Mencia Quotes: top 36 famous quotes about Mencia

Mencia Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Mencia quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes. — Carlos Mencia

America is such a great country, we have fat poor people. — Carlos Mencia

That's not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news! — Carlos Mencia

I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba. — Carlos Mencia

Why are we rebuilding New Orleans? Whose idea was this, Aquaman? — Carlos Mencia

Nothing scared me more than the dark. I liked to see what was coming, and darkness was a place where things could hide. — Kami Garcia

It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open ... I never want to know what comes out of there because sometimes I eat at that restaurant. — Carlos Mencia

The legislator learns that when you talk a lot, you get in trouble. You have to listen a lot to make deals. — Bob Woodward

Do not encourage my behaviour. — Carlos Mencia

Here, let's go to my dressing room, and I promise, I'll only put it in for a second. — Carlos Mencia

I grew up in the projects and I know how important it is for kids to have hope. — Carlos Mencia

Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody. — Carlos Mencia

When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas. — Carlos Mencia

I'm not white, I don't apologize for what my country did to become great — Carlos Mencia

When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal! — Carlos Mencia

If you aren't laughing, you aren't living! — Carlos Mencia

The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away. — Carlos Mencia

We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work? — Carlos Mencia

But perhaps the question is not whether you can stand with the king... but whether your king can stand with you. — Ta-Nehisi Coates

Hurricane Katrina was caused by political correctness. I said it! — Carlos Mencia

Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska. — Carlos Mencia

The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them. — Carlos Mencia

When women can't climax, it's our fault, but when we can't get an erection, we have to go to the doctor. — Carlos Mencia

I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it! — Carlos Mencia

If your gonna drop out of school - tough grades are not your goal - then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole. — Carlos Mencia

Because of my schooling, my fate would always be a little different from my friends. — Daoud Hari

When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping. — Carlos Mencia

Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay. — Carlos Mencia

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people. — Carlos Mencia

If God made Adam and Eve, they had children ... wait a minute ... that means someone banged their sister! — Carlos Mencia

Collective human actions are transforming, even ravaging, the biosphere - perhaps irreversibly - through global warming and loss of biodiversity. — Martin Rees

Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed. — Carlos Mencia

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. — Carlos Mencia

I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim. — Carlos Mencia

I believe in nothing but it is my nothing. — Richey Edwards

I went to college because I felt like I was supposed to. I graduated from public high school and I did all the things that I was supposed to do. — Mila Kunis