Jokes In Quotes
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Jokes In Quotes & Sayings
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I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke.
— Billie Joe Armstrong
Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else ...
— Demetri Martin
One of the greatest gifts in this world is the ability to make others smile. - The Unauthorized Autobiography of Jonathan Fisher
— J.E.B. Spredemann
I've liked being Jewish in America - there's a secular version of Jewishness there that's more about bagels and jokes than going to synagogues.
— Beeban Kidron
They're in trouble, Kaz had thought. Or you were dead wrong about Matthias, and you're about to pay for all of those talking tree jokes.
— Leigh Bardugo
Sometimes in the studio movies I've been working in, you'll put a joke in a movie because the crowd loves it - not because I love it.
— David Gordon Green
The joke that you laid in the bed that was me.
— Alanis Morissette
There is laughter, shrill calls. Everyone is flirting, saying in nudges and jokes and blushing what they would do in private.
— Jesmyn Ward
I've included these little jokes and mysteries in my writing for the amusement of readers.
— Armistead Maupin
Remember how I found you there alone in your electric chair, I told you dirty jokes until you smiled.
— Billy Joel
Women who are not living ought to spend all their time cracking jokes. In a rotten society women grow witty; making a heaven while they wait.
— Dorothy Richardson
What came first the chicken or the egg?The chicken. That is how it got knocked up in the first place. — Teresa Mummert
![Jokes In Quotes By Michael Shurtleff: Humor [in a scene] is not jokes. It](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/jokes-in-quotes-by-michael-shurtleff-914769.jpg "Jokes In Quotes By Michael Shurtleff: Humor [in a scene] is not jokes. It")
Humor [in a scene] is not jokes. It is that attitude toward being alive without which you would long ago have jumped off the 59th Street Bridge.
— Michael Shurtleff
I make a lot of jokes about vegetarians in my act but most of them don't have the strength to protest.
— Ardal O'Hanlon
Some jokes are stupid and useless, if you can't get it. It's to stupid to go in it, but whatever!- Make your choice! — Deyth Banger
I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
If I do not do sensible things about investments I shall spend my old age in a workhouse, where nobody will understand my jokes.
— Rebecca West
The day I understand what's going on in her psychotic little brain they'll have to lock me in a psych ward.
— J. Gabriel Gates
A difference of taste in jokes, is a great strain on the affections.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
There was laughter in the back of the theater, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.
— George S. Kaufman
I just wanted to be in show biz. I wanted to make music and sing and dance, tell jokes and stories, make ya smile, make ya cry - and charge you $ 8.50
— David Lee Roth
I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.
— Andrew Dice Clay
A billion neutrinos go swimming in heavy water: one gets wet.
— Michael Kamakana
In Bengal, Hindus are known to crack jokes at the expense of their gods and goddesses and that's what I did.
— Sunil Gangopadhyay
I have five boys in the family, and it's constant competition, sport, humor, and practical jokes.
— Mitt Romney
I keep to a minimum dialect, in-jokes about football (soccer) teams and soap opera characters, so as not to lose North American readers.
— Peter Robinson
I'm a taker in terms of jokes. I love to hear a good joke, but I don't retain jokes. I'm not a good teller of jokes.
— Steve Carell
I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.
— Noel Fielding
Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you're (linguistically) dead.
— David Crystal
I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.
— Allan Sloan
Jokes are so personal, and they bring us together in so many ways.
— Mike Birbiglia
I don't want to go and start trying to make jokes in places like India, Tanzania or Iraq. Afghanistan is not a funny place.
— Bill Bryson
Worse than jokes in the morning did she hate the idea of a husband.
— Elizabeth Von Arnim
And there'd be no more jokes in Music-hallsTo mock the riddled corpses round Bapaume. — Siegfried Sassoon
It was one of God's jokes that such a dumb mind had been put in such an eloquent body.
— Charlaine Harris
Plato was only a Bernard Shaw who unfortunately made his jokes in Greek.
— Gilbert K. Chesterton
Nurse: "You look like a pharmaceutical rep. you can leave samples in the closet."Joe: "I'm actually a lawyer."
Nurse: "My condolences. — Jodi Picoult
I like to smile a lot before going in the car. I make jokes, even on the grid, and then I can still manage to focus when it counts.
— Romain Grosjean
I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.
— Felipe Esparza
I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
— James C. Humes
in this society, things you'd think could only be bad jokes actually happen all the time.
— Banana Yoshimoto
I care more about making sure the story is correct and the characters are behaving in character than I do about the individual jokes.
— Michael Schur
Q: What do Jesus and Nicole Brown Simpson have in common? A: They were both killed by the Joooooooose.
— Helen Thomas
In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.
— Frank Dane
People see me laughing and telling jokes, but they had no idea after the show was over, I had no joy in my life, in my heart.
— Steve Harvey
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
— Johnny Carson
A friend of mine jokes that I have a painstaking royalty complex. Like maybe I was a duke in a past life.
— Frank Ocean
Yes, my mom does keep making references to marriage, like all mothers do, but it's only in a lighter mood ... she just jokes.
— Saina Nehwal
I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes.
— Scott Aukerman
The main jokes in this film are about big things, love and life and zombies - we all get that.
— Simon Pegg
I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
— Tahar Ben Jelloun
I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.
— Kathleen Madigan
When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
— Seth MacFarlane
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
— Steven Wright
Jesus," said Clary. "I doubt he'd fit." "Jace." Clary was appalled. "What?" "I don't know, it seems wrong to make jokes like that in a church.
— Cassandra Clare
My English is closer to the literary English, and I'm not very familiar with jokes in English or with, you know, with small talk in English.
— J.M.G. Le Clezio
Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent - no jokes in it for the parents!
— Dick Bruna
Somewhere between the smiles, the laughing, the fights about nothing, and all our jokes, I fell in love.
— Dawn Williams
I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.
— Jim Gaffigan
By reusing jokes, you train yourself to alter them in ways that are unique to you, developing your own natural sense of humor.
— Charlie Houpert
I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.
— Sarah Michelle Gellar
I grew up in the projects. You have no choice but to fight. My jokes used to get me in fights.
— Marlon Wayans
Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
— Seth MacFarlane
You play tough guy, making jokes to hide the anger you feel in your heart because they were taken from you, the men responsible never found.
— Charlie Cochet
I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
— Jimmy Carr
