Jerk Off Quotes: top 76 famous quotes about Jerk Off

Jerk Off Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Jerk Off quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Be respectful to your peers and yourself, of course. Don't be a jerk. But at the same time don't settle for anything less than yourself. — Christina Grimmie

There is some blogging jerk out there who feels he can generalize his way to validity. — Neil Young

Life sucks when you find out Superman's a jerk. — Lisa Turner

I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now. — Doug Stanhope

My liberal friends are such a bunch soft-headed, politically correct jerks ... — Jack Germond

He's not an JERK, he's just a JERK to you! — Renee Wade

People think: 'If this photographer's looking like a big jerk-off, maybe it's okay if I do.' I like to catch my subjects off balance a bit. — Mick Rock

I try not to be a jerk. I really do. I try to be nice and cordial. — Mariah Carey

If those scientists could come up with some way to turn off the jerk circuit in guys' brains, I'd be all in favor of that. — Ted Chiang

Being a jerk is more of a habit or a personality trait of sorts, not an attitude. It's incurable. — Cameron Jace

If you could jerk off to something else, like a hamburger, could you imagine the delight in being alive? — Jonathan Goldstein

That's the thing about slippery slopes. Take that first step, and the next thing you know, you've completed a jerk-off hat trick to your bestie. — Lauren Blakely

You're going to run into jerk-offs, but remember: It's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shit comes out of it. — Justin Halpern

Sorry to disappoint you. He's not evil. He's just a jerk. Sometimes it's a fine line. — Kami Garcia

Good morrow to you, Jessie," Kendrick called. "Jessica," Richard said, giving Kendrick another jerk. "Her name is Jessica! — Lynn Kurland

Dangerous, free time on your hands. You can only jerk off so often. — Larry Kramer

How do you keep people from jerking your chain? Don't give your chain to jerks! — Bill Crawford

You can't go into the office and be a jerk. You can't yell at your kids or your wife or your husband for no reason. That makes you a terrible person. — Chuck Klosterman

I have a big ego, and I'm a confident person, but when it comes down to being a jerk, that doesn't work for me, I tried it ... for about ten years. — Harry Connick Jr.

I hope I'm an integrous person who cleans up their messes when I've been a jerk. — Bonnie Raitt

You are such a jerk! Get back here!"
"Jerk?" he repeated. " You're the one spying in windows. — Becca Fitzpatrick

Better to be a jerk that knees than a knee that jerks. — William Safire

Maybe one of the qualities of being a great coach is being [a jerk]. There are quite a few of them around. — Larry Robinson

Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk. — Terry Pratchett

I'm not sure I'm okay with 2 guys gettin' married, but I don't wanna be a jerk about it. — Lizz Winstead

The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee- pad conservative ... — Edward Abbey

I prescribe a quick jerk off in the shower and a return to sanity. (Dr. Hugo Peralta) — Kate Richards

The danger in reviewing and teaching literature for a living (is) you can develop a kind of knee-jerk superiority to the material you're decoding — Maureen Corrigan

But today? I'm taking the low road because that man, that jerk, deserves it, whoever he is. Fucking asshole ... — Winter Renshaw

The easiest way to disarm a bully or a jerk is to take any insult he throws at you and follow it with, 'I know, and isn't it fabulous?! — Dan Pearce

Hemingway was a jerk. — Harold Robbins

The palm of his hand was a dull red. Not a good sign.
I jerk off left-handed, he thought, at least that's something. — Stephen King

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me. — Andrew Dice Clay

I could be a jerk and get a lot more publicity, but that's not who I am. — Pete Sampras

Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street? — Eugene Mirman

My dad was a great movie companion. He wouldn't diminish 'The Jerk.' If I liked it, he liked it. He could see it through my eyes. — Noah Baumbach

I'm human and I've played my butt off for ten years. I'm not a loafer, I'm not a jerk, I'm a baseball player. — Reggie Jackson

Maybe it was bad, maybe he was a jerk. But looking at her made him want Teresa back. — James Dashner

I jerk off inside books, and give life to words, leaving concepts stuck together you've probably never heard — Immortal Technique

There's nothing more distasteful than an academic having to, like, trot out his credentials. You really come off as a jerk when you do that. — Reza Aslan

Elections are a Western jerk-off. — John Le Carre

They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too? — Rodney Dangerfield

He couldn't even jerk himself off: there was no one to give him permission to come. — Casey K. Cox

I'm going to keep these panties, too. Maybe jerk off with them wrapped around my cock, imagining it's your lips. — Megan Erickson

The British press can be so annoying. They jerk you off with one hand and smack you with the other. — Julian Casablancas

I want to be a jerk like the rest of my friends, and have fun, and not care about the consequences, but I just can't now. — Leonardo DiCaprio

These days he was like a zombie, all grim business, just another jerk with an erection. — Tom Perrotta

We tend to have a knee-jerk negative response to anything that seems to want or have control over us. — Sheena Iyengar

Ideology is masturbation, a jerk-off afforded to those few privileged with time on their hands and no wolves at the door. — Rick Remender

TWENTY I BATTLE MY JERK RELATIVE — Rick Riordan

All broken hearts are circumstantial. Every lovelorn jerk is the victim of bad timing, good intentions, and someone else's poor decision making. — Joshua Ferris

..I resent the jerk part. I'm meaner than that.... — Finn Marlowe

Diplomacy is unfashionable in the world of knee-jerk reaction and the dogmatic sound bite on television. — Douglas Hurd

I pride myself on being a jerk, because I'm brutally honest all the time. — CM Punk

I don't want to be known as a jerk forever. — Seann William Scott

When my stomach grumbled, I filled up on hamburgers, hot dogs, gyros, tacos, jerk chicken, pizza, and a side salad because I was watching my figure — Y.A. Marks

I think there's a knee-jerk reaction to things from parents. — Spike Jonze

You know, I always suspected you were the kind of guy to jerk off to your own reflection, but this is a step too far. — Melanie Marchande

I'm grieving over what a jerk you are... — Maria Semple

Every day when I get home from work, I feel so frustrated, my boss is a jerk. — Todd Rundgren

You jerk off feel great you wanna go working out.Keep jerking off and working out life is good. — Elliott Hulse

Sometimes, when you're not being a jerk, I like you so much it hurts. I like the way your true self comes out when you think no one else is looking. — Kylie Scott

Because when a guy's a jerk or an asshole, it's easier because you know exactly where you stand. — David Levithan

I act like a jerk sometimes. — Bill Murray

I know that makes me sound like a jerk and maybe in some way I was, but girls play games too. Guys are just more likely to admit to it. — Nyrae Dawn

Yeah, I know. I was a jerk. An idiot. You can't say anything to me that I haven't already said to myself. — Jude Deveraux

I'm evil, know it, and enjoy it. — Robert Thier

Girls have periods and boys jerk off. Everybody. — Haruki Murakami

Maybe I am a jerk sometimes. Maybe I'm not. I think most people are kind of a jerk once in a while. — Ryan Adams

It isn't the ups and downs that make life difficult; it's the jerks. — Charlie Chaplin

I know what it's like to meet someone you admire and have them be a complete jerk. — Nicolas Cage

Jack in and jerk off, kid! You too can save the world ... from those evil, bug-eyed commies from space! — Hal Duncan

People always say, "When did you know you were funny?" They don't mean that in a bad way - this already makes me sound like such a jerk. — Rob Huebel

The trick is simply to avoid jerks. There are lots of them out there. Most people are unhappy. — Frederick Lenz

Sometimes it is very useful to have a reputation for being a reclusive, amoral jerk. — Brandon Sanderson

His paternal tone irked me no end, and that helped to steel my resolve. I couldn't sell out the the Sixers. — Ernest Cline