The Best Funny Birthday Quotes

Collection of top 25 famous quotes about The Best Funny Birthday

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The Best Funny Birthday Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational The Best Funny Birthday quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' — Larry David
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram. — Steven Wright
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire. — Rodney Dangerfield
Congratulations to your mom and dad for birth of a sweet child!

Sorry that I couldn't wish them when you were born. — Hasil Paudyal
You control your own wins and losses. — Maria Sharapova
Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK. — Steven Wright
On this special Fathers Day, we'd like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday. — Ralph Kiner
She gave him a wink which would have got a younger woman jailed. — Terry Pratchett
I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!" — Jimmy Carr
Some of us have resolved to escape into drunkenness before the sleep takes us. — Neil Gaiman
She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder for? "IDENTITY THEFT!!". — Russell Howard
Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday ... He would say, 'Keep it sweet and short and don't try to be funny.' — Bob Hope
He poured himself a glass of whiskey. And another. And another. Not enough to get stinking drunk, just enough to make him overly contemplative. — Julia Quinn
If the last to know he's an addict is the addict, then maybe the last to know when a man means what he says is the man himself, he reflected. — Philip K. Dick
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. — Will Rogers
Act your age, not your shoe size. — Prince
Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen. — Jim Gaffigan
The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet. — Robert Orben
Better to have to retrace your steps and then move forward than never to move forward at all. — Anne Burack Sayre
Selfishness is one of the most destructive forces in man that is why life demands for its death. — Sunday Adelaja
I'm a medical doctor and a biomedical scientist. — Steven Hatfill
Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday. — Andy Borowitz
While most people
converse it all away
I
write it down. — Charles Bukowski
I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it. — Eva Gabor
A man who views the world the same ... — Muhammad Ali

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