Tucker Max Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Tucker Max

Tucker Max Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Tucker Max quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want — Tucker Max

It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way. — Tucker Max

Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear. — Tucker Max

Did you hear the nonsensical prattle spewing from her pie-hole? — Tucker Max

I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying. — Tucker Max

In training, there is no winning or losing. There is only learning. — Tucker Max

I'm not some movie star relying on a studio. I have my own fans and I earned them. — Tucker Max

One of us needs to get laid."
"Just one of us?"
"What are the odds of both of us getting laid? — Tucker Max

Calling one thing 'literature' and another 'fiction' is a way to create status where there is none. — Tucker Max

I'm never going to be Tolstoy. — Tucker Max

There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends. — Tucker Max

Great careers are getting easier to find and audition for, but harder to keep. — Tucker Max

You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note. — Tucker Max

Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong. — Tucker Max

Of course, I'm not a doctor; I just watch a lot of ER and House. — Tucker Max

I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me. — Tucker Max

It's like a mini Bourbon Street with less culture and more disgusting hookers. — Tucker Max

I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures. — Tucker Max

There aren't a whole lot of people in culture that are unapologetically masculine. — Tucker Max

When I give speeches at college, I don't tell stories, I talk about what it is to live your dreams and take the path less traveled. — Tucker Max

I prefer to keep fooling myself, at least for a little while longer. — Tucker Max

I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them. — Tucker Max

I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship. — Tucker Max

If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people. — Tucker Max

I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are. — Tucker Max

Whatever your favorite food is, if you eat it every day for a month, you're going to get sick of it. — Tucker Max

Listen to authority figures because of their position, but only believe them if they can explain why. — Tucker Max

One of life's great secrets: women don't look for handsome men, they look for men with beautiful women. — Tucker Max

His first question shows how well he knows me:
TheRoommate: Did you take any money out of her purse? — Tucker Max

Yinzer: DAMN!! I wish I had your balls! Tucker:I wish you had a breath mint, but I guess we don't always get what we wish for. — Tucker Max

Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art. — Tucker Max

The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them — Tucker Max

I think 20th century media were about tricking people - and the beauty of the Internet is you can't lie anymore. — Tucker Max

Look, I know everything is shitty right now, but if you don't stop acting like such a bitch, someones gonna fuck that pussy on your face. — Tucker Max

You can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you. — Tucker Max

Social media for the majority of companies is not about helping customers or improving products. — Tucker Max

Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another. — Tucker Max

Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party. — Tucker Max

Women always want the guy that other women want. — Tucker Max

No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second. — Tucker Max

I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there. — Tucker Max

Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences. — Tucker Max

Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with. — Tucker Max

Credit, youre jewish, your best friend is black, and your girlfriend is a cheating whore. Even if I wore gay, I'd still have it better than you. — Tucker Max

WAKE UP! WE'RE LATE FOR DRINKING!! — Tucker Max

The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me. — Tucker Max

Hey man, so can you speak to dolphins and pilot whales with that forehead of yours? — Tucker Max

I've never really had a media edifice supporting me. — Tucker Max

I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit. — Tucker Max

Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people. — Tucker Max

I hated being a lawyer and I wanted to like myself and like my job. — Tucker Max

Publishing companies are like schoolyard bullies that can't even fight well. — Tucker Max

Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me"
Tucker: "I don't understand the question. — Tucker Max

I never felt pressured to create more stories, but dealing with people became really aggravating. — Tucker Max

FK THAT. I AM TUCKER MAX. I AM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU. — Tucker Max

Usually, whatever people's particular political leaning is, they either think I'm just like them or the opposite. — Tucker Max

And that we were now those guys ... who started a fight at a Harry Potter book party. — Tucker Max

No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog. — Tucker Max

Frankly, I'd rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in the future. — Tucker Max

This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don't suffer fools well. — Tucker Max

No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff. — Tucker Max

That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen. — Tucker Max

I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did. — Tucker Max

The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't. — Tucker Max

I'm fresh out of fucks to give. — Tucker Max

Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse. — Tucker Max

Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out. — Tucker Max

Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend. — Tucker Max

She was quite promiscuous, to the point where dating her was similar to the experience of sitting on a warm toilet seat: — Tucker Max

Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much. — Tucker Max

I've heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a professor — Tucker Max

What people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you. — Tucker Max

There is always more demand for great content then there will be great content to satisfy it. — Tucker Max

Tucker "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. Please speak up. — Tucker Max

I masterbate in the shower. My action figures judge me. Especially the Justice League. — Tucker Max

At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now. — Tucker Max

Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I? — Tucker Max

Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones. — Tucker Max

Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful. — Tucker Max

I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect. — Tucker Max

I'm not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester. — Tucker Max

Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become. — Tucker Max

You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while. — Tucker Max

Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales. — Tucker Max

The haters always scream the loudest. — Tucker Max

Girl3 "You don't have to be a jerk"
SlingBlade "Quite the contrary, my sloppy penile scholar.Order me another drink and be quick about it. — Tucker Max

If your parents ignored you, or if they are just not emotionally available, or if they yell a lot, that is a type of trauma. — Tucker Max

I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off. — Tucker Max

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail. — Tucker Max

If you want to be seen as courageous by some and hated by others, just say what you really think. — Tucker Max

Opinions are projections. — Tucker Max

Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer. — Tucker Max

Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb. — Tucker Max

There is no number or level of success that would make me think, 'Wow, I didn't think that was possible.' — Tucker Max

Communication is not what we say, but what you hear (which is a lesson I wish our educational system understood) — Tucker Max

I feel like taking her money AND her soul is not cool. One or the other. — Tucker Max

The only thing that someone could say about me that would hurt me would be something that's true that I don't want to be. — Tucker Max

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for ... — Tucker Max

9:00: I don't know what I want. I just point at the Dollar Menu and say, 'Give me all of that. — Tucker Max

We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating. — Tucker Max