Smirnoff Quotes
Collection of top 44 famous quotes about Smirnoff
Smirnoff Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Smirnoff quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
— Yakov Smirnoff
No guy in the history of America has ordered a Smirnoff Ice at a bar without hating himself a little.
— Jay Black
On the coffee table is a half-empty bottle of Smirnoff's and two cans of NutraSlim. High tea in hell, he thinks, but
— Stephen King
If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
— Yakov Smirnoff
There's depth in my comedy.
— Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
— Yakov Smirnoff
I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world.
— Yakov Smirnoff
If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
— Yakov Smirnoff
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
— Yakov Smirnoff
Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses ... " That's it.
— Yakov Smirnoff
It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
— Yakov Smirnoff
The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
— Yakov Smirnoff
People in Tulsa are totally friendly; the crowds are very nice.
— Yakov Smirnoff
I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
— Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
— Yakov Smirnoff
When you like something, you find time to do it.
— Yakov Smirnoff
I fed my ego, but not my soul.
— Yakov Smirnoff
So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
— Jon Stewart
Never having alone time is real tough on people.
— Yakov Smirnoff
I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
— Yakov Smirnoff
In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
— Yakov Smirnoff
Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
— Yakov Smirnoff
I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
— Yakov Smirnoff
Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
— Yakov Smirnoff
In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
— Yakov Smirnoff
We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
— Yakov Smirnoff
I did a show called 'What A Country,' with Yakov Smirnoff and Don Knotts. I used to write jokes for Yakov's stand-up act.
— Mike Scully
I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
— Yakov Smirnoff
Its better to be second while everyone is saying You should have been first than be first when everyone says You should be second.
— Karina Smirnoff
In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.
— Yakov Smirnoff
In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
— Yakov Smirnoff
Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That's why you need a strong line of communication ... which includes laughter.
— Yakov Smirnoff
To my real estate agent, Chernobyl is a fixer-upper.
— Yakov Smirnoff
Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
— Yakov Smirnoff
Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
— Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
— Yakov Smirnoff
In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
— Yakov Smirnoff