar and a criminal? Is it cynical to assume that anyone smiling is a liar and a criminal?
Dov Davidoff quotes: Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money. Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution. Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
Dov Davidoff quotes: My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle. My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys. Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death. Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social. Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
Dov Davidoff quotes: If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death. If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding. Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness? Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
Dov Davidoff quotes: Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness. Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.
Dov Davidoff quotes: All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully. All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Homemade' sounds much better when not referring to tattoos. Homemade' sounds much better when not referring to tattoos.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Headphone aren't big enough these days. Why not just throw a couple of stereo speakers in a full face motorcycle helmet. Headphone aren't big enough these days. Why not just throw a couple of stereo speakers in a full face motorcycle helmet.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Whenever I'm around people it causes me to feel nostalgic for the loneliness that drove me into their presence in the first place. Whenever I'm around people it causes me to feel nostalgic for the loneliness that drove me into their presence in the first place.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror? Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?
Dov Davidoff quotes: A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break. A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out. I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer. Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another. I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do ... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life. Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do ... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
Dov Davidoff quotes: The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine. The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
Dov Davidoff quotes: If I were a gynecologist, I'd say things like, Okay, enough of the small talk. Let's check under the hood. If I were a gynecologist, I'd say things like, Okay, enough of the small talk. Let's check under the hood.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you. Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend. Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
Dov Davidoff quotes: If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor. If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I've decided to hire a 'food taster', not because I think anyone is trying to kill me, but because I want to make sure it's not to salty. I've decided to hire a 'food taster', not because I think anyone is trying to kill me, but because I want to make sure it's not to salty.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years. Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary. Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.
Dov Davidoff quotes: At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse. At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight. Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'. Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time. Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are ... Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are ...
Dov Davidoff quotes: False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence. False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
Dov Davidoff quotes: We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour. We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
Dov Davidoff quotes: If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness. If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I'd find myself more interesting if I weren't with me all the time. I'd find myself more interesting if I weren't with me all the time.
Dov Davidoff quotes: White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one. White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
Dov Davidoff quotes: You're pregnant? Congratulations, the world needs another mindless, semiliterate consumer. You're pregnant? Congratulations, the world needs another mindless, semiliterate consumer.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny. Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny.
Dov Davidoff quotes: If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity. If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself. I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
Dov Davidoff quotes: I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of. I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.
Dov Davidoff quotes: If no-eye contact sex were a sport, I'm not saying I'd make it to the Olympics, but I like my chances. If no-eye contact sex were a sport, I'm not saying I'd make it to the Olympics, but I like my chances.
Dov Davidoff quotes: My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish. My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
Dov Davidoff quotes: People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat. People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy. Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
Dov Davidoff quotes: Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it. Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.

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