The Best Funny Friend Quotes: top 42 famous quotes about The Best Funny Friend

The Best Funny Friend Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational The Best Funny Friend quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

The best time to make friends is
before you need them. — Ethel Barrymore

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. — Erma Bombeck

My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but ... what a dork. — Demetri Martin

I'm friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I'm 1 degree away from 212 degrees. — Ryan Lilly

A mother is the best friend God ever gave. — Christian Nestell Bovee

I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause. — Dave Barry

I just killed my best friend ... and my worst enemy. What's the difference? — Christian Slater

The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend or by fiend, by prayer or by wine. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't do it gurl," he said with a wink. "You need to pretend like that phone is your best friend's husband's dick now drop it. — Ethan Day

Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried. — Charles Caleb Colton

It reminds me how funny living in LA can be; You go to a friend's barbecue and you leave the face of Victoria Beckham's look book. — Alice Greczyn

I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter. — Jim Carrey

I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb. — Russell Howard

Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth. — Jon Foreman

It was funny how one afternoon with a best friend could set a girl right. — Libba Bray

I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt." — Mitch Hedberg

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend. — Edward De Bono

Life is so much friendlier with two. — A.A. Milne

Without friends the world is but a wilderness. — Francis Bacon

It's funny, but if I had to say whom I'm closer to, who knows me better, I'd have a hard time choosing between my husband and my best friend. — Nancy Thayer

I guess it was what my friend Phoolendu at the yoga studio would call kismet. That's like fate, but much more dramatic. — Robin Palmer

That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men — Bill Engvall

The first time someone asked me if I was pregnant, I was eating friend cheese at the Summit County Fair — Olive B. Persimmon

It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell. — George Herbert

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it. — Jimmy Carr

You Too? I thought I was the only one. — C.S. Lewis

Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth. — Rebecca Brooks

It's funny how you can know a person, think of him as your closest friend, and still never gain access to the secret chambers in his heart. — Jennifer Finney Boylan

A friend in need is a friend to be avoided. — Samuel Hall Lord

Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex minus reason — Mason Cooley

I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper. — Mitch Hedberg

There's no better friend than a sister ... — Mary Engelbreit

We all have that one friend that walks into your home like its their home — Thabang Gideon Magaola

He hasn't an enemy in the world, and none of his friend like him. — Oscar Wilde

Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore. — Wavy Gravy

I realized I'd only seen him at night in dim, flattering restaurant lighting. The sun was not his friend. — Augusten Burroughs

Friends are what God gives you to make up for your family. — Bruce White

My Scottie refused to go for a walk with a friend of the house, but she would joyously accompany any stranger who drove a car. — Mazo De La Roche

Here. There. Everywhere." He leered at his friend. "Thinking about you and Moira's
underwear. — Dana Marie Bell

I hate it in friends when they come too late to help. — Euripides

Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter. — Gelett Burgess

My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts. — Demetri Martin