My Mother In Law Quotes: top 46 famous quotes about My Mother In Law

My Mother In Law Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational My Mother In Law quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.' — Les Dawson

It's not that we didn't get along, it's just that my mother-in-law is very objective. She objected to everything I did. — Beverly D'Angelo

My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in. — Les Dawson

I'm creating a self help show called Self Talk. I'll insult myself for an hour then open phone lines to a fitness coach & my mother-in-law. — Ryan Lilly

I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death. — Phyllis Diller

I think my mother found her mother-in-law entertaining, and in a person who entertains us, there is much we forgive. — Curtis Sittenfeld

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. — Phyllis Diller

My mother-in-law said, 'One day I will dance on your grave.' I said 'I hope you do; I will be buried at sea.' — Les Dawson

Don't get me wrong. I love my mother-in-law. It's her daughter I can't figure out. — Malcolm Gladwell

If there's an award for best mother-in-law in the universe, in the future, when my son gets married, I will win that award. — Laura Schlessinger

My mother-in-law is obsessed with clowns. — Seth

Even-money that my liver lasts through my wife's metamorphosis to my mother-in-law. — Tim Heaton

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. — Milton Berle

I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months-I don't like to interrupt her. — Ken Dodd

Maybe I shouldn't mouth off to the elemental I kinda hoped was my
future mother-in-law. — Kiersten White

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. — Henny Youngman

My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband. — Phyllis Diller

My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12. — Phyllis Diller

I know my mother-in-law would drive two hours to go see a movie that I'm in. — Melanie Lynskey

This is worse than death. Now i have to spend eternity with my nagging wife and mother-in-law. what did i do to deserve this? — John Corwin

I should, many a good day, have blown my brains out, but for the recollection that it would have given pleasure to my mother-in-law. — George Gordon Byron

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked. — Les Dawson

I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it. — Henny Youngman

I cook mostly vegetarian vegetable and bean stews. Quinoa salads. I make my mother-in-law's recipe for chicken and barley stew all the time. — Gail Simmons

I have no problem putting my feet up and watching football but my mother-in-law is always doing stuff. — Seal

I screamed, Go to hell! in the car, and the GPS took me to my mother-in-law's house. — Emma Beasley

My mother-in-law's from Norway, and she's always liked old-school remedies. — Lindsey Vonn

I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth. — Milton Berle

I have a great relationship with my mother-in-law. We're both Leos, we understand each other. — Tori Amos

My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it. — Les Dawson

They (mothers-in-law) never leave when they say they will. When my mother-in-law visits, the mice throw themselves at the cat, begging to be eaten. — Lisa Kleypas

The most dangerous flower is one that grows on a grave. Everybody in its vicinity is dead. That's why I hand-picked it for my mother-in-law. — Jarod Kintz

She sees me once in a guy's arms and she has us married already. I wonder what Raffe would think of my mom being his mother-in-law. — Susan Ee

Yet you would not drive a car with your mouth unless you are my mother-in-law. — Jean-Louis Gassee

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her. — Lenny Bruce

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. — Henny Youngman

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. — Les Dawson

I'll catch my death"

"If you don't get out of my sight, you won't have to catch death. I'll bring it to you — Stacey Kayne

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.' — Joan Rivers

My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale. — Les Dawson

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image. — Bernard Manning

My mother-in-law speaks not a word of English. I speak not a word of Tajiki. So I smile at her ingratiatingly and she fixes me with a beady eye. — Wilbur Smith

A lot of women have trouble with their mothers-in-law."
Raphael's look was priceless. "My mother is an insane archangel. — Nalini Singh

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.' — Les Dawson

My mother-in-law was so mean she blinded herself just to get a free dog. — Gary Delaney

I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in. — Milton Berle