Bill Maher Quotes
Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Bill Maher
Bill Maher Famous Quotes & Sayings
Discover top inspirational quotes from Bill Maher on Wise Famous Quotes.
The shame would be if Democrats get thrown out of office without ever having tried Democratic policies.
The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.
This is America. We don't call an election before we know who won. That, after all, is the job of the Supreme Court.
Not doing anything is doing something and choosing to look away is a passive but no less mortal sin.
Republicans are obsessed with abortion ... if they really wanted to protect the weakest, most helpless people, wouldn't they protect the Democrats?
Ebola has arrived in New York City. And I say, 'if it can make it there ... it can make it anywhere!'
If somebody asks if you tweeted your penis and your answer is anything other than "No," you tweeted your penis.
Republicans: 'we fought the good fight' - yeah, it woulda been worth it if we could have prevented just one poor kid from getting a free inhaler.
The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
(The Decider, July 21, 2007)
(The Decider, July 21, 2007)
I'm for the death penalty, I'm pro-abortion, I'm pro-assisted suicide, I'm pro-regular suicide. Anything that'll get the traffic moving.
You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing.
The President said that Gold told him to invade Iraq. You see that's what happens when you mix New Testament and Old Milwaukee.
Don't vote for Republicans or Democrats until they clean up the open system of bribery that we live under.
Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic.
If there is such a thing as karma, let's hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane.
Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
You know, we do a lot of complaining here in America. And that itself is something they can't do in a lot of other countries.
There's a phrase we live by in America: "In God We Trust". It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
Guys you have way too much invested in sport. Guys you are not the tenth man. You're a machine for turning beer into piss that's what you are!
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out against gay marriage. He said marriage is a sacred union between a groupie and any number of body builders.
Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'
That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as well be a real ho.
What does it take for Republicans to take off the flag pin and say, 'I am just too embarrassed to be on this team'?
I used to stay at the Trump [hotels] and I just wouldn't now. The people were great, but I wouldn't stay at a 'birther' hotel.
New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it.
My personal savior is common sense. And as far as God goes, I prefer to believe in one that would want me to use the excellent brain he gave us all.
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
If you send more than one news van to cover Dancing with the Stars, then you have to change your name from Eyewitness News to Guess What, You Guys?
Only cowards push a button from thousands of miles away, or tens of thousands of feet up, to kill people who can't possibly fight back.
When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.
There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don't get a vote.
First they didn't believe in evolution. Then they didn't believe in global warming. Now the debt ceiling. What I call 'the moron trifecta.'
The difference between a GOP convention and Comic-Con is that the people at Comic-Con have a much firmer grasp of reality.
The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.
It's a little strange when you have never been to war, and you eye-roll about a guy who's got shrapnel still in his body, as Chuck Hagel does.
I was out at the HBO party, these are liberals, I imagine, and a lot of people came up to me and said, "Keep giving it to the president."
Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
If it makes you feel any better we will be happy to attack a country that had nothing to do with it.
Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid.