My Dog Funny Quotes
Collection of top 70 famous quotes about My Dog Funny
My Dog Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational My Dog Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Working for Mab now, are you, Wolfman?" he smirked. "Like a good little attack dog? Will you also roll over and beg if she asks?
— Julie Kagawa
A man bitten by a dog, whether the animal is mad or not, is apt to get mad himself.
— George D. Prentice
As soon as I arrive at the house, Laurie starts running, hits my chest, knocks me down, and licks my face. It's become a family ritual.
— Beverly Sills
I'm gonna hump ya. Like Deputy Dog ... Would hump ya.
— Steve Coogan
What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish."
— Robert Schimmel
What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
— Rodney Dangerfield
Dachshund: A half-a-dog high and a dog-and-a-half long.
— H.L. Mencken
It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?
— Eleanor Porter
My sister wanted a cat for a pet ... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.
— Chic Murray
My dog was barking at everyone the other day. Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.
— Tommy Cooper
My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!
— Rodney Dangerfield
It's funny to me that people find other people getting coffee really interesting, or walking their dog in the dog park.
— Jake Gyllenhaal
I think so. I want a hamburger and a hot dog." I paused. "And ice cream in one of those waffle cones. And - and I want to see the big kitties.
— Jennifer L. Armentrout
They had a ... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.
— Clive James
Thank God for machines. They can make a dog sing!
— Christopher Atkins
Number one way life would be different if dogs ran the world: All motorists must drive with head out window.
— David Letterman
He was a funny old dog. He liked strawberries.
— Margaret Wise Brown
Is it me? Is it like I have a beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
— Lisa Kudrow
Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man.
— George Jean Nathan
Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.
— Richard Belzer
Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.
— Cynthia Heimel
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
— George Carlin
I spilled spot remover on my dog; now he's gone.
— Steven Wright
I just bought a Chihuahua. It's the dog for lazy people. You don't have to walk it. Just hold it out the window and squeeze.
— Anthony Ward Clark
No man is the boss of his own house, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
— W.C. Fields
It sometimes takes days, even weeks, before a dog's nerves tire. In the case of terriers it can run into months.
— E.B. White
He is my dog, Toto," answered Dorothy."Is he made of tin, or stuffed?" asked the Lion.
"Neither. He's a
a
a meat dog," said the girl. — L. Frank Baum
A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well - almost.
— Charlotte Gray
Stevie Wonder always smells so good ... I'm like a DEA dog, I can smell people a block away!
— Gloria Estefan
Dogs are a habit, I think.
— Elizabeth Bowen
I always thought that my canine family tended to view me as the funny-looking two-legged dog who runs the can opener.
— Roger Caras
I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
— Steven Wright
It would be the last thing he did if he beat my dog.
— Holly Hood
Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt, and Astor together could have raised money enough to buy a quarter share in my little dogs.
— Ernest Thompson Seton
What a goon, except it really is funny, me trying to sneeze a hot dog through my nose, and we're both laughing like total morons.
— Rodman Philbrick
How come dog and dog owner are so alike?
— Hiroko Sakai
That's the only dog I know who can smell someone just thinking about food.
— Charles M. Schulz
They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!
— David Letterman
I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Miguel: Merle? What kind of hick name is that? I wouldn't name my dog Merle.
— The Walking Dead
Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives.
— Huntley Fitzpatrick
Sometimes I feel like a fire hydrant looking at a pack of dogs.
— William J. Clinton
When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.
— Honore De Balzac
You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far.
— Libba Bray
Are you a female dog?""What?" Massie asked. "Why?"
"Because you are acting like a real bitch! — Lisi Harrison
Guide dogs for the blind. It's cruel really, isn't it? Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair on either of them.
— Steve Coogan
My Scottie refused to go for a walk with a friend of the house, but she would joyously accompany any stranger who drove a car.
— Mazo De La Roche
The dog is dressed just like me at the climax of my act.
— Gypsy Rose Lee
You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn't somehow tied to his name. You're not going out to see a Kevin Hot-Dog movie.
— Jim Gaffigan
It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
— P.G. Wodehouse
You'll never call him Fifi again.
— Lynda Barry
I won't say that you're pretty because that dog already did. And I won't say you're funny because you have had me laughing since I met you.
— Melissa Landers
Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of the door.
— Charlton Ogburn
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding? ... Noooo ... as funny as that is, I'm not
— Ellen DeGeneres
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
— Phyllis Diller
