Casey Stengel Quotes

Never make bad predictions, especially about the futture.

A lot of people my age are dead and you could look it up.

Don't cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.

If I've got a good pinch-hitter, I hate to have him stay on the bench with men on the bases in an early inning. He may end the game right there.

Play every game as if your job depended on it. It just might.

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.

If anybody needs me, I'm in my room being embalmed.

No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball.

All I ask is that you bust your heiny on that field.

I don't know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.

I couldn't have done it without my players.

You could look it up.

What's the use of askin' a man to execute if he can't execute?

The best ballplayer's the one who doesn't think he made good. He keeps trying to convince you.

The Mets has come along slow, but fast!

I was a left-handed dentist who made people cry.

Once someone gave me a picture and I wrote 'Do good in school.' I looked up and the guy was 78 years old

If you're so smart, let's see you get out of the Army.

He (Gil Hodges) fields better on one leg than anybody else I got on two.

You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right.

If you're playing baseball and thinking about managing, you're crazy. You'd be better off thinking about being an owner.

The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one. I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.

Wake up muscles we're in New York now.

The team has come along slow but fast.

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?

Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.

You gotta learn that if you don't get it by midnight, chances are you ain't gonna get it, and if you do, it ain't worth it.

I was not successful as a ball player, as it was a game of skill.

Nobody knows this, but one of us has just been traded to Kansas City.

Most games are lost, not won.

The trick is growing up without growing old.

They examined all my organs. Some of them are quite remarkable and others are not so good. A lot of museums are bidding for them.

Because there'd be two languages I couldn't speak, French and English.

I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.

I never saw anyone like Ty Cobb. No one even close to him as the greatest all-time ballplayer. That guy was superhuman, amazing.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.

The only thing worse than a Mets game is a Mets doubleheader.

He (Babe Ruth) was very brave at the plate. You rarely saw him fall away from a pitch. He stayed right in there. No one drove him out.

We're in such a slump that even the ones that are drinkin' aren't hittin'.

He (Mickey Mantle) has it in his body to be great.

Whenever I decided to release a guy, I always had his room searched first for a gun. You couldn't take any chances with some of them birds.

We was going to get you a birthday cake, but we figured you'd drop it.

Canzeroni is the only defensive catcher that can't catch.

You can't go out to the mound hobbling and take a pitcher out with a cane.

The way our luck has been lately, our fellas have been getting hurt on their days off.

I was once asked what it takes to be a great manager ... my response? Great players.

The Mets have shown me more ways to lose than I even knew existed.

Johnny Sain don't say much, but that don't matter much, because when you're out there on the mound, you got nobody to talk to.

Now there's three things you can do in a baseball game: You can win or you can lose or it can rain.

I love signing autographs. I'll sign anything but veal cutlets. My ballpoint slips on veal cutlets.

If we're going to win the pennant, we've got to start thinking we're not as good as we think we are.

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

You make your own luck. Some people have bad
luck all their lives.

I'll never make the mistake of being 70 again.

Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they're successful.

Some of you fellers are getting 'Whiskey Slick.'

If you ran a delicatessen store, you would want to be the best delicatessen store, wouldn't you? Well, that's how I feel about the Yankees.

Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.

Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose 'em I never knew existed before.

We are a much improved ball club: now we lose in extra innings!

If you walk backwards, you'll find out you can go forwards and people won't know if you're coming or going.

Gettin' good players is easy. Gettin' 'em to play together is the hard part.

Take everything you can get over in center. The Dago's heel is hurting pretty bad.

You can get into the greatest business in the world because you can manufacture money by yourself on the field.

Most people my age are dead at the present time and you can look it up.

Left-handers have more enthusiasm for life. They sleep on the wrong side of the bed, and their head gets more stagnant on that side.

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

Jerry Lumpe looks like the best hitter in the world until you put him in the lineup.

I got players with bad watches - they can't tell midnight from noon.

Why shouldn't he break Ruth's record? He's got more power than Stalin.

They say it can't be done, but sometimes that doesn't always work.

If this keeps up (four game winning streak) I'm about to manage until I'm a hundred.

I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I've been thrown out of so many.

Baseball is very big at the present time. This makes me think baseball will live longer than Casey Stengel or anybody else.

Son, it ain't the water cooler that's striking you out.

Nobody ever had too many of them (pitchers).

Don't cut off your nose yourself.

Two hundred million Americans, and there ain't two good catchers among 'em.

I broke in with four hits, and the writers promptly declared they had seen the new Ty Cobb. It took me only a few days to correct that impression.

I would not admire hitting against Ryne Duren, because if he ever hit you in the head you might be in the past tense.

I don't like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three.

It's wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn't used to like.

Without losers, where would the winners be?

He'd (Yogi Berra) fall in a sewer and come up with a gold watch.

They say you can't do it, but sometimes it doesn't always work.

I made up my mind, but I made it up both ways.

The secret of successful managing is to keep the five guys who hate you away from the four guys who haven't made up their minds.

Even my players aren't players.

Most ball games are lost, not won.

After a deplorable day afield, when asked by a reporter what he thought of his team's execution

I'm mad at him, too, for being out late. But I'm not mad enough to take a chance on losing a ball game and possibly the pennant.

All that analysis is well and good, but what I need right now is a left-handed batter who can hit the ball over the shortstop's head.

Sometimes it's easier to understand things than it is to figure them out

Okay everybody, line up in alphabetical order according to your height.

I got one that can throw but can't catch, and one that can catch but can't throw, and one who can hit but can't do either.

You have to go broke three times to learn how to make a living.

You have to draft a catcher, because if you don't have one, the pitch will roll all the way back to the screen.

You have to have a catcher because if you don't you're likely to have a lot of passed balls.

I became a major league manager in several cities and was discharged. We call it discharged because there was no question I had to leave.