Short Humor Quotes
Collection of top 72 famous quotes about Short Humor
Short Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Short Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
You can take the barbarian out of the tavern, but he can take the blood out of your body.
— Greg X. Graves
Another family crisis: The rabbit goes blind.
— Jacob M. Appel
I almost short her once or twice, but the excitement ends there.
— Becca Fitzpatrick
I believe that because I had obtained a wife who was made up of wife-signs (beauty, charm, softness, perfume, cookery) I had found love.
— Donald Barthelme
I wax poeticOn the beauty of sewers
Real short poem. Done — Rick Riordan
Do short people reach their full potential quicker?
— Benny Bellamacina
Life is too short to give a fuck. Jump in the pool butt ass naked and do it up.
— Richard P. Denney
Trust her; we girls are two sheets short of psycho when it comes to our special little time.
— Sandi Lynn
Life's too short, drive it like ya stole it!
— Debra L. Hartmann
A sermon should be like a woman's dress. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep your attention.
— J. Golden Kimball
Eden," Cyrus snapped bringing her back to the present. "I have a sword pointed at you. Will you please focus
— Samantha Young
I try to make my comments like a woman's skirt: long enough to be respectable and short enough to be interesting.
— Adam Clayton Powell III
And for the record, I'm not short! I'm space-efficient.
— C.T. Oliver
He's one fry short of a Happy Meal.
— Rush Limbaugh
Will Cato's alien buddies come en masse and invade Earth? He's not sure but he'll try to keep humanity in the loop.
— John Hopkins
A short life and a merry one at that!
— Bartholomew Roberts
Ty is green but never with envy. Best of all, he's usually available to help move a heavy piece of furniture.
— John Hopkins
I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?
— Eoin Colfer
Suspense is very important. Even though this is humor and they're short stories, that theory of building suspense is still there.
— Sergio Aragones
Life is too short to skip the sprinkles.
— Pandora Spocks
Bentley is a good bee with a shaky sense of direction and an appetite for mayhem. Just don't call him a drone. He hates that.
— John Hopkins
Unaware that he is only interested in the presumed parched pucker in her pants, she is more than happy to give him her phone number.
— Curtis Ackie
Short people have long faces, and long people have short faces. Big people have little humor, and little people have no humor at all.
— Donald O'Connor
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
— Ellen DeGeneres
Life is short unless agony is long.
— Brian Spellman
Listen, last time I talked to you three, you were all two oars short of having any oars, so I don't want to hear it.
— James Riley
This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track.
— Erin Mitchell
Only criminals and madmen walk into Central Park after midnight...or, occasionally, an actor. (Dark City Lights)
— Jane Dentinger
I don't know why it is, Captain Short, but whenever you start agreeing with me, I get decidedly nervous.
— Eoin Colfer
I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby.
— Criss Jami
When do you bleed a patient?"The question brought me up short. "When I want him to die?" I asked dubiously. — Patrick Rothfuss
Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor!
— Christina Scalise
(On her son) I've met writer's block. He is short, diapered and keeps unplugging my laptop. Good news: he can be conquered with a bottle and a nap.
— Cyrese Covelli
I'm so glad I put a hot, naked guy on my Christmas wish list. I just didn't think Santa would actually deliver one.
— Patricia W. Fischer
Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.
— Ellen DeGeneres
One thing I have always been is too short. It's adorable when you're in junior high. After that, it's a pain in the ass for the rest of your life.
— Elizabeth Berg
Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.
— Jasper Fforde
You know Dahmer was a cannibal. You think he was a zombie?"Tom smirked. "I'm no expert, but not all cannibals are zombies. — H.D. Timmons
Why would I draw the short straw?
— Kresley Cole
I'm actually writing a short story about a photographer who went completely insane trying to take a close up photo of the horizon.
— Steven Wright
Life is way too short to get lost, so follow the script the way it comes and keep changing the checkpoints on every page.
— Neetesh Dixit
I thought I was in love, but it was only a head cold. (Humans)
— Robert Emmett
Free from ivory-towerthe pencil twirls
across the footpath — Santosh Kalwar
The dimple in his left cheek was ironic-it gave the impression that he was sweet as a cupcake. (Dark City Lights)
— Elaine Kagan
Ordinarily, anyone who made such a remark to my face would go to the top of my short list for strychnine.
— Alan Bradley
Winnie, don't you ever think you're selling yourself short?""Nope. Never. I'm really good at picking quality dick. — Elizabeth Brown
If a writer writes poems and short stories and novels, but nobody ever reads them, is she really a writer?
— Jennifer Weiner
He was a gentle and sensitive soul, and therefore had a short temper, which is why he went straight after everything with an ax ...
— Bohumil Hrabal
You're driving me fucking crazy!""There's a short trip! — Abigail Roux
Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee.
— Jerry Coleman
Life it too short to deal with crazy people.
— Karen E. Quinones Miller
May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch
— Keisha Keenleyside
I got the sneaking suspicion that the vampire was a couple of Peeps short of an Easter basket.
— Jim Butcher
Lost Cactus is simply an urban myth.
— John Hopkins