Running Funny Quotes: top 65 famous quotes about Running Funny

Running Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Running Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone. — John Madden

As soon as I arrive at the house, Laurie starts running, hits my chest, knocks me down, and licks my face. It's become a family ritual. — Beverly Sills

My one goal when I started was not to actually vomit on TV or run away. — Kate McKinnon

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. — Groucho Marx

It was a running joke; everyone was aware of how ridiculous the rumor mill was, and yet they all shamelessly participated in it. — Jamie McGuire

That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures. — Jerry Coleman

He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light. — Yogi Berra

The last time Pena faced the Padres, the Dodgers scratched for a run to tie the game and then went on to win 4-0. — Jerry Coleman

If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final. — Cyndi Lauper

Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning. — Jerry Coleman

Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot! — Rodney Dangerfield

The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything. — Bob Hope

When I'm at home alone, I run up the stairs naked. It's quite funny. — Louis Tomlinson

It was 10:30 in the morning and I was already running behind. This is hardly unusual, but it pisses me off every single time. — Julie Powell

Or, as Nikolas had said, in tones of admiration, She can tell you to go to hell in a way that will send you running of to pack your bags. — Mercedes Lackey

Trample the weak. Hurdle the dead. — Attila The Hun

Sorry I'm late, Ms. Egami said to the class. She dropped her papers, which scattered in that special way papers do when one is running late. — Adam Rex

Rick Miller hit only one home run last year, and that's like hitting none. — Jerry Coleman

A run is more difficult to make than no save, because batting is in its nature a far less certain and reliable thing than bowling and fielding. — Ranjitsinhji

Here's a guy who when he runs, he moves faster. — John Madden

Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500. — Jerry Coleman

Every man is important if he loses his life;and every man is funny if he loses his hat and has to run after it. — Gilbert K. Chesterton

I always thought that my canine family tended to view me as the funny-looking two-legged dog who runs the can opener. — Roger Caras

The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials. — Mark Twain

Running a ball club is like raising kids who fall out of trees. — Tom Trebelhorn

Phones are only good for ordering pizza and telling someone you're running late — Amy Reed

Keep running after a dog and he will never bite you. — Francois Rabelais

She hasn't run faster than herself before — Zola Budd

He had on a funny T-shirt, as usual. Today's featured acartoon figure running from a giant T. rex, and it read EXERCISE: SOME MOTIVATIONREQUIRED. — Rachel Caine

Whenever I'm running an hour late for for work, it always makes me feel better when I can leave an hour early at the end of the day to make up for it. — Mark W. Boyer

I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns. — Bob Hope

Pete (Rose) doesn't run with celebrities and he can't stand the phonies. His big buddy in LA ain't Sinatra, it's a funny old groundskeeper. — Sparky Anderson

Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid. — George Carlin

Don't call 'em dogs. Dogs are loyal and they run after balls. — Louise Brown

Apparently the part of the brain that identified things as funny kept running as a background process even when its contributions were useless. — Neal Stephenson

You know, If you weren't tiny, cute and remarkably innocent looking I'd be running away right now. This feels like the set-up to some torture porn. — Stephanie Perkins

That's the fastest time ever run - but it's not as fast as the world record — David Coleman

Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to do. — Doug Stanhope

It's hard for a man to turn down sex ... if they chase us, we can't run that fast. — Chris Rock

I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over. — Milton Jones

To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run. — Milton Jones

When I was growing up we didn't have a massive house and there were five women running around, so my dad and I had to stick together! — Louis Tomlinson

I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!' — Chris Rock

It's not funny. I've got a naked drunk vampire running around in my orchard. — Ilona Andrews

If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out. — Mitch Hedberg

If we (Lauren and Jim) ever get married, we're just going to put helmets on, run into each other from a hundred yards, and smash together like rams — Jim Carrey

It might be funny when you get hit by a car, but not when you get run over by one. — Rob Campbell

I bowl so slowly that if I don't like a ball I can run after it and bring it back — James M. Barrie

I just finished running, and I look and smell like nothing very pleasant. Why, oh, why did he have to bump into me now? — Abigail Owen

Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher I ever saw. He always pitches when the other team doesn't score any runs. — Tim McCarver

So? I know lots of beautiful women. Nova wanted to chase ... I merely obliged her by running. — D.D. Chant

It sometimes takes days, even weeks, before a dog's nerves tire. In the case of terriers it can run into months. — E.B. White

On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free man. — Jim Davidson

I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something. — Jon Stewart

A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, "Should I spike myself?" — Lefty Gomez

That home run ties it up, 1-0. — Jerry Coleman

The defense should be expecting a run or a pass here. — John Madden

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting. — Finley Peter Dunne

I don't know (if they were men or women running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads. — Yogi Berra

Jesse is a good guy, although I don't understand the infatuation with the spandex he is always running around in. — Holly Hood

Coe has smashed the world record, 1:44.92 seconds has never been run easier — Ron Pickering

[W]ithout humour you cannot run a sweetie-shop, let alone a nation. — John Buchan

Wiping the rivulet of sweat running down my ear with the bottom of my muscle shirt, I snuck a sniff under my pit. Whoa. Kill a moose — Julie Anne Peters

Ricewind had always relied on running away. But somerimes, perhaps, you had to stand and fight, if only because there was nowhere left to run. — Terry Pratchett

I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone. — Elayne Boosler