Jeff Dunham Quotes
Collection of top 37 famous quotes about Jeff Dunham
Jeff Dunham Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Jeff Dunham quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I'm a Macintosh nut. I got my PowerBook, so if I'm not writing jokes, I'm working on that.
— Jeff Dunham
A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.
— Jeff Dunham
My goal in any show is to make people laugh. That's the No. 1 thing. Everything else pales in comparison to that.
— Jeff Dunham
A lot of my best stuff is just ad libs on stage, and that's one thing that I've gotten back to at the live show.
— Jeff Dunham
I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'
— Jeff Dunham
Peanut: Come here puppet boy... make your daddy talk!
— Jeff Dunham
I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer.
— Jeff Dunham
Family time was very difficult when my girls were little, but I never missed a birthday; I was there for every major event.
— Jeff Dunham
Shut up or i'll kill you by Achmed the dead tarries.
— Jeff Dunham
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
— Jeff Dunham
I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.
— Jeff Dunham
When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.
— Jeff Dunham
I always try and do everything I can to the best of my abilities, single aspect has to be perfect.
— Jeff Dunham
Silence! I kill you!
— Jeff Dunham
Most people when they have autobiographies, they're not autobiographies, they're biographies written by a ghost writer.
— Jeff Dunham
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Knock, knock.Jeff Dunham: Who's there?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you! — Jeff Dunham
There are not that many ventriloquists out there who build their own characters. I love that because they are uniquely mine.
— Jeff Dunham
Achmed: Two Jews walk into a bar... Jeff: No no no no no
Achmed: You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard. — Jeff Dunham
There's nothing better for a comedian than adversity.
— Jeff Dunham
That afternoon I ordered an information packet.
— Jeff Dunham
Math? Forget about it. If I add four plus eight plus six, I have to count on my fingers. I guess I'm hooked up differently.
— Jeff Dunham
You're the other white meat!
— Jeff Dunham
I'm a geek to the bone.
— Jeff Dunham
