Man Woman Funny Quotes: top 34 famous quotes about Man Woman Funny

Man Woman Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Man Woman Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

The idea that creative endeavor and mind-altering substances are entwined is one of the great pop-intellectual myths of our time. — Stephen King

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. — H.L. Mencken

A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put together let no woman put asunder. — A.R. Gurney

When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows. — Frederick Bushnell "Jack" Ryder

So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?" — Tommy Cooper

I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella. — Jimmy Cannon

Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man. — George Jean Nathan

Every man should marry - and no woman — Benjamin Disraeli

I do not think about being beautiful. What I devote most of my time to is being healthy. — Ann Bancroft

You don't want to have to be the man and the woman in the relationship. I always say you want a man who can fix the toilet. — Pamela Anderson

My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton. — Chic Murray

It was a little difficult to take him seriously when he sang along to a song about a woman taking another woman's man. — Holly Hood

A man is always devoted to something more tangible than a woman - the idea of her. — Bauvard

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. — Erica Jong

Gratitude can sometimes be as annoying as whininess. — Josh Lieb

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!" — Henny Youngman

I've seen all the Batman movies in the theater opening weekend. I was a big Batman fan, definitely. — Robin Lord Taylor

Where is God? Where can I find him? we ask. We don't realize that's like a fish swimming frantically through the ocean in search OF the ocean — Ted Dekker

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. — Lana Turner

Money enhances a man, yes, as beauty enhances a woman. — Leona Helmsley

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Opposities are married. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Time and Tide wait for no Man; what about woman ? How Sexist ! — Gaurav Rao

She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much! — Ljupka Cvetanova

A woman in advancing old age is unstoppable by any earthly force. I love it. — Anita Roddick

It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil. — Martha Plimpton

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was made from his funny bone. — James M. Barrie

Shaga: How would you like to die, little man?
Tyrion: In my bed, at the age of eighty with a belly full of wine and a woman's mouth around my cock. — George R R Martin

They call me the confuser. Is he a man ... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind. — Noel Fielding

The spirit is the mirror; the body is the rust.
(Divan-i-Shamsi Tabriz) — Idries Shah

Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart.
Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook. — Mae West

The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases. — Nia Vardalos

I loved being outside. We'd hold lightning bugs in our fingers and pretend they were diamond rings. — Loretta Lynn

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. — Mark Twain