Store Humor Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about Store Humor

Store Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Store Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store. — George Carlin

The presence of a firearm makes us all safer. — Wayne LaPierre

My father was an actor, and we have the most important theatre company in Montreal. — Gilles Duceppe

Consummate talent and relentless passion - The Truth ain't pretty ... but it rocks like crazy! — Billy Squier

Above all, tell the truth. — Grover Cleveland

Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store i just flip to the about the author section. I'm like, "Done, next!" — Demetri Martin

So you're saying the afterlife is hard on the libido? FYI, that's probably not a good bullet point for your recruiting brochure. — Rachel Vincent

Nobody ever goes to that store to shop because it's too crowded. — Sol Luckman

The space you have is always a little less than the amount of stuff you need to store.

- Jason's Fourth Law — Jason Dias

You'd have been scared too if that big troglodyte had put his hands on you. He smelled like dirty socks and store brand cola. Chet Andrews — Aaron Crabill

If I hired one of the stock boys to chase me around the store with a licorice whip, I'd be thin by Christmas. — Jennette Fulda

I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? — Steven Wright

We need to save the forests. I have a big warehouse we can store them in. — Bauvard

I just knew that God wasn't there. He was a man on a throne in Heaven, so he was easy to forget. — Frances Farmer

I mean. You put puppies in a store front, I will stop and giddily stare. Every. Single. Time. — Christy Hall

I went to a tent store. "What kind of tent do you need?" "Circus." — Mitch Hedberg

To see in the dark, close your eyes. — J.R. Rim

It's madness really that society expects a newly bereaved person to jump through so many hoops. — Nick Alexander

I don't like him." Looking from Kale to Alex, Ginger said, "I don't like cabbage. Do you see me taking on the produce section of the food store? — Jus Accardo

Not a Harvard-type education, ... Just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education. — Chris Rock

Never go shopping for kiwis in a shoe store. — Karen Salmansohn

Chance encounters are often the routes through which opportunities manifest themselves. — Ashwin Sanghi

Dating should really be more like furniture store commercials ... I would love to' pay no interest for 6 months — Josh Stern

I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars. — Steven Wright

I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" I answered, "It's a Boys." — Mitch Hedberg

I suffer from CLAUSTROPHOBIA, a fear of closed spaces.For example, I'm petrified that the WINE store will be closed before I have time to get there!!! — Tanya Masse

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. — Mitch Hedberg

I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle." — Mitch Hedberg

The future never comes. Life is always now. — Eckhart Tolle

I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk louder, then!" — Mitch Hedberg