Saget Quotes: top 70 famous quotes about Saget

Saget Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Saget quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

It's a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is - reading the news or speaking to people. — Bob Saget

Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable? — Bob Saget

Beautiful clear day in Beverly Hills. The sweet smell of Botox is in the air. — Bob Saget

Most people argue over who's right, not about what the truth is. — Bob Saget

The greatness of a man is only measured by his urologist. — Bob Saget

Bob Saget is the dirtiest comic who's ever lived. Nobody touches him. — Penn Jillette

Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me. — Bob Saget

I really love making people laugh. — Bob Saget

A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it. — Bob Saget

And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You'd be nervous too if you knew that one day you'd get your head cut off and ... filled with stuffing. — Bob Saget

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward. — Bob Saget

I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club. — Bob Saget

I'm a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts? — Bob Saget

My mom just told me it's impossible to know what's going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day. — Bob Saget

My wife is a saint. She's Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won't eat. — Bob Saget

If 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,' how do you explain zombies? — Bob Saget

Kindness isn't just a virtue, its a necessity. — Bob Saget

Nobody can tell me what I can or can't do, except they can. — Bob Saget

When you're famous, you're always famous. It doesn't go away. — Bob Saget

My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars? — Bob Saget

I don't like to drink alone 'cause there's nobody to fight with. — Bob Saget

People do what they do to each other and they feed on it. — Bob Saget

It's okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people. — Bob Saget

There are no I's in we but there are two i's in Wii. — Bob Saget

A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one! — Bob Saget

No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers. — Bob Saget

If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine. — Bob Saget

I never expected to live this long. — Bob Saget

One of the first things I said when I signed on for the show was No hugs! Full House was all based on hugs. — Bob Saget

Everyone I love I pay. — Bob Saget

I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses. — Bob Saget

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they're both in my car and I want you to see them — Bob Saget

Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don't eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse? — Bob Saget

Around comics, I've always been known for, oh, that's not dirty, this is dirty. — Bob Saget

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public. — Bob Saget

I was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman's face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce ... I thought he was missing. — Bob Saget

My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape. — Bob Saget

My confidence wavers between being genuine and being insecure. — Bob Saget

It's smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself. — Bob Saget

Concerned we're in a time where politicians can't even fake sincerity. Aren't they supposed to be good at that? — Bob Saget

Bob Saget is the bear from the Golden Crisp box. — King Tuff

What I've learned about comedy people is that they're defined by the harshest level they've been to, their personal Auschwitz. — Bob Saget

I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either. — Bob Saget

The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood. — Bob Saget

I become a chameleon for wherever I am. — Bob Saget

Some dead people said smart stuff. — Bob Saget

You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you. — Bob Saget

If you go with Marshall McLuhan's theory that the medium is the message, as soon as you're hosting a blooper show, you're done. — Bob Saget

If you're hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person? — Bob Saget

Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter. — Bob Saget

Valuable people are undervalued. — Bob Saget

My favorite Dylan song? I think it's 'Just Like a Woman.' It always makes me cry. — Bob Saget

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy. — Bob Saget

Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow. — Bob Saget

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed. — Bob Saget

I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts. — Bob Saget

I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don't want to make fun of people. — Bob Saget

As time goes on, the more I value doctors and plumbers. Doctors a little more. I can fix my own toilet but I still can't operate on myself. — Bob Saget

My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby. — Bob Saget

Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn't even offer us water. Well they did, but it was Holy water. — Bob Saget

Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business. — Bob Saget

Apparently my street has a leaf blower gang who tag team all day, so the sounds of the leaf blower are forever blowing from dawn to dusk. — Bob Saget

What do you do if you're in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors? — Bob Saget

Words matter. Especially if you're kicking someone's ass in words with friends. — Bob Saget

Found a bunch of old shower caps in my house. Was gonna throw them out but realized they make excellent porta potties for long road trips. — Bob Saget

It's so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers. — Bob Saget

I'm fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin. — Bob Saget

Sometimes I wish I hadn't said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime. — Bob Saget

A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked. — Bob Saget

I love my mom! You can too for $12! — Bob Saget