You Are Funny Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about You Are Funny
You Are Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational You Are Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
She gave him a cold and enraged glare. 'You are so pathetic, you make me want to vomit.
— Morgan Rhodes
What? Why are you making the glee nose? The death of my world is funny? The final vengeance of my people? I will kill you.
— Jackson Lanzing
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
— Erma Bombeck
Are you decent?" a woman's voice called, pushing the door cautiously ajar. "Nay, but we're clothed," Cian purred. — Karen Marie Moning
Hojo-"You sound exactly like bandits, bossing me around."Bandits- "That's because we ARE bandits. — Rumiko Takahashi
If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?
— Doug Stanhope
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
— Billy Connolly
I know that look. What are you up to, Gwen?""What makes you think I'm up to something?"
The Valkyrie snorted. "You're breathing, aren't you? — Jennifer Estep
It is a very funny thing that the sleepier you are, the longer you take about getting to bed.
— C.S. Lewis
If I let you go are you going to hit me again?""What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry
If you are doing stand-up comedy, you have to be confident in what you are doing. That doesn't mean just because you are confident you are funny.
— Judah Friedlander
How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?
— Natasha Leggero
You know, albums are a funny thing. They're not like an intellectual decision. It's a collection of your kind of musings.
— Glen Hansard
Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you?
— W.C. Fields
Are you really speechless or has the vodka finally impaired your ability to function like a normal human?
— Heidi McLaughlin
You are a very threatening princess.""Be Careful or I'll beat you up with my tiara. — Alyssa Rose Ivy
They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
— George Carlin
Please assure me that you are all Republicans.
— Ronald Reagan
Y are you called the cheese man?
— Barbara Park
What sort of look are you going for?" Damn, how did he answer this? "Something ... normal," he finally said. — Toni Blake
Girls are like Pokemon, it doesn't matter how good you are, you can't catch any if you don't have any balls.
— Auliq Ice
You know what love means? It means loving the person you are now and not the person you want someone to be or the person they will be.
— Samantha Stroh Bailey
I suppose the things you remember about someone who has died are the funny moments. Those are the ones that stand out.
— Harry Lloyd
The movies are funny, in one way, because you think of everyone being as beautiful as the dawn, but that isn't true.
— Julian Fellowes
Back from where? you're not going out again and leaving me here are you?? Holy Hercules I sound like somebody's wife
— Ruth Downie
That depends. Are you going to call me an ass again?""That depends. Are you going to act like one?" -Ashton and Maya — Kelley Armstrong
Accents are funny. It sets me apart from the other girls doing comedy. It gives me more - how do you say? - pop-oo-laaarrrity.
— Sofia Vergara
Are you a female dog?""What?" Massie asked. "Why?"
"Because you are acting like a real bitch! — Lisi Harrison
I can eat you at breakfast, not because I am a monster; it is only because you are too cute and yummy.
— M.F. Moonzajer
Are you trying to tell all of us we have a bad signal-to-noise ratio?
— Robert A. Heinlein
You are the Energizer Bunny for badasses. -Ash
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
You know, there are just some things you never expect to face even on this job. A flying primate that shoots fire out its nose is one of them.
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
Gohan...Is that sunburn or are you blushing?
— Akira Toriyama
If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.
— Marlon Wayans
Sometimes you are the peanut to my butter and sometimes you are those annoying crumbs left over when someone makes toast.
— Brenda Lochinger
Most republicans are against contraception because they don't care about it. You can't get pregnant anally anyway.
— Chelsea Handler
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
— Golda Meir
The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you.
— Criss Jami
If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween ... don't. I will find you. I will hurt you.
— Lewis Black
Remind me," he paused, drawing in a stuttered gasp, "to never piss you off again. Christ, are you secretly a ninja?
— Jennifer L. Armentrout
Say, Cuttino. What are those Godawful clothes you're wearing? Man, this ain't Rhode Island anymore. You're in the NBA. The girls have teeth here.
— Charles Barkley
Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married there are no unresolved areas, nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies.
— Nigella Lawson
Why are you wearing a T-shirt under your other T-shirt?" Livvy asked."In case one of them is stolen," Marked said, as it were entirely normal. — Cassandra Clare
No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands ... that can do your brain.
— Ivan Stoikov
He balled his hand into a fist. "You are such a bitch." "Woof, woof," I said.
— Laurell K. Hamilton
You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world!
— James Dashner
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
— Henny Youngman
Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself.
— Alan Bennett
I can see none of you are smugglers; that's why it's so loud.
— Eugene Ormandy
Optimism isn't funny unless you are laughing at the person, whereas extreme pessimism is extremely funny. It's exaggeration.
— Steve Toltz
Yes, the mutes are already on. You took them off in the beginning.
— Eugene Ormandy
I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material!
— Wesley Snipes
When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'
— Susan Sarandon
Are you . . . lost?" "Not really," she told him. "We just don't know where we're going. — Joel N. Ross
If you're heading downtown from Centeral Park, my advice is to take the subway. Flying pigs are faster but way more dangerous
— Rick Riordan
Sometimes we know people who aretoo wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan
Some things in life are certain; death, taxes, and that your family will piss you off.
— Melanie Finn
What are those bulb things you're slicing?""You've never seen fennel? It looks like celery and tastes like licorice. — Ken Jennings
Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be, that's stupid. So be yourself
— Christina Grimmie
The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy.
— Harriet Morgan
Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you want to fuck me or eat me? Because I might have a problem with one of those.-Dex to Sloane — Charlie Cochet
Be careful, though.""Aren't I always?"
"No, I think the word for how you usually are is 'reckless. — Veronica Roth
Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy?
— Hannah Harrington
The physical mechanics of sex are pretty funny unless you are engaged in them. Then they are, of course, marvelous.
— Charlton Heston
Girls are funny. If they fall for you, they do what they want - their mothers be damned.
— Michael Schmicker
When you do stuff as a comedian, Hollywood sees you as a comedian and so most of the calls I get are for a funny movie or something like that.
— Cedric The Entertainer
The hateful reviews are very funny. And sometimes you can enjoy a hateful review much more than a good review.
— Gaspar Noe
Children are the most honest critics. They will say 'You're funny', but also 'You're pathetic - go away.'
— Dylan Moran
The guy behind the counter scratches his neck. "Are you being serious?" Her face is stoic. "Absolutely. I never kid about teddy bears.
— Jessica Sorensen
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
— Margaret Smith
You aren't a morning person, are you?" he mused."No, I'm not. There is a reason mornin' and mournin' sound the same. — L.A. Casey
When you live in a leading lady's body, which I do, you have to constantly prove that you are funny.
— Elizabeth Banks
You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.
— H. Jackson Brown Jr.
It's funny how the closer you get to God, the more you realize how far you are from Him.
— Mark Hart
We are about to be eaten by a dragon, you're crawling on bleeding hands through bat droppings, and you're worried about being proper?
— Bethany Wiggins
To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong!
— Chad Michael Murray
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
— Henny Youngman
