Jokes Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Jokes
Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Jokes quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Here's my most funniest joke, I'm broke.
— Lil' Wayne
I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke.
— Billie Joe Armstrong
You need to be my wife to win with me.
— Pawan Mishra
I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.
— John Oliver
What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.
— Carlos Mencia
Don't threaten me with a good time.
— Michael Anthony
They're in trouble, Kaz had thought. Or you were dead wrong about Matthias, and you're about to pay for all of those talking tree jokes.
— Leigh Bardugo
I aspire to bean old man
with an old wife
laughing at old jokes
from a wild youth. — Atticus Poetry
I did see the Soul Train picture. That was interesting. I've heard all the jokes. I had it coming.
— Mike Tomlin
That sun is lookin' good ... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome.
— Tom Bergeron
Two preppies from the University of South Florida tried to hit on her with cocaine jokes. Sharon
— Tim Dorsey
I make a lot of jokes about vegetarians in my act but most of them don't have the strength to protest.
— Ardal O'Hanlon
You start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few good jokes.
— David Nicholls
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
— Will Rogers
Time for black jokes, what's the time??Can you handle it! — Deyth Banger
Some jokes are stupid and useless, if you can't get it. It's to stupid to go in it, but whatever!- Make your choice! — Deyth Banger
Gladstone, how sad do you have to get before you stop making jokes?
— Wayne Gladstone
Who decides which defects are funny and which ones are tragic? Nobody laughs at blind people or makes iron lung jokes.
— David Mitchell
in this society, things you'd think could only be bad jokes actually happen all the time.
— Banana Yoshimoto
I care more about making sure the story is correct and the characters are behaving in character than I do about the individual jokes.
— Michael Schur
If parents snicker at racial and gender jokes, another generation will pass on the poison adults still have not had the courage to snuff out.
— Marian Wright Edelman
Not every single way of saying the right thing is right.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I am not so secretly a comedian. I write a lot of my own material if you've seen videos I've done. I write jokes.
— Laura Benanti
Yeah, Silver and his math are jokes, because math has a liberal bias. After all, math is the reason Mitt Romney's tax plan doesn't add up.
— Stephen Colbert
The man who acts as his own lawyer has a fool for a client.
— Joseph Hansen
Democrats are like a big tortoise that's on its back and can't get up; you can't make jokes about that.
— Lewis Black
A joke is like building a mousetrap from scratch. You have to work pretty hard to make the thing snap when it is supposed to snap.
— Kurt Vonnegut
All day my mind drifts off into fantasies and little stupid jokes.
— Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Peace does not walk up to our doorsteps and press the calling bell! We have to go out there and search for it.
— Avijeet Das
I like to smile a lot before going in the car. I make jokes, even on the grid, and then I can still manage to focus when it counts.
— Romain Grosjean
I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.
— Felipe Esparza
Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Everyone can write jokes and makes things clever.
— David Walton
I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
— James C. Humes
Mahlke couldn't joke. He sometimes tried. But everything he did, touched or said, became solemn, significant, monumental;
— Gunter Grass
Jokes that are gratuitously offensive are synonymous with bad writing to me. I'm offended as a writer first and as a person second.
— Rachel Bloom
I really like being able to laugh at my own jokes.
— Neil Gaiman
Be nice to everyone and tell jokes.
— Gary Busey
The State trained us to make other people's terrible jokes work, which is the other part of the game when you're here.
— Robert Ben Garant
I conjured for him electric skies and iridescent seas and evenings full of laughter and silly jokes.
— Jojo Moyes
Yes, my mom does keep making references to marriage, like all mothers do, but it's only in a lighter mood ... she just jokes.
— Saina Nehwal
I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes.
— Scott Aukerman
The main jokes in this film are about big things, love and life and zombies - we all get that.
— Simon Pegg
I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
— Tahar Ben Jelloun
If they invent a car that runs on stupid jokes, you could go far.
— Haruki Murakami
Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes.
— Demetri Martin
Come. We must go deeper with no justice and no jokes.
— Michael Ondaatje
I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.
— Kathleen Madigan
Mom, how come you never go outside?""I told you, I'm a vampire. — Alison Bechdel
All crises, once averted, become jokes.
— Edan Lepucki
Medicine is a very old joke, but it still goes on.
— Andre Maurois
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
— Mitch Hedberg
My English is closer to the literary English, and I'm not very familiar with jokes in English or with, you know, with small talk in English.
— J.M.G. Le Clezio
I love my jokes.
— Dave Chappelle
A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes.
— Pawan Mishra
Fate does not play jokes.
— Gamal Abdel Nasser
All the great story lines are great practical jokes that people fall for over and over again.
— Kurt Vonnegut
I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
— Woody Allen
She laughed at bad jokes, stayed out too late, and overslept too often. Charity Hill loved holidays and she hated budgets and the alarm clock.
— Elizabeth Jane Howard
One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes.
— Desi Arnaz
I think writers have become hypnotised by the number of jokes on the page at the expense of character.
— Sherwood Schwartz
It feels amazing to just be here and be able to share my jokes with the world. It's not so much about being a girl, it's about being a funny comic.
— Iliza Shlesinger
Never joke at funerals, or during business transactions.
— Herman Melville
Popular men who laugh at your jokes pose a threat which blatant villains can never command.
— Lindsey Davis
I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.
— Jack Benny
Q: What do Jesus and Nicole Brown Simpson have in common? A: They were both killed by the Joooooooose.
— Helen Thomas
I used to wonder why people made New Jersey jokes. I don't anymore.
— E.J. Copperman
In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.
— Frank Dane
Nurse: "You look like a pharmaceutical rep. you can leave samples in the closet."Joe: "I'm actually a lawyer."
Nurse: "My condolences. — Jodi Picoult
I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
— Kathy Griffin
![Jokes Quotes By Eric Andre: [The people that worked on The Simpsons] just](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/jokes-quotes-by-eric-andre-80036.jpg "Jokes Quotes By Eric Andre: [The people that worked on The Simpsons] just")
[The people that worked on The Simpsons] just had good taste. They knew how to execute absurd jokes.
— Eric Andre
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
— Johnny Carson
No jokes, no banter. No pre-mission
— Lee Child
