Too Old Funny Quotes: top 38 famous quotes about Too Old Funny

Too Old Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Too Old Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Old age is - a lot of crossed off names in an address book. — Ronald Blythe

You're never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child. — Dr. Seuss

What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard? — Bill Burr

The shooting of the guns, that was kind of funny, because rolling a cigarette and shooting a gun aren't like normal things for a 13-year old girl! — Hailee Steinfeld

Anything above 40 is a little too old for me. I just look for a girl who is funny and has nice eyes and a smile. — Justin Bieber

Funny how something that seemed so insignificant, just an old bowl with faded glazed stripes, could trigger so many memories. — Dorothea Benton Frank

It's a funny old world. Once you realize that, you're halfway there. — Maeve Binchy

The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse. — Joan Rivers

Plans?" he snorted. "I'm ninety-three years old! Who in tarnation makes plans at my age? I could stop breathin' any minute now. — Linda Howard

Don't you think you're quite young?'
'I'm twenty-one,' said Brida. 'If I wanted to start learning ballet, I'd be conseidered too old. — Paulo Coelho

I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

There was the smell of old books, a smell that has a way of making all libraries seem the same. Some say that smell is asbestos. — Scott Douglas

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. — Robert Orben

I used to laugh at that old wheeze about a man wanting his son to be better than he was, but as I get older it seems less funny and more true. — Stephen King

I'm going to do the old 'plaster removal' technique and just get the pain over with in one go: 'Life's Too Short' isn't funny to me. — Ian Watson

I got me a fine wife and I got me old fiddle, when the suns coming up I got cakes on the griddle. And life ain't nothing, but a funny, funny riddle. — John Denver

You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living. — Jim Norton

Can I fetch you something, madam? A cup of tea?'
In the old days she'd have been 'miss' and he'd have offered her a cocktail. — Sara Sheridan

Cause hearts are amazing things. They get lots bigger to make room for new people to love alongside the old people you love. -Simi — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Penard's got a secret baby!' Fifteen-year-old Richard twisted his lips up at one end. 'Maybe he has a secret wife in the attic! — Olivia Newport

Huge Jackman has divorced his wife and happened upon my picture in some old article and decided that I'm the woman for him?

~ Susan — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby". — Ronald Reagan

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy! — Henny Youngman

Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore: because he is funny rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard. — Michael Gambon

It's funny what can happen when you lay bare the heart and join the Earth's old dance through the heavens. — James Lee Burke

When it's all said and done remember, You are only as old as you look. — Mark W. Boyer

That is simply the most beautiful publishing office in the world, with that cranky old building in that wonderful park. — Jim Harrison

In my prime I could have handled Michael Jordan. Of course, he would be only 12 years old. — Jerry Sloan

I have tried ... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies. — Dylan Moran

I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.. — Drew Carey

You amaze me. You're 229 years old and that's what you think is funny. — Max Wright

It's funny how despair can soon become an old companion — Jacqueline Carey

Tradition or not, I sometimes thought putting children on an old guy's lap was already creepy enough. We didn't need to mix alcohol into it. — Richelle Mead

The thing I don't get about paedophilia ... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy? — Frankie Boyle

The funny thing about history is that we imagine that people didn't laugh in the old days, but of course they did, at stupid things. — Terry Jones

There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!' — William Cosmo Monkhouse

When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary. — Honore De Balzac

Nostalgia is heroin for old people. — Dara O Briain