Wanted Funny Quotes
Collection of top 89 famous quotes about Wanted Funny
Wanted Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Wanted Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times.
— Lewis Black
Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther.
— Rowan Atkinson
I wanted to be funny for people who didn't care about fashion at all, to just to kind of exist as a silly character.
— Ben Stiller
My parents are both super funny, and I always knew I wanted to be on 'SNL.' My mom and I would watch it a lot.
— Casey Wilson
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
— Rodney Dangerfield
I wanted to shove her typewriter on the floor. I hated it and I hated her. I wanted to be a Cosby.
— Augusten Burroughs
When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!
— Rodney Dangerfield
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought
— Robert Breault
When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
— Lily Tomlin
I never intended to make a living from music. That's the funny thing. I wanted to be a journalist.
— Pete Seeger
My sister wanted a cat for a pet ... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.
— Chic Murray
When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.
— Noel Fielding
In that moment, I wanted to punch myself in the face.
— Jennifer L. Armentrout
I wanted to be in show business, and I was funny.
— Tom Smothers
All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.
— Carroll Bryant
Someone wanted to choke me to death on my own hair?
— K.J. Charles
Growing up my mother used to tell me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Funny how I always wanted to be me.
— Leona Keyoko Pink
I used to say I wanted somebody funny and intelligent, but kindness is the most important quality in a man.
— Cat Deeley
I wanted to play with death, like a child with a new toy, I wanted to push all the buttons and see what would happen.
— Holly Hood
She moved like water, graceful and soft and lovely. Every part of me wanted to stick out my foot and trip her, just to see her stumble.
— Cassandra Rose Clarke
The thing is, Fallon ... I told you before to lock the door if you wanted me to stay out. Funny thing is ... " I leaned in. "You. Never. Did.
— Penelope Douglas
Some girls want to be a princess when they grow up. I wanted to be in a bad bitch girl gang.
— Natalia Kills
Don't be a tourist. Plan less. Go slowly. I traveled in the most inefficient way possible and it took me exactly where I wanted to go.
— Andrew Evans
I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.
— Bill Burr
If they wanted their shit stirred, then stirred their shit was jolly well going to be.
— Stephen Clarke
I wanted to see how funny I could be without making the choice that every 10 minutes something big and visual had to happen.
— Judd Apatow
I wanted to write something tough, hard, sad, but funny.
— Jennifer Niven
Jake Johnson wanted to make clear that he was the great American actor, not just the funny guy on 'New Girl.'
— Colin Trevorrow
I do not know what it was about that boy but just looking at him, even I wanted to clout him on the head. It was a head that invited violence.
— Patrick DeWitt
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
— Mitch Hedberg
The fact of the matter is that I wanted to hold a grudge in some funny kind of way.Against everybody.
— Mario Puzo
An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.
— Frank Carson
When I was younger I wanted to be a big movie star who'd get to be funny on talk shows and then I wanted to retire and write science fiction.
— Scott Thompson
Never in his life had he hit a girl, nor would he. But, right now, he wanted to kick that NSA cutie in the ass cheek.
— Shane Scollins
How funny it was. The very thing that had broken her heart, now no longer wanted. A trick of time.
— Robin Black
You just wanted to walk in front of me so I'd have to stare at your butt
— Laurell K. Hamilton
I really wanted to just be a musician. I didn't want to be anything else, but I was funny and all that.
— Jamie Foxx
I roofied you because I wanted you naked ... and afraid, Tyler says again in a sinister voice
— Tara Sivec
Don't you think you're quite young?''I'm twenty-one,' said Brida. 'If I wanted to start learning ballet, I'd be conseidered too old. — Paulo Coelho
I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist. That's not a full joke there! It's filler.
— Mitch Hedberg
I wanted to beat the heck out of the JV guys for that, except I wouldn't know what to do in a fistfight without a manual.
— Carrie Harris
I rented a car. I didn't really need one, I just wanted to make one less available. I wanted one businessman on the bus with no car.
— Mitch Hedberg
And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.
— Roseanne Barr
Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car offended me. It was sitting right where I wanted to stand. What would you do?
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.
— Amy Schumer
When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him.
— Noel Fielding
I was a theater guy growing up and I wanted to be Al Pacino, and I think I just looked and sounded too funny.
— Charlie Day
Dark, cool, musty, smoky, where light fell funny and everyone looked like someone you knew or wanted to know. Or, more likely, wanted to forget.
— David Baldacci
I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.
— Adam Sandler
I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
— Groucho Marx
"I got up early because I wanted to." - Nobody
— Jim Gaffigan
I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.
— Mitch Hedberg
So? I know lots of beautiful women. Nova wanted to chase ... I merely obliged her by running.
— D.D. Chant
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
— Billy Connolly
I wanted to remind you that you do not allow me to deliver boats, as I have been known to crash them.
— Jennifer Echols
I wanted to write at school - to write funny stories which the teacher might ask me to read out to the class. It's all basically about showing off.
— Mark Billingham
