Roseanne Barr Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Roseanne Barr quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Laugh every day as much as you can. — Roseanne Barr

I think I should be here alone to rethink the world - I do. I want these lesser humans gone. — Roseanne Barr

I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money. — Roseanne Barr

I was not raised a Zionist, but a socialist, as were most Jews before the Holocaust. — Roseanne Barr

Do you have any idea how attractive you are?
Well, I'm better than roseanne Barr, I suppose. — Lucy Robinson

I loved work and I loved pouring myself into the work, you know. It was the real life that I had trouble with. — Roseanne Barr

The fact that my grown kids like to hang out with me, I mean, it just - I don't think it really can get any better than that, I don't think. — Roseanne Barr

My children love me. I'm like the mother they never had. — Roseanne Barr

You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.' — Roseanne Barr

Women are cursed, and men are the proof. — Roseanne Barr

Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce. — Roseanne Barr

Don't call people names you dirty name caller you. — Roseanne Barr

We're not meant to be parents when we're 50. — Roseanne Barr

You know what, when I was thin, I thought there was a fat girl trying to get out of me. — Roseanne Barr

You're only seventeen, you're too young to have a meatloaf recipe ... go get something pierced. — Roseanne Barr

Truth is available to the ears that can hear it. — Roseanne Barr

If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn't going to be much fun. — Roseanne Barr

I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with. — Roseanne Barr

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. — Roseanne Barr

Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here? — Roseanne Barr

Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error.. — Roseanne Barr

I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine. — Roseanne Barr

Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate. — Roseanne Barr

Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house. — Roseanne Barr

When I was little, that was one thing that I was told in a vision: I was going to have my own show when I grew up. And it's going to be funny. — Roseanne Barr

Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a California condor. — Roseanne Barr

Honestly, a lot of the human etiquette I learned in life I learned from, like, thank-you notes and dating Jimmy Kimmel. — Roseanne Barr

I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities. — Roseanne Barr

You can't break through Hollywood formulaic points of view. I've tried, and I think I was more successful than anybody at doing it. — Roseanne Barr

Excuse the mess, but we live here. — Roseanne Barr

I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference. — Roseanne Barr

I believe in equal rights for all citizens. One law for all. — Roseanne Barr

I'm not a politician. I think that uniquely qualifies me to become president of the U.S. — Roseanne Barr

The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics. — Roseanne Barr

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel. — Roseanne Barr

Your body is your instrument, you play it expertly. — Roseanne Barr

I was completely nuts for most of my life. — Roseanne Barr

I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful. — Roseanne Barr

US needs to fix up it's election system so that votes are fairly counted, and the Electoral College is removed. — Roseanne Barr

Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy. — Roseanne Barr

I gave Joss Whedon and Judd Apatow their first writing jobs, as well as many other untried writers who went on to great success. — Roseanne Barr

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house. — Roseanne Barr

I try to tell people to keep having hope. It's always what you don't know and don't expect that's gonna be so great. — Roseanne Barr

I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver. — Roseanne Barr

I survived my childhood by birthing many separate identities to stand in for one another in times of great stress and fear. — Roseanne Barr

You kind of restructure your whole personality to be in a healthy relationship. — Roseanne Barr

There's nothing like a hardship song to set my toes a-tappin. — Roseanne Barr

I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job. — Roseanne Barr

Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to. — Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr ~Jessica~ — Penny Reid

The real truth is, I just want to keep the voice of dissent alive in all of our elections. I don't really want to hang out with politicians. — Roseanne Barr

I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas. — Roseanne Barr

Being nuts is its own reward. — Roseanne Barr

I don't really want to hang out with politicians. I'd rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200. — Roseanne Barr

Once you get away from wanting to get paid, you can actually say some true things. — Roseanne Barr

It's the Night of the Living Dead. It's scary out here. — Roseanne Barr

I'm God because I have the power to control my mind. — Roseanne Barr

Abortion is a woman's right. — Roseanne Barr

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact. — Roseanne Barr

A lot of men are impotent and it's very sad. How many of you are impotent? I see. Can't get your arms up either? — Roseanne Barr

Here is my personal opinion about prostitution. If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't have to pay for it. — Roseanne Barr

I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah. — Roseanne Barr

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive? — Roseanne Barr

I can't have cats around me because they try to steal my energy. — Roseanne Barr

Diets are a temporary solution to a permanent problem. — Roseanne Barr

My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it. — Roseanne Barr

My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes. — Roseanne Barr

I'm a heterosexual. I don't know why I'm like this. I was just born this way. — Roseanne Barr

And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny. — Roseanne Barr

You can always get better. Nobody can stop you from getting better, and nobody can stop you from trying to make something right. — Roseanne Barr

Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time. — Roseanne Barr

My husband is almost as heavy as I am. We were married in adjoining churches. — Roseanne Barr

We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are. — Roseanne Barr

I signed a deal with Satan because I wanted to get famous. Then I forgot I had a deal with Satan and then I got really famous. — Roseanne Barr

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow. — Roseanne Barr

My real life is funnier than anything on TV. — Roseanne Barr

I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them. — Roseanne Barr

Two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy. — Roseanne Barr

The most out-there thing I'm saying is, 'Don't have babies. Don't get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that. — Roseanne Barr

As Prime Minister of Israel, I will introduce a bill into the Knesset that will simply pay the Arabs not to shoot at the Jews. — Roseanne Barr

There isn't any New Man. The New Man is the old man, only he whines more. — Roseanne Barr

Nobody wanted the 'Roseanne' show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family. — Roseanne Barr

A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer. — Roseanne Barr

I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.' — Roseanne Barr

To expect life to treat you good is foolish as hoping a bull won't hit you because you are a vegetarian. — Roseanne Barr

Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint. — Roseanne Barr

You must never be afraid in New York City, because then you will call bad stuff to you and you will not like it there. — Roseanne Barr

I figure when my husband comes home from work, if the kids are still alive, then I've done my job. — Roseanne Barr

I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say 'Fine - how was your lobotomy?' — Roseanne Barr

You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps. — Roseanne Barr

As long as your abuser has you scared, you will stay in the cycle of abuse. Thinking of solutions helps you to escape. — Roseanne Barr

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it. — Roseanne Barr

Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians. — Roseanne Barr

I remember performing on a punk stage with no mic in the middle of a mosh pit. My act was called "How to Be a Domestic Goddess." — Roseanne Barr

One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa. — Roseanne Barr

Suddenly, people had three phone numbers but never answered their phones. — Roseanne Barr

Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles. — Roseanne Barr

I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out. — Roseanne Barr

The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered. — Johnny Carson

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight. — Roseanne Barr