More Funny Quotes
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More Funny Quotes & Sayings
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Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.
— Jerry Coleman
There was an edge to his expression, like he didn't trust anyone who was more attractive than he was.
— Marissa Meyer
Stress and sleep deprivation had a funny way of liberating the mind from previously held truisms, replacing them with a more compliant desperation.
— David Z. Hirsch
For every guy who loves being a dad, there's another who realizes too late that he's created something his wife loves more than him.
— Mark R. Brand
When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
— Lily Tomlin
I began to think I quite liked her really. It's always so nice to meet someone more badly behaved than oneself.
— Helen Fielding
One should avoid carrying out an experiment requiring more than 10 per cent accuracy.
— Walther Nernst
I'd say he's done more than that.
— Yogi Berra
Even though I do a more traditional type of being funny on television, I still know a lot of comedians and stand-ups and improv actors.
— Busy Philipps
Why write about the past? Well, there's more of it.
— John Cleese
She stared down into her coffee, as if she had more to say, but the words had fallen into the mug and were now too soggy to use.
— Rachel Vincent
You promise?""I cross the place where my heart used to be and wish to be even more deader than I am now. — Derek Landy
Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
— Woody Allen
We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads.
— Vlade Divac
The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.
— David Cross
Lit more than enlightened.
— Tanuja Desai Hidier
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
— P. J. O'Rourke
If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.
— Patton Oswalt
The more I see of man, the more I like dogs.
— Madame De Stael
I need one more bass less.
— Eugene Ormandy
It's funny how things don't matter any more when it's too late.
— Carole Matthews
At this point I'm sure he's more plastic than person, but most people who hate wrinkles become Daleks over time, anyway.
— Ashley Poston
"vers libre," (free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture.
— G.K. Chesterton
Divination is turning out to be much more trouble than I could have foreseen, never having studied the subject myself.
— J.K. Rowling
I love anybody funny. I think my ten-year-old sister is really funny. She makes me laugh way more than most people do.
— Chelsea Martin
You think that killing people will make them like you more, but it doesn't,it just makes them dead.
— Joe Walker
I got my hair highlighted because I felt some strands were more important than others.
— Mitch Hedberg
Do you actually see the testosterone pour out of you when you work out, or is it more of a mist?
— Eli Easton
We were talking briefly about cocaine ... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that!
— Robin Williams
How's your head?" the larger man asked."Do me a favor and cut it off," Black muttered. "It's more pain than it's worth right
now. — Tricia Owens
It is a sign of immaturity to believe that being older than someone (automatically) makes you more (mentally) mature than them.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I went to the airport, I put my bag in the x-ray machine, I found out my bag has cancer. It only has six more months to hold stuff.
— Mitch Hedberg
Funny, I don't feel any more powerful today than yesterday.
— Jerry B. Jenkins
Is there anything more embarrassing than sailing into battle with half-finished figureheads? -Loki
— Rick Riordan
If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband's murder.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
It's an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson.
— Gordon Strachan
I guess it was what my friend Phoolendu at the yoga studio would call kismet. That's like fate, but much more dramatic.
— Robin Palmer
![More Funny Quotes By Mark Haddon: [I]t is funny because economists are not real](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/more-funny-quotes-by-mark-haddon-563252.jpg "More Funny Quotes By Mark Haddon: [I]t is funny because economists are not real")
I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker.
— Keenen Ivory Wayans
The hateful reviews are very funny. And sometimes you can enjoy a hateful review much more than a good review.
— Gaspar Noe
Punctuation was, it is sad to say, invented a very long time ago. Even more frustrating, it has remained with us ever since.
— Anne Elizabeth Moore
When I was a kid I did impressions and funny voices a lot. When I was telling a story I would use the voices to make it more entertaining.
— Gabriel Iglesias
If you're heading downtown from Centeral Park, my advice is to take the subway. Flying pigs are faster but way more dangerous
— Rick Riordan
Dark, cool, musty, smoky, where light fell funny and everyone looked like someone you knew or wanted to know. Or, more likely, wanted to forget.
— David Baldacci
This wonderful, sexy, funny guy was completely psychotic. And I was still holding his hand.Even more surprisingly, I still didn't want to let go. — Katherine Pine
People are funny. They often don't mean to be, and that's what makes it even more endearing.
— Jennifer Lee
Unix gives you just enough rope to hang yourself - and then a couple of more feet, just to be sure.
— Eric Allman
It's funny - my wife is more jealous of my books than of other women because I'm always working and thinking about my books.
— Antonio Lobo Antunes
Nothing is ever finished. It's a funny thing. I actually think that's really the more natural way of stories or songs.
— Joseph Gordon-Levitt
You have more issues than Reader's Digest.
— Rebecca McNutt
They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.
— Mitch Hedberg
The whimsicalness of our own humor is a thousand times more fickle and unaccountable than what we blame so much in fortune.
— Francois De La Rochefoucauld
Feelings are a funny thing, he realized. They're always more tangled and contradictory and complex than we want them to be. Than we care to admit.
— Catherine Ryan Hyde
That's funny. I've always liked Naomi's version of me the best. I'm always much more interesting when she talks about me.
— Rachel Cohn
Plus, I love comic writing. Nothing satisfies me more than finding a funny way to phrase something.
— Michael Pollan
For a being more advanced than I am, he sure has a hard time answering a simple question
— Rick Yancey
This is the only thing that has seen more parties than us.
— Steven Tyler
