Motherhood Humor Quotes: top 39 famous quotes about Motherhood Humor

Motherhood Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Motherhood Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

One very important key to maintaining our daily sanity is a simple scheduling tactic I call Putting Things the Hell Off. — Ian Frazier

To be successful you need friends and to be very successful you need enemies. — Sidney Sheldon

I can absolutely assure you that birth is nothing like holding an ice cube in your hand for a minute and breathing through the "pain. — Cassi Clark

Go hug a nursing mom -- but not too hard. Her boobs may hurt. — Cassi Clark

I am a big soccer fan, and a very big Liverpool fan. — Clive Owen

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin said that New Orleans, when rebuilt, will be a chocolate city. And he will be the delicious nut in the center. — Amy Poehler

In case you haven't heard, let me tell you now, babies do not come out knowing how to breastfeed. — Cassi Clark

I sighed and deleted the message, imagining the dirty clothes multiplying like rabbits, because that's what they do when I'm not around. — Alex Owens

It's tough being AWESOME all the time, but the kids need someone to look up to! — Tanya Masse

The physical relief of having fully drained boobs cannot be overstated. — Cassi Clark

Half the time your kids end up hating you for at least 5 of their teenage years[.] And don't ever expect anything so mundane as a thank you — Donna Ball

Heaven is the feeling of hand warmers on sore nipples. — Cassi Clark

MOMB - noun - One who can deal with all of the INSANITY of being a MOM ... Because she's the BOMB! — Tanya Masse

These days, "getting lucky" means drinking an entire cup of COFFEE while it's still HOT! — Tanya Masse

I think I would scream too if someone violently jammed a big ass breast in my mouth. — Cassi Clark

Being the survivor stinks. — Sara Gruen

I suffer from CLAUSTROPHOBIA, a fear of closed spaces.For example, I'm petrified that the WINE store will be closed before I have time to get there!!! — Tanya Masse

A novelist is a man who doesn't like his mother. — Georges Simenon

Maggie had learned a long time ago that each day with a child was filled with two kinds of battles: those that won the war, and those that did not. — Sydney Strand

On a good day, my style is librarian chic. On a bad day, it's frumpy mother. — Cassandra Page

You got to be right with yourself before you can be right with anybody else. — August Wilson

I will miss our porch. I thought about that as I settled into one of its rockers, — Alessandra Torre

If nursing were easy, there wouldn't be so many helpful products. — Cassi Clark

Things aren't always what they seem
You're only seeing part of me
There's more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes. — Francesca Battistelli

Poor woman! She probably thought change of air might agree with many of her children. — Jane Austen

As our kindness for ourselves grows, so does our kindness for other people. — Pema Chodron

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. — Dorothy Parker

I liked the way that repetition wears things smooth, and there was something of the river stone to Iggie's stories. — Edmund De Waal

Having a kid is like an industrial revolution of the emotions. Suddenly you can mass produce worry, and guilt. — S.K. Tremayne

For me, adoption was grief in reverse. — Jody Cantrell Dyer

If God's the type of guy that would damn you to Hell just for loving someone, then I wouldn't want to spend eternity with Him, anyway. — Colleen Hoover

Pick your words carefully as it has the power to make the sentence beautiful or ugly ... — Adil Adam Memon

It was deflating to realize how much my own family's quality of life might improve if I replaced myself with a Fundamentalist stay-at-home daughter. — Quinn Cummings

When I stepped from hard manual work to writing, I just stepped from one kind of hard work to another. — Sean O'Casey

She said, in her defense, "Love is a luxury."
"No. Love is an element. — Laini Taylor

Even AWESOME MOMS use the F-BOMB! — Tanya Masse

WINE. Because...KIDS! — Tanya Masse

Though breastfeeding is supposed to the most natural thing ever, it seems like a rich-people sport for all the stuff we buy to help. — Cassi Clark

If we wear our nursing covers backwards like capes, then everyone can see we're breastfeeding superheroes. — Cassi Clark