Seinfeld's Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Seinfeld's

Seinfeld's Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Seinfeld's quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I think of myself more as a sportsman than I do an artist. — Jerry Seinfeld

You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive. — Jerry Seinfeld

The greatest Jewish tradition is to laugh. The cornerstone of Jewish survival has always been to find humor in life and in ourselves. — Jerry Seinfeld

The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say. — Jerry Seinfeld

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. JERRY SEINFELD — Christopher Ryan

I only do a show when there's somebody I want to talk to. — Jerry Seinfeld

See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them. — Jerry Seinfeld

If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years. — Jerry Seinfeld

My theory is 98 percent of all human endeavor is killing time. — Jerry Seinfeld

And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman. — Jerry Seinfeld

The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance. — Jerry Seinfeld

There are more social skills required to talk one-on-one [than to an audience]. You don't have to be socially fluid to talk to two thousand people. — Jerry Seinfeld

I watch sitcoms like Seinfeld, and here's a newsflash, but what a great show. — Scott Wolf

Sex, that's meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that's heavy. That's like an hour. — Jerry Seinfeld

Ask not what I can do for you. Ask what you can do for me — Jerry Seinfeld

I didn't know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it's a musical. — Jerry Seinfeld

A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help. — Jerry Seinfeld

There is no community service in 'Seinfeld.' But rather than lauding that, I think it shows the insane banality of it. — Jason Alexander

A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence. — Jerry Seinfeld

There's a tremendous power and energy in sharing your life with another person. — Jerry Seinfeld

Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise. — Jerry Seinfeld

The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets ... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman. — Jerry Seinfeld

No, no. It's not your fault. Books, books, I need my books. Have you re-read those books yet, by the way? - Jerry — Seinfeld

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire — Jerry Seinfeld

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. — Jerry Seinfeld

I've compiled a book from the Internet. It's a book of quotations attributed to the wrong people. — Jerry Seinfeld

Our good time is sitting in a coffee shop with a newspaper, writing a line on the back of a napkin. That is the most fun comedians ever have — Jerry Seinfeld

When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options. — Jerry Seinfeld

If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. — Jerry Seinfeld

We sold 'Seinfeld' all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it. — Jerry Seinfeld

You could go to Estonia and there's probably an episode of 'Seinfeld' playing there. Television is a very powerful thing. — Yul Vazquez

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to. — Jerry Seinfeld

Ever noticed that no matter what happens in one day, it exactly fits in the newspaper? — Jerry Seinfeld

All magic is 'Here's a quarter, now it's gone. You're a jerk. Now it's back. You're an idiot. Show's over.' — Jerry Seinfeld

You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out. — Jerry Seinfeld

The worst way of flying, I think, is standby. It never works. That's why they call it standby. You end up standing there going, 'Bye!' — Jerry Seinfeld

Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it. — Jerry Seinfeld

I like money, but it's never been about the money. — Jerry Seinfeld

Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner. — Jerry Seinfeld

Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work. — Jerry Seinfeld

I've never seen 'Friends;' I've never seen 'Seinfeld.' I've heard people reference these things but I've never seen them. — Moby

Jary, Garge, Elane and Daved Pady emerge from the Lamborgini Veneno like sad clown's from the SICKEST clown car ever. — Seinfeld 2000

I'm not really in touch with those 'Seinfeld' lads except Jason Alexander. — Wayne Knight

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law. — Jerry Seinfeld

I feel like humor is the answer to everything. If you have a little bit of humor in the shaker and you can sprinkle that on, that's your answer. — Jerry Seinfeld

[Comedian Jerry Seinfeld was nominated for a Grammy for his spoken-word children's album] Halloween ... Don't Give Up on Me. — Jamie Lee Curtis

In terms of 'Seinfeld', I think there's lot of reality in a show that's supposed to be about nothing. — Wale

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving. — Jerry Seinfeld

You know how your charger for your phone? It's like if you had a charger for your whole body and mind — Jerry Seinfeld

Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it's a relic, — Jerry Seinfeld

Celebrity is no different from any other energy. It's a force for good or evil. It's no different from money. It's power. — Jerry Seinfeld

I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team. — Jerry Seinfeld

There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. — Jerry Seinfeld

I look at Seinfeld - he looks like he's having fun. He's just enjoying being Jerry Seinfeld, you know, on 'Seinfeld.' — Jerrod Carmichael

You see, that's the true spirit of Christmas: people being helped by people other than me. — Jerry Seinfeld

The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it. — Jerry Seinfeld

It s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. — Jerry Seinfeld

What's the deal with Ovaltine? It comes in a round container, you put it in a round glass, why don't they call it Roundtine? — Jerry Seinfeld

I've been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It's just something I'm very aware of. — Jerry Seinfeld

It's shrinkage! Hasn't she heard of shrinkage? -George Costanza, Seinfeld — Genna Rulon

There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations. — Jerry Seinfeld

It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. — Jerry Seinfeld

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end. — Jerry Seinfeld

Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers. — Jerry Seinfeld

The big advantage of a book is that it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning. — Jerry Seinfeld

What's the point of dating without games? How do you know if you're winning or losing? — Jerry Seinfeld

There's no way that moving in with your parents is a sign that your life is on track. — Jerry Seinfeld

Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters. — Jerry Seinfeld

I like any cereal. I like the idea of just eating and drinking with one hand without looking. — Jerry Seinfeld

He'd never seen Seinfeld, so he didn't know who Puddy was or anything. — Patrick Warburton

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. — Jerry Seinfeld

I sold my house to Jerry Seinfeld. — Billy Joel

I'm no Jerry Seinfeld. I wasn't raised with some backyard with a creek and trees and all that. — Tracy Morgan

Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid. — Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld has an interesting theory. He goes, '20 pounds up or down, and you lose your funny.' — Jason Alexander

The only way a show works is you find people who you think are qualified and talented and you give them a chance to do what they do. — Jerry Seinfeld

I can't eat chicken and look at strippers at the same time. — Jerry Seinfeld

When you interrupt, you've stopped listening. People need to be heard. — Jerry Seinfeld

I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge. — Jerry Seinfeld

Why does McDonald's have to count every burger that they sell? What is their ultimate goal? Do they want cows to surrender voluntarily? — Jerry Seinfeld

I don't return fruit. Fruit's a gamble. I know that going in. — Jerry Seinfeld

That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity. — Jerry Seinfeld

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? — Jerry Seinfeld

I mean, she's giving and caring and genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that. — Jerry Seinfeld

When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself. — Jerry Seinfeld

I was young enough to certainly realize the excitement of how popular 'Seinfeld' was. — Tim DeKay

Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this? — Jerry Seinfeld

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965. — Jerry Seinfeld

I admire the hell out of her. You can't have sex with someone you admire. — Jerry Seinfeld

These pretzels are making me thirsty! — Jerry Seinfeld

Actually, I think that 'Seinfeld' tackles the same kinds of issues as 'Six Feet Under,' just in a different way. — Bruce Eric Kaplan

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away. — Jerry Seinfeld

I remember when I got a part on 'Seinfeld' it was like an out of body experience, I was so excited. — Sarah Silverman

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. — Jerry Seinfeld

I'll tell you one thing, since I'm married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me. — Jerry Seinfeld

It takes up enough of my time and interest just working on comedy. I just enjoy it and love doing it. — Jerry Seinfeld

If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach? — Jerry Seinfeld

To a guy like me, a laugh is full of information. — Jerry Seinfeld

There's nothing more fun than entertaining kids. — Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld made a puddle, I stepped in it, and wonderful things happened. — Jason Alexander