Victor Borge quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Victor Borge

Victor Borge Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Victor Borge on Wise Famous Quotes.

I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.

The elephant smoked too much.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.

If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.

Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.

You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky ... to Igor Stravinsky!

Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye ... and that's my reward ... the rest goes to the government.

The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.

(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.

In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist
but I found I had nothing to say.

Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.

I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much.

Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.

You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?

They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.

The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.

Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.