This Is Funny Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about This Is Funny

This Is Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational This Is Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

You Sure this is it?" I said. "It looks empty."
"Empty? No way, there's loads of shit in there," worm replied — Ransom Riggs

I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding. — Jacques LeBlanc

This is one bar you should take home. — Eugene Ormandy

And this is the third place car about to lap the second place car. — Murray Walker

Mason left the room and then yelled from the hall, This is bullshit, cowshit, horseshit, and donkeyshit. — Madison Parker

It's funny. Of all the jobs I've been ambitious for, this is one that never crossed my mind. — Edmund S. Muskie

Cracking the Ice scores the literary equivalent of a hat-trick: funny, harrowing and finally, heartfelt. This book is a winner. — Gregory Neri

With two laps to go then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is. — Murray Walker

It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa Where's my wallet But, hey this song is funky ... — Mitch Hedberg

What really irks me is the snide victimizing suggestion from some that I have tried to be lighthearted and funny ... Oh my God - this is so offensive. — Michael Leunig

Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that ... shite. — Dylan Moran

I was, like, this token teen angst child of Broadway. It's so funny. What is that? I don't even know. But I loved it. — Jennifer Damiano

Noctis ... this is a little embarrassing, but ... your male anatomy is bothering me. — Dahlia L. Summers

This is not a dress. This is a sacred robe of the ancient psychedelic monks. — Noel Fielding

You think batting your lashes is going to get you out of this?"

"Of course not. You're a married man, detective. — M. Kane

I have this weird obsession with kids and old people falling. Like, funny falls. It is awful, but it's the thing that makes me laugh the most. — Malin Akerman

The funny thing is,' Calvin said, 'I thought I'd been breathing underwater this whole time, but I guess I've been drowning. — Shaun David Hutchinson

I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. — Tracy Morgan

Well if this is really happening, and this psycho really did kidnap us, I want food. — L. Taylor

This guy is funny. But is he safe? And how much is that worth when the world itself has ceased to exist? — Isabella Olivia Ellis

Porsche is a driver's car - a performance car. That was funny - here's this awesome car, but it's got no cup holders. — Jason McCoy

Because what you find to be beautiful, funny and heartbreaking in this world... is what I find to be beautiful, funny and heartbreaking in this world. — Yumi Sakugawa

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost. — Kristen Schaal

Hi's nose was pressed to his window. I've changed my mind, Tory. This is the perfect place to hold someone prisoner. I'm keeping this on file. — Kathy Reichs

What do you think Dimitri? Is this a good idea, Dimitri? Please give us your blessing so that we can fall down and worship you, Dimitri. — Richelle Mead

[Hollywood] is obviously so fake, but then comedy is this little carve-out of sincerity. I love it. I get to be funny and do this. — Ilana Glazer

This planet is our home. If we destroy the planet, we've destroyed our home, so it is fundamentally important. — Ross Perot

I'm sure this is a diversionary ploy. But that doesn't mean it isn't real.
-Abe Sapien — John Arcudi

Muti is going to do the Alpine Symphony this year. He will do it well because it is not very well known. — Eugene Ormandy

Life has played some funny tricks on me and taken me on a wild ride. How did I ever get into this wonderful mess that is my life? — Bo Derek

The way this country deals with drugs is just not funny. What a waste of everyone's time and effort. What a waste of a lot of people's lives. — Dave Barry

I do not understand this man," [Tempi] said. "Is he attempting to buy sex with me? Or does he wish to fight? — Patrick Rothfuss

I think it's love.'
'Funny.'
'I'm serious.'
'And your support for this is ... ?'
'A feeling.'
'You need more than that. — Doug Dorst

This stupid toaster is ruining my life! — Cole Gibsen

I feel there's a funny little hole in me that wasn't there before, like a splinter in your finger, but this is somewhere above my stomach. — Louise Fitzhugh

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her. — Kristen Schaal

Brookfield High School. How may I direct your call? No, sir, this is not a waste- disposal unit, I'm afraid you have the wrong number. — Jaclyn Moriarty

I did a radio interview; the DJ's first question was "Who are you?" I had to think. Is this guy really deep, or did I drive to the wrong station? — Mitch Hedberg

This is a long-delayed, hard-won, and badly needed victory for millions of women. — Patty Murray

I'm just going ahead and say what everyone else here is thinking.
This has got to be the weirdest fucking wedding that has ever happened. — Jessica Gadziala

"Well," said my aunt, "this is his boy - his son. He would be as like his father as it's possible to be, if he was not so like his mother, too." — Charles Dickens

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?" — Frank Carson

Hello, Miss Adler. Irene Adler. Wow," he said, his voice hushed. "This is so weird. — Colleen Gleason

Well I'll Be Damned. This is funny. — Doc Holliday

It is possible in this world to be pretty and funny and successful all at the same time. — Olivia Munn

You could be adding gasoline to a roaring fire. We understand that. But this is who we are. — Brett Brown

This is a pie chart about procrastination. — Demetri Martin

It's curtains for you, Mighty Mouse! This gun is so futuristic that even I don't know how it works! — Ralph Bakshi

COFFEE! Because this body is NOT going to wake itself up! — Tanya Masse

My first open mic, I drank a full pitcher of beer by myself. I wasn't afraid of being in front of people as much as, Is this funny? — Doug Stanhope

If you are reading this, I'm dead. Don't celebrate too much. Jesus is watching. — Katie Graykowski

This is not at all funny."
"Which is why I'm not laughing. — Dani Alexander

This shit is easy peasy, pumpkin peasy, pumpkin pie, muthafucka! — Gerard Way

Everything bleeds into everything and fiction is just this funny desperate little attempt to staunch the bleeding. — Meghan Lamb

What is this Sweet Home Alabama? You have a baby. In a bar. — Kristen Proby

The only thing you got in this world is what you can sell. And the funny thing is that you're a salesman, and you don't know that. — Arthur Miller

This is the way I want to die. Torn apart by angry fans who want me to play a different song. — Regina Spektor

Still nothing," Raven answered "This is shitty. We are going to have to invest in heat sensors. These motion detectors blow Satan's left nut. — Gabrielle Evans

Who is this repulsive dwarf? — Kim Hunter

And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn't surprising as this is an all Escort race. — Murray Walker

Jenna, standing in the doorway with her mouth and hand full of shelled pistachios, says, 'Real' is a dirty word in this place'. — Lauren DeStefano

The funny thing about having all this so-called success is that behind it is a certain horrible emptiness. — Sam Shepard

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again. — Bill Burr

Are you sure this is a good idea?' I ask.
'No,' says Amber. 'Let's do it. — Doug MacLeod

It is a fact that even warming moments overwhelm me with despair, and this is why I am I. — Morrissey

This funny thing we call love, how simple it may seem. To say it is sometimes enough but to feel it is a dream. — Raneem Kayyali

A blanket is great for covering things, like the dead guy, I just killed with this brick. — Nicole McKay

I pat her on the head. "Oh, naive little Kitten. Dear, foolish girl. This cookie is worth all this and more. Sit or you will not partake. — Jenny Han

How very wet this water is. — L. Frank Baum

Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else" — Billy Connolly

Marla said, This isn't like when guys sit backward on the toilet and pretend it's a motorcycle. This is a genuine accident. — Chuck Palahniuk

I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk louder, then!" — Mitch Hedberg

We may have been like needles in a hay stack, but they were like needles ... in a stack of needles — D.J. MacHale

You know, funny is this weird word for me. I hear is so many times it has no meaning anymore. — Bruce McCulloch

This is a free country, madam. We have a right to share your privacy in a public place. — Peter Ustinov

A robber? In the trash bins? Honestly, Wes. This is Salem Falls, not the set of Law and Order. — Jodi Picoult

Mama!' Rosie tugged on my shirt. 'This broccoli is tasty and wonderful'. — Curtis Sittenfeld

I think this whole celebrity world is weird anyway. Weird and funny and kind of pathetic and yet so right for parody. — Ben Stiller

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. — Jean Baudrillard

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. — Josh Billings

If there's a sexier sound on this planet than the person you're in love with cooing over the crepes you made for him, I don't know what it is. — Julie Powell

I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly. — Jimmy Carr

They are not grey roots! This is my new fifty shades of grey OMBRE hairstyle! — Tanya Masse

Oh, this is the most TRAGICAL thing that ever happened to me! — L.M. Montgomery

This is the only thing that has seen more parties than us. — Steven Tyler

When a baseball player makes an error, it goes into the record and is published. How many of us could stand this sort of daily scrutiny? — Sydney J. Harris

So this is why I write. Because most times, your life isn't funny the first time through. Most times, you can hardly stand it. — Chuck Palahniuk

The ballgame is over ... in this inning. — Jerry Coleman

This is the biggest damn IPod I've ever seen," Claire said, which made him choke on his beer. "Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before. — Rachel Caine

Finally, this being America, there is the constant possibility of murder. — Bill Byrson

Eddie Drake is sort of this loose cannon, funny, edgy guy, who has this really foolish, foolish mustache. — Lee Tergesen

Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway? — Dave Chappelle

You know, there are just some things you never expect to face even on this job. A flying primate that shoots fire out its nose is one of them. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't? — Paul Merton

This is America. We're entitled to our opinions."
"Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

This is not how people behave in a Cracker Barrel! — Molly Harper

Is that the biggest favor your vocal cords have done to anyone this week? — Pawan Mishra

This is L.A. You wanna learn Spanish? Take the bus. — George Lopez

So, deadpan I think just means not acknowledging for one second that you think that this is funny and clever. — Patrick Warburton

This is a young man who is only 25, and you have to say, her has answered every question that has ever been asked. — David Coleman