Darynda Jones Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Darynda Jones on Wise Famous Quotes.

Darynda Jones quotes: Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.
- T-shirt
Darynda Jones quotes: Uncle Bob answered, his tone brusque. "What have you got?""Besides great boobs?" I asked."On the case."He was so testy. Uncle Bob answered, his tone brusque. "What have you got?"
"Besides great boobs?" I asked.
"On the case."
He was so testy.
Darynda Jones quotes: On a scale of one to stepping on a LEGO, how much pain are you in? On a scale of one to stepping on a LEGO, how much pain are you in?
Darynda Jones quotes: Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake. Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
Darynda Jones quotes: Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers Friends don't let friends get killed by serial killers
Darynda Jones quotes: Signs you drink too much coffee: You don't sweat. You percolate.Internet meme Signs you drink too much coffee: You don't sweat. You percolate.
Internet meme
Darynda Jones quotes: He was leaving my stepmother for a sailboat. Not that I blamed him. A sailboat would at least be useful. He was leaving my stepmother for a sailboat. Not that I blamed him. A sailboat would at least be useful.
Darynda Jones quotes: Time to make today my bitch. Time to make today my bitch.
Darynda Jones quotes: I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly
Darynda Jones quotes: Welcome back. I see the assassins have failed. Welcome back. I see the assassins have failed.
Darynda Jones quotes: Where do writers get their ideas from? Anywhere and everywhere. Nothing is sacred. Where do writers get their ideas from? Anywhere and everywhere.
Nothing is sacred.
Darynda Jones quotes: Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit.""Well, you are pretty fruity. Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit."
"Well, you are pretty fruity.
Darynda Jones quotes: I was more than willing to put aside the Charley Davidson Book of Etiquette and Mud Wrestling if it resulted in earth-shattering orgasms. I was more than willing to put aside the Charley Davidson Book of Etiquette and Mud Wrestling if it resulted in earth-shattering orgasms.
Darynda Jones quotes: That boy needs a hobby.""Stalking is a hobby.""So is serial killing. That boy needs a hobby."
"Stalking is a hobby."
"So is serial killing.
Darynda Jones quotes: There is a fine line between freedom and slavery. There is a fine line between freedom and slavery.
Darynda Jones quotes: Being an adult means never having to show your work on math problems. - T-SHIRT Being an adult means never having to show your work on math problems. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones quotes: Whoever is in charge of making sure I don't do stupid shit is fired. - T-SHIRT Whoever is in charge of making sure I don't do stupid shit is fired.
- T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones quotes: Holy shit, are you positive?""As a pregnancy test a month after prom. Holy shit, are you positive?"
"As a pregnancy test a month after prom.
Darynda Jones quotes: I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. - T-SHIRT I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones quotes: Any said by "Charley Davidson" is my favorite! Any said by "Charley Davidson" is my favorite!
Darynda Jones quotes: So, was it good for you?" I asked him.He shook his head. "I faked it.""Really? So did I. I guess we'll have to try again. So, was it good for you?" I asked him.
He shook his head. "I faked it."
"Really? So did I. I guess we'll have to try again.
Darynda Jones quotes: You're the reason I breathe You're the reason I breathe
Darynda Jones quotes: He's helped me a lot over the years.""I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours.""I have skin allergies. I'm itchy. He's helped me a lot over the years."
"I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours."
"I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
Darynda Jones quotes: GPS. I tracked your phone. PIs can do shit like that. That's how we roll.""That's so wrong.""And yet it feels so right. GPS. I tracked your phone. PIs can do shit like that. That's how we roll."
"That's so wrong."
"And yet it feels so right.
Darynda Jones quotes: There is a great need for a sarcasm font. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
Darynda Jones quotes: Crazy chicks are usually pretty tough. Crazy chicks are usually pretty tough.
Darynda Jones quotes: I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that. I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Darynda Jones quotes: You're the reason I get up in the morning. That, and I need to pee. - E-CARD You're the reason I get up in the morning. That, and I need to pee. - E-CARD
Darynda Jones quotes: Death via extreme pleasure was a serious concern. Death via extreme pleasure was a serious concern.
Darynda Jones quotes: Men were weird. Especially men made of tempered steel and fire and perpetual darkness. Or men with penises. Either way Men were weird. Especially men made of tempered steel and fire and perpetual darkness. Or men with penises. Either way
Darynda Jones quotes: You do have a tendency to severe spinal cords.""Only for you. You do have a tendency to severe spinal cords."
"Only for you.
Darynda Jones quotes: Laughing was like Jell-o. There was always time for Jell-o. Laughing was like Jell-o. There was always time for Jell-o.
Darynda Jones quotes: Just remember," Reyes said, "anything you do to my daughter, I do to you. Just remember," Reyes said, "anything you do to my daughter, I do to you.
Darynda Jones quotes: Better to see dead than be dead. Better to see dead than be dead.
Darynda Jones quotes: there is nothing to fear more in life than fear.... and spiders there is nothing to fear more in life than fear.... and spiders
Darynda Jones quotes: I don't understand your specific kind of crazy, but I do admire your commitment to it. I don't understand your specific kind of crazy, but I do admire your commitment to it.
Darynda Jones quotes: The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis. The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.
Darynda Jones quotes: Are you ready?" she asked, whispering. "Ready as a drunk virgin on prom night. Are you ready?" she asked, whispering. "Ready as a drunk virgin on prom night.
Darynda Jones quotes: Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy." "Do you even know what that means?""No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy."
"Do you even know what that means?"
"No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives
Darynda Jones quotes: Suddenly I'm that chick from Fatal Attraction. Next thing you know, I'll be boiling rabbits. Suddenly I'm that chick from Fatal Attraction. Next thing you know, I'll be boiling rabbits.
Darynda Jones quotes: Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt
Darynda Jones quotes: I got an almost clear peripheral look at the guy's left fist. I might could recognize his pinkie." * I got an almost clear peripheral look at the guy's left fist. I might could recognize his pinkie." *
Darynda Jones quotes: Love New York." I nodded my head. "I only like New York as a friend, but I'm in. Love New York." I nodded my head. "I only like New York as a friend, but I'm in.
Darynda Jones quotes: I already know I'm going to hell. At this point, it's really go big or go home. - T-SHIRT I already know I'm going to hell. At this point, it's really go big or go home. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones quotes: I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja. I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.
Darynda Jones quotes: I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. - T-SHIRT I may not have any skeletons in my closet, but I do have a little box of souls in my sock drawer. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones quotes: Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt) Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)
Darynda Jones quotes: I have seen things. Awful things. Empty coffee cup things. I have seen things. Awful things. Empty coffee cup things.
Darynda Jones quotes: I was growing on him,I could tell.I was a lot like mold that way. I was growing on him,I could tell.I was a lot like mold that way.
Darynda Jones quotes: I would lose you forever, and I've only ever wanted you. I would lose you forever, and I've only ever wanted you.
Darynda Jones quotes: IF IT HAS TIRES OR TESTICLES, IT'S GONNA GIVE YOU TROUBLE. - BUMPER STICKER IF IT HAS TIRES OR TESTICLES, IT'S GONNA GIVE YOU TROUBLE. - BUMPER STICKER
Darynda Jones quotes: Closure, good or bad, is not overrated. Closure, good or bad, is not overrated.
Darynda Jones quotes: When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler. When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.
Darynda Jones quotes: IRONY: THE OPPOSITE OF WRINKLY. - T-SHIRT IRONY: THE OPPOSITE OF WRINKLY. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones quotes: Never trust a man with a penis. Never trust a man with a penis.
Darynda Jones quotes: I caused more trouble than gonorrhea. I caused more trouble than gonorrhea.
Darynda Jones quotes: I'm a virgin.But this is an old shirt.--T-SHIRT I'm a virgin.
But this is an old shirt.

--T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones quotes: NEVER BE AFRAID TO DART AROUND IN PUBLIC, HUMMING THE MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE THEME SONG. NEVER BE AFRAID TO DART AROUND IN PUBLIC, HUMMING THE MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE THEME SONG.
Darynda Jones quotes: It isn't the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop. It isn't the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
Darynda Jones quotes: Whichever you choose, you're the one who has to deal with the consequences. So make your decision wisely, Whichever you choose, you're the one who has to deal with the consequences. So make your decision wisely,
Darynda Jones quotes: jealousy was in a whole category by itself. One that sat right between instability and insecurity. jealousy was in a whole category by itself. One that sat right between instability and insecurity.
Darynda Jones quotes: Don't expect everything to be handed to me. Just set it down wherever. - T-SHIRT Don't expect everything to be handed to me. Just set it down wherever. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones quotes: Winching was apparently a guy thing. As was wenching. Winching was apparently a guy thing. As was wenching.
Darynda Jones quotes: One day, I'm going to get to the bottom of you, Charley Davidson."I had no idea she was into anal. One day, I'm going to get to the bottom of you, Charley Davidson."
I had no idea she was into anal.
Darynda Jones quotes: Brownies were like spare batteries. One could never have too many in the house. Brownies were like spare batteries. One could never have too many in the house.
Darynda Jones quotes: How would you like your eggs?"I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized? How would you like your eggs?"
I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized?
Darynda Jones quotes: I'm currently unsupervised It frisks me out too but the possibilities are endless I'm currently unsupervised
It frisks me out too but the possibilities are endless
Darynda Jones quotes: DON'T GO BUYING TROUBLE.IT'S FREE AND IT KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE. - T-SHIRT DON'T GO BUYING TROUBLE.
IT'S FREE AND IT KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE.
- T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones quotes: Because I don't deserve your touch. Because I don't deserve your touch.
Darynda Jones quotes: He was angry with me once again. Men and their mood swings. Women had nothing on them. He was angry with me once again. Men and their mood swings. Women had nothing on them.
Darynda Jones quotes: If I'm upset, hold me and tell me how beautiful I am.If I growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate. - BEST. ADVICE. EVER. If I'm upset, hold me and tell me how beautiful I am.
If I growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate.
- BEST. ADVICE. EVER.
Darynda Jones quotes: I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations. I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
Darynda Jones quotes: Dude," I said, leaning over the desk, "I'm about as psychic as a carrot. Dude," I said, leaning over the desk, "I'm about as psychic as a carrot.
Darynda Jones quotes: Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker
Darynda Jones quotes: The fact that there's a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers. - The fact that there's a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers. -
Darynda Jones quotes: Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Freaking Antichrists. Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Freaking Antichrists.
Darynda Jones quotes: Showers were God's reward for working hard enough to get dirty. Showers were God's reward for working hard enough to get dirty.
Darynda Jones quotes: Dear Santa, WTF... Dear Santa, WTF...
Darynda Jones quotes: Don't think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated. Don't think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
Darynda Jones quotes: In three hundred feet, turn right, Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him anything. In three hundred feet, turn right, Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him anything.
Darynda Jones quotes: For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked. For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked.
Darynda Jones quotes: I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies. I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
Darynda Jones quotes: It takes thirty-three days to write a bookonly thirty-three days. remember, writers lie for a living. It takes thirty-three days to write a book
only thirty-three days. remember, writers lie for a living.
Darynda Jones quotes: And that most people would never understand the devastating need of those left behind, the need to know the truth. And that most people would never understand the devastating need of those left behind, the need to know the truth.
Darynda Jones quotes: Holy water may fend off demons, but spiders were completely unfazed by it. Holy water may fend off demons, but spiders were completely unfazed by it.
Darynda Jones quotes: Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman. Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
Darynda Jones quotes: No, no, no, no, no. Anything but murder. Or rape. Or kidnapping. Or armed robbery. Or indecent exposure, 'cause that's just creepy. No, no, no, no, no. Anything but murder. Or rape. Or kidnapping. Or armed robbery. Or indecent exposure, 'cause that's just creepy.
Darynda Jones quotes: WHILE writing, just try to have fun with your ms. Enjoy the process, but push on. Always push toward the finish line! WHILE writing, just try to have fun with your ms. Enjoy the process, but push on. Always push toward the finish line!
Darynda Jones quotes: Damn it, I needed The Idiot's Guide to Grim Reaperism. Damn it, I needed The Idiot's Guide to Grim Reaperism.
Darynda Jones quotes: Life ain't all burritos and strippers, my friend. - TRUE FACT Life ain't all burritos and strippers, my friend. - TRUE FACT
Darynda Jones quotes: Even from a distance you burn, you scorch anyone who gets too close. Even from a distance you burn, you scorch anyone who gets too close.
Darynda Jones quotes: ANXIETY GIRL! ABLE TO JUMP TO THE WRONG CONCLUSION IN A SINGLE BOUND. - T-SHIRT ANXIETY GIRL! ABLE TO JUMP TO THE WRONG CONCLUSION IN A SINGLE BOUND. - T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones quotes: Developing your voice takes ... time and practice. Developing your voice takes ...
time and practice.
Darynda Jones quotes: There should be one line at every store for people who have their shit together. - TRUE FACT There should be one line at every store for people who have their shit together. - TRUE FACT
Darynda Jones quotes: Sometimes I crave pickles. Other times I crave the blood of my enemy. Weird. - CHARLEY DAVIDSON Sometimes I crave pickles. Other times I crave the blood of my enemy. Weird. - CHARLEY DAVIDSON
Darynda Jones quotes: dead guys?" "No," I said, watching Dad and Uncle Bob dead guys?" "No," I said, watching Dad and Uncle Bob
Darynda Jones quotes: Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick. Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.
Darynda Jones quotes: That Reyes Farrow boy. That Reyes Farrow boy.
Darynda Jones quotes: I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.T-SHIRT I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.
T-SHIRT
Darynda Jones quotes: The only thing I hated worse than cleaning my apartment was torture, though the two were a hairsbreadth away from neck-and-neck. I The only thing I hated worse than cleaning my apartment was torture, though the two were a hairsbreadth away from neck-and-neck. I

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