What If Funny Quotes
Collection of top 69 famous quotes about What If Funny
What If Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational What If Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Maybe I think you're cute and funny. Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you, if you know what I mean.
— Ingrid Michaelson
We all obsess about what we are doing and accomplishing. What if we let it go and simply made the way we live our lives our accomplishment?
— Maria Shriver
If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.
— Charles Dickens
What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish."
— Robert Schimmel
Spandex bodysuits, huh?" His eyes twinkled. "If that's what turns you on - I'm all for giving it a try.
— J.C. Reed
Does anyone else day dream about what it would be like if specific age groups just dropped dead all across the world?
— Christy Leigh Stewart
I know what I would do if I were coach. I'd determine our strengths and weaknesses and utilize them. And it's pretty clear what our strength is.
— Michael Jordan
Why don't you say "What?" if you like to sleep with your own sister.
— The Undertaker
I've been fighting to be who I am all my life. What's the point of being who I am, if I can't have the person who was worth all the fighting for?
— Stephanie Lennox
If I let you go are you going to hit me again?""What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry
If you are doing stand-up comedy, you have to be confident in what you are doing. That doesn't mean just because you are confident you are funny.
— Judah Friedlander
Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?
— Oscar Wilde
I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?
— Dylan Moran
If you just stop and think, baby, honey, love is a funny thing. Whatever you put in, that's what you expect to gain.
— Jimmy Reed
'Chappie' would be like 'RoboCop,' but hilarious. If you mixed 'Robocop' with 'E.T.' and it was ... funny, that's what it is.
— Neill Blomkamp
Now there's a girl I don't want to mess with' - or at least, that's what I would think if I had a chronic fear of freakishly nice people.
— Nenia Campbell
Culver is a language magnet school. What it's mainly a magnet for, if you want to know the truth, is nerds.
— Dave Barry
If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband's murder.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, How to Build a Boat.
— Stephen Wright
Don't write about what you don't know even if you don't know it.
— Gertrude Stein
My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."
— Tim Vine
If you want to know what the camel stole from your kitchen yesterday, then you shouldn;t slit open its stomach. You should stare into its arsehole.
— Jussi Adler-Olsen
If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can't you just have some crisps?
— Russell Brand
Someone once said writing and gardening are similar pursuits. Tell you what, I'd have one fucked up garden if that were the case.
— Carla H. Krueger
She wondered what he looked like with his hat off and wondered again if he knew he was funny.
— Elmore Leonard
I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to ... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.
— Woody Allen
So if you are what you eat and you are as young as you feel, then I am a pizza, right out of the oven.
— Tom Althouse
I was always worried with comedy - what if I came to work and I wasn't in a funny mood? That hasn't been an issue.
— Jeremy Sisto
That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone.
— Lewis Black
If you're into what you're playing, that's the most important thing.
— James Hetfield
What does Christmas mean if we can't encourage small children to sit on a stranger's lap?
— Ian O'Doherty
I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?
— Ellen DeGeneres
Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?
— Regina Griffin
What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless.
— Bill Bryson
I didn't actually know what regret tasted like - but I imagined if it did have a flavor, it would be lutefisk.
— Angela N. Blount
Some attempts at translating from one language into another one can be pretty funny if the translators don't know what they're doing.
— Lori Peckham
If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.
— Marlon Wayans
Life has a funny way of testing you to see if you really want, what you say you want.
— Turcois Ominek
If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?
— Tina Fey
Hey, if having a beautiful, smart, funny, talented man love me unconditionally for the rest of my life makes me a victim, then that's what I am.
— Victoria Denault
What if I got hit by lightning while walking with an umbrella? Ban umbrellas! Fight the menace of lightning!
— Cory Doctorow
What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea of that.
— Karl Pilkington
What is about Army uniforms? Especially combats. They are just drool-worthy, if you ask me.
— Aditi Mathur Kumar
What are you boys doing?" she asks, as if we're still little kids messing around."Arguin'," Carlos says matter-of-factly. — Simone Elkeles
Girls are funny. If they fall for you, they do what they want - their mothers be damned.
— Michael Schmicker
