Mitch's Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Mitch's

Mitch's Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Mitch's quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told

Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot! — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I have a roommate, and I signed a

I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I like to smoke a pipe, because it's

I like to smoke a pipe, because it's the punch line indicator. Whenever I take a hit of the pipe, you should be laughing. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Kapor: You can't be in the tech community ...

You can't be in the tech community ... without realizing there's a big shortage of talent. — Mitch Kapor

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: Intentions. That's important in music, too. Critically important.

Intentions. That's important in music, too. Critically important. What you're thinking about can be what you become. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: It's not contagious, you know. Death is as

It's not contagious, you know. Death is as natural as life. It's part of the deal we made. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: Do you understand? Why we're here? This is

Do you understand? Why we're here? This is not your heaven. It's mine. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Kapor: If advertisers want to decorate their ads to

If advertisers want to decorate their ads to increase their conversions by showing what users think, that's a good thing. — Mitch Kapor

Mitch's Quotes By Allison Jones: 'Arrested Development' is great; Mitch Hurwitz is great.

'Arrested Development' is great; Mitch Hurwitz is great. Plus, it's the one show I've ever had where, on the small parts, he just let me cast people. — Allison Jones

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: 2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is

2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I have an idea for sweatshops: air conditioning!

I have an idea for sweatshops: air conditioning! That's simple. 14 year old boys working twelve hour days? "Yeah, but they're comfortable!" — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: A memoir should have some uplifting quality, inspiring

A memoir should have some uplifting quality, inspiring or illuminating, and that's what separates a life story that can influence other people. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: If you're always battling against getting older, you're

If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it's going to happen anyhow. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I saw on HBO they were advertising a

I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match "It's a fight to the finish". That's a good place to end. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Kapor: Oakland's time is coming. In fact, Oakland's time

Oakland's time is coming. In fact, Oakland's time is already here. Tech is coming to Oakland, and it's terribly exciting. — Mitch Kapor

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I got a smoke alarm at home, but

I got a smoke alarm at home, but really it's more like a 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Kristen Ashley: The door opened and Tack's eyes cut to

The door opened and Tack's eyes cut to it to see Brock "Slim" Lucas and Mitch Lawson coming through the door. — Kristen Ashley

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: It's hard to dance if you just lost

It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa Where's my wallet But, hey this song is funky ... — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Michaelson: It's a violent galaxy filled with cutthroat pirates,

It's a violent galaxy filled with cutthroat pirates, cyber-mercenaries and star messiahs. If peace comes, it will have to steal in like a thief. — Mitch Michaelson

Mitch's Quotes By Stephen Colbert: It's August, which means Congress is on recess

It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate. — Stephen Colbert

Mitch's Quotes By Alia Shawkat: Mitch Hurwitz was like a father figure to

Mitch Hurwitz was like a father figure to me. He was so sweet, and he's just so smart. — Alia Shawkat

Mitch's Quotes By Vince Flynn: No offence Mitch, but you look like s*****."

No offence Mitch, but you look like s*****."
"I feel like s**** — Vince Flynn

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon

They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I find a duck's opinion of me is

I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: Talent is a piece of God's shadow. And

Talent is a piece of God's shadow. And under that shadow, human stories intersect. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: It's hard to fight when you're in a

It's hard to fight when you're in a gazebo. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: It's very dangerous to wave to people you

It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: It's weird ... people say they're not like

It's weird ... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then? — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: This shirt is dry clean only. Which means

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means ... it's dirty. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: People who smoke cigarettes, they say "You don't

People who smoke cigarettes, they say "You don't know how hard it is to quit smoking." Yes I do. It's as hard as it is to start flossing. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: He leaned in close. He saw his father's

He leaned in close. He saw his father's dirty hands. He spoke the last familiar words in a whisper.
Its' fixed. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: Well, that's a 'fresher'. I'm going on break.

Well, that's a 'fresher'. I'm going on break. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: Mitch, that's what faith is. If they spit

Mitch, that's what faith is. If they spit in your face, you say it must be raining. But you still come back tomorrow. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I read that MTV's Real World got 40,000

I read that MTV's Real World got 40,000 applications. That's amazing, such an even number. You would have thought it would be 40,008. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I type a 101 words a minute. But

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Kapor: Lotus's efforts around the Mac were pathetically unsuccessful,

Lotus's efforts around the Mac were pathetically unsuccessful, which is sad. — Mitch Kapor

Mitch's Quotes By Cheryl Cooke Harrington: AirWalker. With a name like that, it had

AirWalker. With a name like that, it had to be Mitch Walker's plane. Was it possible she'd found herself a bush pilot with a poetic soul? — Cheryl Cooke Harrington

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Miller: It's not music, it's a disease. (on rock'n'roll)

It's not music, it's a disease. (on rock'n'roll) — Mitch Miller

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I want to be a rebellious McDonald's owner.

I want to be a rebellious McDonald's owner. Cheeseburgers ... NOPE ... we got spaghetti! — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: In a strange way, I envied the quality

In a strange way, I envied the quality of Morrie's time even as I lamented its diminishing supply. Why did we bother with all the distractions we did? — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I can't eat spaghetti. There's too many of

I can't eat spaghetti. There's too many of them. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: The Kit Kat candy bar has the name

The Kit Kat candy bar has the name Kit Kat imprinted into the chocolate. That robs you of chocolate! That's a clever chocolate-saving technique. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a

I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it ... and he's always on time. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Elmore Leonard: She said very quietly, "Mitch?" "What?" "There's somebody

She said very quietly, "Mitch?" "What?" "There's somebody downstairs." "I know there is. — Elmore Leonard

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: The truth is, there is no line. There's

The truth is, there is no line. There's only your life, how you mess it up, and who is there to save you.
Or who isn't. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Daniels: As Republicans, our first concern is for those

As Republicans, our first concern is for those waiting tonight to begin or resume the climb up life's ladder. — Mitch Daniels

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: There is a time for hello and a

There is a time for hello and a time for good-bye. It's why the act of burying thing seems natural, but the act of digging them up does not. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: That's what heaven is. You get to make

That's what heaven is. You get to make sense of your yesterdays — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case

I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer. That doesn't make any sense at all. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I'd like to see a forklift lift a

I'd like to see a forklift lift a crate of forks. It'd be so damn literal! You are using that machine to it's exact purpose! — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I saw a guy juggling chain saws, it

I saw a guy juggling chain saws, it was cool, unless something needed to be sawed down, then it's annoying. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I got some tartar-control toothpaste a while back.

I got some tartar-control toothpaste a while back. I've still got tartar, but it's under control. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Kristen Ashley: Mara, baby, never believed this shit either but

Mara, baby, never believed this shit either but now I know you were made for me. So, seein' as that's true, it goes the other way too. — Kristen Ashley

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I did a radio interview; the DJ's first

I did a radio interview; the DJ's first question was "Who are you?" I had to think. Is this guy really deep, or did I drive to the wrong station? — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hewer: I've tapdanced since I was 11 years old.

I've tapdanced since I was 11 years old. I always wanted to be a tapdancer, and that's all I ever wanted to be. — Mitch Hewer

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: But behind all your stories is always your

But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begins. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I'm a heroine addict. I need to have

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch McConnell: Bolton's exactly what the U.N. needs at this

Bolton's exactly what the U.N. needs at this point. The president's right on the mark in picking him. — Mitch McConnell

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: What's wrong with being number 2?

What's wrong with being number 2? — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: We must be open to God's miracles.

We must be open to God's miracles. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: Don't fall asleep in classes. It's such a

Don't fall asleep in classes. It's such a lucky thing you have, to be taught and to be learning and not have to be working in a shop somewhere. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: I HAVE A HEARTBURN AND DIAHREA AT THE

I HAVE A HEARTBURN AND DIAHREA AT THE MOMENT
LIFE'S ABITCH. CHAT LATER?
[signed] SORE TUSH — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: There is a reason God limits man's days.

There is a reason God limits man's days. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Kindle Alexander: Telling me your name wouldn't kill you.Did you

Telling me your name wouldn't kill you.
Did you hear me tell you my name's Mitch? I'd really like to hear you use it when I'm fucking you later. — Kindle Alexander

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Lasky: Snapchat's ramp reminded us of another mobile app

Snapchat's ramp reminded us of another mobile app Benchmark had the good fortune to back at an early stage: Instagram. — Mitch Lasky

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Daniels: We must display a heart for every American,

We must display a heart for every American, and a special passion for those still on the first rung of life's ladder. — Mitch Daniels

Mitch's Quotes By Rainbow Rowell: It's too bad Mitch can't be the pregnant

It's too bad Mitch can't be the pregnant one.
Oh my God, he'd love that. — Rainbow Rowell

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Daniels: Our first thought is always for those on

Our first thought is always for those on life's first rung, and how we might increase their chances of climbing. — Mitch Daniels

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed

I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist. That's not a full joke there! It's filler. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: That kind of love - the kind you

That kind of love - the kind you realize you already have by the life you've created together - that's the kind that lasts. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Jennifer Crusie: Mitch's take on humanity had deteriorated to the

Mitch's take on humanity had deteriorated to the point where he assumed someone was lying if her lips were moving. — Jennifer Crusie

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: When you come to the end, that's where

When you come to the end, that's where God begins. Many — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: When he smiles it's as if you'd just

When he smiles it's as if you'd just told him the first joke on earth. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I wish they made fajita cologne, because that

I wish they made fajita cologne, because that stuff smells good. What's that you're wearing? That's sizzlin'! — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I hate arrows. They try to tell me

I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like "I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!" — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch McConnell: For everybody who thinks it's warming, I can

For everybody who thinks it's warming, I can find somebody who thinks it isn't. — Mitch McConnell

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: It's not just other people we need to

It's not just other people we need to forgive. We also need to forgive ourselves. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: It's such a shame to waste time. We

It's such a shame to waste time. We always think we have so much of it. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: Never tell a child that something it's too

Never tell a child that something it's too hard — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I got in an argument with a girlfriend

I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Rowland: Sometimes even the smallest of efforts can change

Sometimes even the smallest of efforts can change someone's fate entirely. — Mitch Rowland

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: When a lost loved one appears before you,

When a lost loved one appears before you, it's your brain that fights it, not your heart. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I went to a cigar store, the man

I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" I answered, "It's a Boys." — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: My belt holds my pants up, but the

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero? — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Joel: It's not all about content. It's all about

It's not all about content. It's all about stories. It's not all about stories. It's all about great stories. — Mitch Joel

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: You can be a mama's boy, be a

You can be a mama's boy, be a daddy's boy, but you can't be both. So you cling to the one you think you might lose. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: A mother's voice is like no other. We

A mother's voice is like no other. We recognize every lilt and whisper, every warble or shriek. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I would like to go fishing and catch

I would like to go fishing and catch a fish stick. That would be convenient. I could easily get a job at Mrs. Paul's. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Kapor: If you can command a lot of attention,

If you can command a lot of attention, that's what is valuable, and many in the commercial ecology would like to have a piece of that attention. — Mitch Kapor

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: At I Am My Brother's Keeper, there were

At I Am My Brother's Keeper, there were no dues, no drives, no singles nights. Membership grew the old-fashioned way: a desperate need for God. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: I don't want to leave the world in

I don't want to leave the world in a state of fright. I want to know what's happening, accept it, get to a peaceful place, and let go — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Kapor: If information wants to be free, then that's

If information wants to be free, then that's true everywhere, not just in information technology. — Mitch Kapor

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: It's always difficult to watch someone you love

It's always difficult to watch someone you love die. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: What is it about childhood that never lets

What is it about childhood that never lets you go, even when you're so wrecked it's hard to believe you ever were a child? — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: They gave up days and weeks of their

They gave up days and weeks of their lives, addicted to someone else's drama — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Kristen Ashley: Let's see if I can tear that cocoon

Let's see if I can tear that cocoon wide open and let my Mara fly. — Kristen Ashley

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: When we are most alone is when we

When we are most alone is when we embrace another's loneliness. — Mitch Albom

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I know a lot about cars, man. I

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming. — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Horowitz: All the quantum physics experiments have occurred chiefly

All the quantum physics experiments have occurred chiefly on the atomic scale and we are taught to believe that nature's laws are consistent. — Mitch Horowitz

Mitch's Quotes By Mitch Albom: That's the thing when people leave us too

That's the thing when people leave us too suddenly, isn't it? We always have so many questions. — Mitch Albom