Woman Vs Man Funny Quotes: top 36 famous quotes about Woman Vs Man Funny

Woman Vs Man Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Woman Vs Man Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. — H.L. Mencken

A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put together let no woman put asunder. — A.R. Gurney

When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows. — Frederick Bushnell "Jack" Ryder

So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?" — Tommy Cooper

I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella. — Jimmy Cannon

Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man. — George Jean Nathan

You were falling for me, and I was falling for you, and we were falling together into the land of the fallen. — Lauren Blakely

Every man should marry - and no woman — Benjamin Disraeli

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!" — Henny Youngman

59. "This dew-like life will fade away; avoid involvement in superfluous things." ~ — Dogen

A man is always devoted to something more tangible than a woman - the idea of her. — Bauvard

Maybe the Dalai Lama is the only person who is totally honest, and even with him, he's skillful not to hurt anybody. He's skillful. — Richard Gere

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. — Erica Jong

Who are you?"
"No one of consequence."
"I must know."
"Get used to disappointment. — William Goldman

It was a little difficult to take him seriously when he sang along to a song about a woman taking another woman's man. — Holly Hood

Passionless is vulgar ("Metier: Why I Don't Write Like Franz Kafka") — William S. Wilson

We pulled the car up at the end of a long line of cars and truck. — Allison Parr

My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton. — Chic Murray

You don't want to have to be the man and the woman in the relationship. I always say you want a man who can fix the toilet. — Pamela Anderson

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. — Lana Turner

Money enhances a man, yes, as beauty enhances a woman. — Leona Helmsley

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Opposities are married. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Time and Tide wait for no Man; what about woman ? How Sexist ! — Gaurav Rao

She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much! — Ljupka Cvetanova

Who is the wisest man? He who neither knows or wishes for anything else than what happens. — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

I don't know what it means to live. — Haruki Murakami

An individual's arrogance is always in proportion to his lack of self-assurance. — Otto Weininger

It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil. — Martha Plimpton

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was made from his funny bone. — James M. Barrie

Shaga: How would you like to die, little man?
Tyrion: In my bed, at the age of eighty with a belly full of wine and a woman's mouth around my cock. — George R R Martin

They call me the confuser. Is he a man ... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind. — Noel Fielding

Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart.
Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook. — Mae West

The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases. — Nia Vardalos

Over ten thousand people have signed a petition to recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, that is next year's joke. — Craig Kilborn

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. — Mark Twain