Bill Maher Quotes

Top 100 wise famous quotes and sayings by Bill Maher

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Bill Maher Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Bill Maher on Wise Famous Quotes.

Bill Maher quotes: The shame would be if Democrats get thrown out of office without ever having tried Democratic policies. The shame would be if Democrats get thrown out of office without ever having tried Democratic policies.
Bill Maher quotes: It's not that we don't careit's just that that we'd prefer not to get involved. It's not that we don't care
it's just that that we'd prefer not to get involved.
Bill Maher quotes: A flu shot is the worst thing you can do. A flu shot is the worst thing you can do.
Bill Maher quotes: The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!' The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'
Bill Maher quotes: The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap. The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.
Bill Maher quotes: This is America. We don't call an election before we know who won. That, after all, is the job of the Supreme Court. This is America. We don't call an election before we know who won. That, after all, is the job of the Supreme Court.
Bill Maher quotes: When the enemy gets to your citadel, your prided epicenter, everything's in play. When the enemy gets to your citadel, your prided epicenter, everything's in play.
Bill Maher quotes: I feel like I'm wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected. I feel like I'm wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
Bill Maher quotes: Because of the Republicans, I'm not ashamed of being an American. I'm embarrassed! Because of the Republicans, I'm not ashamed of being an American. I'm embarrassed!
Bill Maher quotes: Not doing anything is doing something and choosing to look away is a passive but no less mortal sin. Not doing anything is doing something and choosing to look away is a passive but no less mortal sin.
Bill Maher quotes: Republicans are obsessed with abortion ... if they really wanted to protect the weakest, most helpless people, wouldn't they protect the Democrats? Republicans are obsessed with abortion ... if they really wanted to protect the weakest, most helpless people, wouldn't they protect the Democrats?
Bill Maher quotes: Ebola has arrived in New York City. And I say, 'if it can make it there ... it can make it anywhere!' Ebola has arrived in New York City. And I say, 'if it can make it there ... it can make it anywhere!'
Bill Maher quotes: More astronauts have been to the moon than farmers who paid the inheritance tax in 2013. More astronauts have been to the moon than farmers who paid the inheritance tax in 2013.
Bill Maher quotes: I think Mitt Romney is a symptom. I think the problem is the Republican Party I think Mitt Romney is a symptom. I think the problem is the Republican Party
Bill Maher quotes: I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder. I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder.
Bill Maher quotes: If somebody asks if you tweeted your penis and your answer is anything other than "No," you tweeted your penis. If somebody asks if you tweeted your penis and your answer is anything other than "No," you tweeted your penis.
Bill Maher quotes: Eell there always is a tendency in human nature to deify. Eell there always is a tendency in human nature to deify.
Bill Maher quotes: Republicans: 'we fought the good fight' - yeah, it woulda been worth it if we could have prevented just one poor kid from getting a free inhaler. Republicans: 'we fought the good fight' - yeah, it woulda been worth it if we could have prevented just one poor kid from getting a free inhaler.
Bill Maher quotes: Fake it. We know you can do that. We've seen your sex tape. Fake it. We know you can do that. We've seen your sex tape.
Bill Maher quotes: Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
Bill Maher quotes: Recognition is one of the three big elements of comedy. Recognition is one of the three big elements of comedy.
Bill Maher quotes: Stand-up is great because I can get everything off my chest. Stand-up is great because I can get everything off my chest.
Bill Maher quotes: What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country. What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.
Bill Maher quotes: Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school. Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school.
Bill Maher quotes: The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.(The Decider, July 21, 2007) The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
(The Decider, July 21, 2007)
Bill Maher quotes: It just seems like the culture war is over, and the gay kissers won. It just seems like the culture war is over, and the gay kissers won.
Bill Maher quotes: The Drug War is an addiction, really. The Drug War is an addiction, really.
Bill Maher quotes: I'm for the death penalty, I'm pro-abortion, I'm pro-assisted suicide, I'm pro-regular suicide. Anything that'll get the traffic moving. I'm for the death penalty, I'm pro-abortion, I'm pro-assisted suicide, I'm pro-regular suicide. Anything that'll get the traffic moving.
Bill Maher quotes: You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing. You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing.
Bill Maher quotes: The President said that Gold told him to invade Iraq. You see that's what happens when you mix New Testament and Old Milwaukee. The President said that Gold told him to invade Iraq. You see that's what happens when you mix New Testament and Old Milwaukee.
Bill Maher quotes: Religion is detrimental to the progress of society. Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
Bill Maher quotes: This is America. We don't have adult discussions. We have Twitter. This is America. We don't have adult discussions. We have Twitter.
Bill Maher quotes: In ancient times they sacrificed the virgins. Men were not about to sacrifice the sluts! In ancient times they sacrificed the virgins. Men were not about to sacrifice the sluts!
Bill Maher quotes: Don't vote for Republicans or Democrats until they clean up the open system of bribery that we live under. Don't vote for Republicans or Democrats until they clean up the open system of bribery that we live under.
Bill Maher quotes: This party is just full of children, and someone needs to leave them in a hot car. This party is just full of children, and someone needs to leave them in a hot car.
Bill Maher quotes: When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad. When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.
Bill Maher quotes: Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic.
Bill Maher quotes: Fascism is when corporations become the government. Fascism is when corporations become the government.
Bill Maher quotes: If there is such a thing as karma, let's hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane. If there is such a thing as karma, let's hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane.
Bill Maher quotes: Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed. Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
Bill Maher quotes: Love does not conquer all. Love does not conquer all.
Bill Maher quotes: You know, we do a lot of complaining here in America. And that itself is something they can't do in a lot of other countries. You know, we do a lot of complaining here in America. And that itself is something they can't do in a lot of other countries.
Bill Maher quotes: When you tolerate intolerance, you're not really being a liberal. When you tolerate intolerance, you're not really being a liberal.
Bill Maher quotes: Why are there so many puritans in this country, and why can't the rest of us make them go away?! Why are there so many puritans in this country, and why can't the rest of us make them go away?!
Bill Maher quotes: Why are the patriots the ones who don't want to spend money on trains? Why are the patriots the ones who don't want to spend money on trains?
Bill Maher quotes: The car bomb was fertilizer, gasoline, fireworks and propane tanks ... still safer than a Toyota. The car bomb was fertilizer, gasoline, fireworks and propane tanks ... still safer than a Toyota.
Bill Maher quotes: Germs do not have a political party. Germs do not have a political party.
Bill Maher quotes: There's a phrase we live by in America: "In God We Trust". It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money. There's a phrase we live by in America: "In God We Trust". It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
Bill Maher quotes: But females in even the most advanced Muslim countries are simply, by law, not the equal of men. But females in even the most advanced Muslim countries are simply, by law, not the equal of men.
Bill Maher quotes: Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him? Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
Bill Maher quotes: The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed. The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
Bill Maher quotes: When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise. When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
Bill Maher quotes: If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope. If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
Bill Maher quotes: Guys you have way too much invested in sport. Guys you are not the tenth man. You're a machine for turning beer into piss that's what you are! Guys you have way too much invested in sport. Guys you are not the tenth man. You're a machine for turning beer into piss that's what you are!
Bill Maher quotes: Whatever good religion has done, it has come at a terrible price. Whatever good religion has done, it has come at a terrible price.
Bill Maher quotes: What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter. What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter.
Bill Maher quotes: Why is the AMA for 'Obamacare'? If this is going to hurt doctors, why are they for 'Obamacare'? Why is the AMA for 'Obamacare'? If this is going to hurt doctors, why are they for 'Obamacare'?
Bill Maher quotes: Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out against gay marriage. He said marriage is a sacred union between a groupie and any number of body builders. Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out against gay marriage. He said marriage is a sacred union between a groupie and any number of body builders.
Bill Maher quotes: Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?' Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'
Bill Maher quotes: That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as well be a real ho. That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as well be a real ho.
Bill Maher quotes: Hollywood isn't your cesspool, America. It's your mirror. Hollywood isn't your cesspool, America. It's your mirror.
Bill Maher quotes: What does it take for Republicans to take off the flag pin and say, 'I am just too embarrassed to be on this team'? What does it take for Republicans to take off the flag pin and say, 'I am just too embarrassed to be on this team'?
Bill Maher quotes: BP today finally managed to almost completely stop the flow of information. BP today finally managed to almost completely stop the flow of information.
Bill Maher quotes: Republicans look to find the future and they find radio. Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.
Bill Maher quotes: I used to stay at the Trump [hotels] and I just wouldn't now. The people were great, but I wouldn't stay at a 'birther' hotel. I used to stay at the Trump [hotels] and I just wouldn't now. The people were great, but I wouldn't stay at a 'birther' hotel.
Bill Maher quotes: New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it. New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it.
Bill Maher quotes: My personal savior is common sense. And as far as God goes, I prefer to believe in one that would want me to use the excellent brain he gave us My personal savior is common sense. And as far as God goes, I prefer to believe in one that would want me to use the excellent brain he gave us all.
Bill Maher quotes: Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream? Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream?
Bill Maher quotes: Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool. Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
Bill Maher quotes: Men are only as loyal as their options. Men are only as loyal as their options.
Bill Maher quotes: If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.
Bill Maher quotes: If you send more than one news van to cover Dancing with the Stars, then you have to change your name from Eyewitness News to Guess What, You Guys? If you send more than one news van to cover Dancing with the Stars, then you have to change your name from Eyewitness News to Guess What, You Guys?
Bill Maher quotes: Only cowards push a button from thousands of miles away, or tens of thousands of feet up, to kill people who can't possibly fight back. Only cowards push a button from thousands of miles away, or tens of thousands of feet up, to kill people who can't possibly fight back.
Bill Maher quotes: I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in? I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?
Bill Maher quotes: New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion. New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.
Bill Maher quotes: As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it. As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
Bill Maher quotes: Don't you miss the days when America was just MORALLY bankrupt? Don't you miss the days when America was just MORALLY bankrupt?
Bill Maher quotes: When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain. When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.
Bill Maher quotes: I just don't think a lot of Republicans like it when single women have sex. I just don't think a lot of Republicans like it when single women have sex.
Bill Maher quotes: I never thought I'd say this: what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush. I never thought I'd say this: what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.
Bill Maher quotes: There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don't get a vote. There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don't get a vote.
Bill Maher quotes: First they didn't believe in evolution. Then they didn't believe in global warming. Now the debt ceiling. What I call 'the moron trifecta.' First they didn't believe in evolution. Then they didn't believe in global warming. Now the debt ceiling. What I call 'the moron trifecta.'
Bill Maher quotes: Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids. Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids.
Bill Maher quotes: Your fuselage shouldn't open more easily than your pretzel bag. Your fuselage shouldn't open more easily than your pretzel bag.
Bill Maher quotes: The difference between a GOP convention and Comic-Con is that the people at Comic-Con have a much firmer grasp of reality. The difference between a GOP convention and Comic-Con is that the people at Comic-Con have a much firmer grasp of reality.
Bill Maher quotes: I like groaning. That means that you're not pandering to their already settled prejudices. I like groaning. That means that you're not pandering to their already settled prejudices.
Bill Maher quotes: The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right. The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right.
Bill Maher quotes: It's a little strange when you have never been to war, and you eye-roll about a guy who's got shrapnel still in his body, as Chuck Hagel does. It's a little strange when you have never been to war, and you eye-roll about a guy who's got shrapnel still in his body, as Chuck Hagel does.
Bill Maher quotes: I was out at the HBO party, these are liberals, I imagine, and a lot of people came up to me and said, "Keep giving it to the president." I was out at the HBO party, these are liberals, I imagine, and a lot of people came up to me and said, "Keep giving it to the president."
Bill Maher quotes: Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in 'Dancing with the Stars.' Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
Bill Maher quotes: Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group. Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.
Bill Maher quotes: If it makes you feel any better we will be happy to attack a country that had nothing to do with it. If it makes you feel any better we will be happy to attack a country that had nothing to do with it.
Bill Maher quotes: Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid. Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid.
Bill Maher quotes: Stupidity is not another form of knowledge. Stupidity is not another form of knowledge.
Bill Maher quotes: The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining. The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining.
Bill Maher quotes: I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting. I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting.
Bill Maher quotes: Curious people are interesting people; I wonder why that is. Curious people are interesting people; I wonder why that is.
Bill Maher quotes: Denying racism is the new racism Denying racism is the new racism
Bill Maher quotes: Let us not become so tolerant that we tolerate intolerance. Let us not become so tolerant that we tolerate intolerance.
Bill Maher quotes: Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is. Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

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