Notaro Quotes: top 38 famous quotes about Notaro

Notaro Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Notaro quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I love Tig Notaro; I just think she's so awesome. — Kate Flannery

I could have spent my time hugging you or I could have spent my time telling you not to touch hot stoves or take candy from men. Which did you want? — Laurie Notaro

Sure, I'd like to lose some weight, but a tapeworm is the last way I'd like to do it, except becoming a prisoner of war. — Laurie Notaro

I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline. — Laurie Notaro

I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor. — Laurie Notaro

If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally and if something blocks one route, find another. Never give up. — Laurie Notaro

I'm always going to do whatever I think is funniest. If something's dark, I'll do it. — Tig Notaro

Be honest with yourself; set the alarm for the time the Real You will get up, not the Ambitious You, because the Ambitious You doesn't really exist. — Laurie Notaro

I worked at restaurants and coffee shops and babysitting and just whatever I could do to make money. — Tig Notaro

My age makes all my wrinkles and gray hair make sense. — Tig Notaro

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them. — Laurie Notaro

Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent. — Laurie Notaro

When I couldn't get ahold of cigarettes, I'd roll coffee grounds into typing paper and smoke that and then vomit. — Tig Notaro

When anything huge happens to me, I always think, this isn't my moment, this is a moment. — Tig Notaro

There are things running around out there with uteruses,son. You're going to need this. — Laurie Notaro

You are basically a flophouse and a pimp away from Pepcid rehab, you know that? I informed Nana. — Laurie Notaro

In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo. — Louis C.K.

I am just at tragedy right now. — Tig Notaro

I start crying when certain things come up, certain memories, certain feelings, and it's intense. But I think it's good for me - and therapeutic. — Tig Notaro

I love devastating movies, documentaries and hummingbirds (yes, in that order). — Tig Notaro

It's not the child's responsibility to teach the parent who they are. It's the parent's responsibility to learn who the child is. — Tig Notaro

Asininity was puddling all around me in quantities too vast to soak up. - It Looked Different on the Model — Laurie Notaro

Whaddaya mean 'old maids,' ha? The term is 'unclaimed treasure,' buddy, 'unclaimed treasure! — Laurie Notaro

There is a (slight) chance that I might be going to hell. — Laurie Notaro

As a kid, I loved Paula Poundstone and Richard Pryor. But my mother was a huge influence on my comedy. — Tig Notaro

Reminding myself that I have a tailbone keeps me in check. — Tig Notaro

I've had to write a column an hour after I've come back from a funeral. A deadline is a deadline, I mean, that was just what my job was. — Laurie Notaro

I'm the luckiest unlucky person. — Tig Notaro

Weddings, I began to understand, were vile, filthy things when they ran amuck. — Laurie Notaro

I didn't have an interest in school at all and was getting in trouble all the time. — Tig Notaro

Not many people have had as much bad luck as I have, but not many people have had as much good luck, either. — Tig Notaro

One of my favorite songs is 'Ghost' by Indigo Girls. Emily Saliers wrote that, and she is one of the most talented songwriters ever. — Tig Notaro

I was talking and playing pranks and skipping school, failing pretty much every class I took. — Tig Notaro

Comedy was a secret want, but it wasn't anything I pursued. — Tig Notaro

I'm fascinated by caddy Buddhists popping up all over Hollywood and people that take themselves too seriously. — Tig Notaro

I'm not a religious person; I'm not even, like, a spiritual person. — Tig Notaro

I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant. — Laurie Notaro

Everyone knows there's only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that's a clown, because everyone knows that clowns eat people. — Laurie Notaro