Terry Pratchett quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Terry Pratchett on Wise Famous Quotes.

She felt better for all that. A good shouting at somebody always makes you feel better and in control, especially if you aren't.

Granny hesitated. "Agnes who calls herself Perditax?"
"Perdita X," said Nanny. She at least respected anyone's right to recreate themselves.

They both savored the strange warm glow of being much more ignorant than ordinary people, who were ignorant of only ordinary things.

Mr. Tulip lived his life on that thin line most people occupy just before they haul off and hit someone repeatedly with a wrench.

You needed at least three witches for a coven. Two witches was just an argument.

Cats don't hunt seals. They would if they knew what they were and where to find them. But they don't, so that's all right.

The problem with Destiny, of course, is that she is often not careful where she puts her finger. Captain

They carried sticks and wore white clothes with bells on them, to stop them creeping up on people. No one likes an unexpected Morris dancer.

You know how to pray, don't you? Just put your hands together and hope.

Glurk hit the guard in as friendly a way as possible.

Lady Waggon Says That Any Bodies Found During A Weekend Party Should Be Disposed Of Discreetly, In Case Of Scandal.

It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes.
This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers

You have made quite a splash," said Vetinari, smiling, "as the fish said to the man with the lead weight tied to his feet.

The wizards' automatic response to any problem was to see if there was a book about it.

And what would humans be without love?
RARE, said Death.

Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.

A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

You were the kind of kid who couldn't see the difference between throwing rocks at a cat and setting it on fire.

The students were staring at her in the manner of those who have heard of the species 'female' but have never expected to get this close to one.

Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we'd been at all competent.

If you're too afraid of going astray you won't go anywhere

Would eternity feel like a long time, or were all lives - from a personal viewpoint - entirely the same length?

It's amazing the things that seem a good idea at the time.

The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.

Thief: I hate ****ing wizards!

Other Thief: You shouldn't **** them, then

No, fun isn't anybody, fun is what you have." W

Assassins did have a certain code, after all. It was dishonorable to kill someone if you weren't being paid.

Only an academic could state the obvious and pass it off as wisdom." -Moist Von Lipwig (T.P., Going Postal)

I am a great fan of science, but I cannot do a quadratic equation.

The night was as black as the inside of a cat.

Creators aren't gods. They make places, which is quite hard. It's men that make gods. This explains a lot.

Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?

Mort was already aware that love made you feel hot and cold and cruel and weak, but he hadn't realized that it could make you stupid.

I like being a writer.

He rather liked people. It was a major failing in a demon.

No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world more perfect.

... magic has a habit of lying low, like a rake in the grass.

Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

WHERE'S MY COW?!
IS THAT MY COW?!
HRRRUUUUGGGH!!!!
THAT'S NOT MY COW!
THAT'S A HIPPOPOTAMOUS!

Journalism makes you think fast. You have to speak to people in all walks of life. Especially local journalism.

Y'know,' he said, 'it's very hard to talk quantum using a language originally designed to tell other monkeys where the ripe fruit is.

Knowing how bad you could be is a great encouragement to being good.

Being a witch is a man's job: that's why it needs women to do it.

Do you think there's anything to eat in this forest?"
"Yes," said the wizard bitterly, "us.

You had to hand it to the Patrician, he admitted grudgingly. If you didn't, he sent men to come and take it away.

She always said you can't help people with magic, but you can help them with skin. By doin' real things, she meant.

It is not a good idea to spray finest brandy across the room, especially when your lighted cigar is in the way.

You know, after a woman's raised a family and so on, she wants to start living her own life.

I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out.

One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.

He was hanged, and then much later they put up a statue to him, which tells you more about people than you might wish to know.

It only takes a tweak to make the whole world new.

Wizards, like cats, can see Death.

They didn't have to be funny - they were father jokes.

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.

Magrat bought occult jewelry as a sort of distraction from being Magrat. She had three large boxes of the stuff and was still exactly the same person.

There was a click. There was a noise like a partridge. There was a thud.
There was silence.

(About a cookbook ... )
- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor ... but they ends up Tarts.

He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe.
Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one.

Mistress Weatherwax, you are a natural disputant." "No I ain't!

People needed to believe in gods, if only because it was so hard to believe in people.

While evidence says that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, they're probably all on first steps.

And there are those who would rather be behind evil than in front of it,

Last hopeless chances have got to work. Nothing makes sense otherwise. You might as well not be alive.

He'd won. There'd be dragons again. And a king again. Not like the old kings. A king who would do what he was told.

Human beings have always preferred common sense to logic.

They saw that the perfect world is a journey, not a place.

It's a mistake trying to cheer up camels. You may as well drop meringues into a black hole.

TAKE YOUR TIME, I BROUGHT A BOOK TO READ

We can't just drop everything, sir!"
"Mister Lipwig. Is there something in the word 'tyrant' you do not understand?

Ach, people are always telling us not to do things" said Rob Anybody, "that's how we ken the most interesting things to do.

There was always something that needed transferring from A to B or, of course, to the bottom of the C.
Any

Esk wouldn't have known what a collective noun was if it had spat in her eye, but she knew there was a herd of goats and a coven of witches.

Its the same everywhere. If you want big grief, look to the ladies.

Certainly I have no faith in Jehovah, although I think it quite likely that Jesus Christ, as a preacher and a wise man, did indeed exist.

"Out of Print" is bookseller speak for "We can't be hedgehogged".

WHAT THINGS SEEM MAY NOT BE WHAT THEY ARE,

You can't die with an unfinished book.

The Tree of Folklore has no objection whatever to creative carpenters.

Stopping a battle is much harder than starting it. Starting it only requires you to shout 'Attack!' but when you want to stop it, everyone is busy.

That's the trouble about the good guys and the bad guys! They're all guys!

But that was just it - hate was exactly the right word. Hate is a force of attraction. Hate is just love with its back turned.

He said it was better to belong where you don't belong than not to belong where you used to belong, remembering when you used to belong there.

Lots of ingenuity gets you through times with no money better than money gets you through times of no ingenuity.

He'd experienced the lovely warm feeling of a bad job well done.

Arch, giggling women and braying young men who'd been at the back of the line when the chins were handed out.

He'd never realized that, deep down inside, what he really wanted to do was make things go splat.

Sooner or later all things are numbers, yes?

There is no doubt that being human is incredibly difficult and cannot be mastered in one lifetime.

When I am old I shall wear midnight.

Pray you never face a good man, Vimes thought. He'll kill you with hardly a word.

I'm made up of everyone I've ever met who has changed the way I think.

Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.

He was up against a mind that regarded truth as a reference point but certainly not as a shackle.

When people talk about their great past they're usually trying to excuse the mediocre present.

They said that dying was just like going to sleep, although of course if you weren't careful bits of you could rot and drop off.

Slake was one of those places, Moist thought, that you put on the map because it was embarrassing to have a map with holes in it.

Even the hot meat pie man had stopped crying his wares and, with no regard for personal safety, was eating one. The

They can ta'k our lives but they can never ta'k our freedom!' Now there's a battle cry not designed by a clear thinker