It's A Joke Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about It's A Joke

It's A Joke Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational It's A Joke quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year. — Mitch Hedberg

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else ... — Demetri Martin

What do we care, if the world is a joke? We'll give it a big kiss, we'll give it a poke. Death wears a big hat cause he's a big bloke. — Elvis Costello

It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold! — Kevin Nealon

Spring me from this role I play of the smothered son in the Jewish joke! Because it's beginning to pall a little at thirty-three! — Philip Roth

It's all a mere mistake and a worry and a joke - and we'll go home as fast as we can! — Henry James

Everyone is quiet. Which is the wooooooorst. It's scary when a group of people all know instinctively not to joke around. — Tina Fey

Always warm up the audience with a joke ... If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke ... — Jacob M. Appel

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. — Carol Burnett

It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat. — Emo Philips

Instead of being a well-known painter, I became everybody's favorite dirty joke. Come to think of it, teaching masturbation skills is pretty weird. — Betty Dodson

What if it's just a big, cosmic joke?
Then ... laugh!
.85. — Dee Lestari

It's an ongoing joke that a black man is always the first one to get killed in movies. — J. B. Smoove

It's a Thing thing. You wouldn't understand. — Rick Riordan

Here's a professional tip: If you have to say you're kidding, it might not be a great joke. — Ellen DeGeneres

I have been sober for the longest time. Oh, it's over a decade now. No joke. — Dana Plato

The whole westward expansion myth is seen as romantic. But it's a joke, a blot on American history. — Frank Waters

It was a family joke that Lydia's domestic tendencies were somehow misplaced when she was created. — Lawana Blackwell

We need to get rid of the Federal Elections Commission. It's a joke. It doesn't enforce the law. — Russ Feingold

Oh, I love critics. Because they love me. It's not a joke. They care. — Prince

First of all, Saddam did not win the war, even though he says he did, I mean, you know, that's a joke and everybody in the world knows it. — Norman Schwarzkopf

What I don't like today is, to put it coarsely, the phony Hasidism, the phony mysticism. Many students say, "Teach me mysticism." It's a joke. — Elie Wiesel

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. — Spike Milligan

I am a fan of whatever makes me laugh my ass off. If it happens to be a Jew joke, then it's a Jew joke. — Alex Borstein

Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke. — David Rees

Kissing's a lot like laughing. If the joke's funny, it doesn't matter how long it's been since you last heard one. — Maggie Stiefvater

The saddest task for the ironist is having to tell the listener that it's a joke, because of course it is never a joke. — Paul Theroux

Playing quarterback ... it's no joke ... The difference here with Johnny Manziel, there's a lot of style and very little substance. — Boomer Esiason

I stumbled on a joke idea and style that worked, the audience went with it and, from that moment on, I was hooked. It's an amazing feeling. — Marcus Brigstocke

There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it; that's my job. — Anthony Jeselnik

Don't make a film if it can't be the film you want to make. It's a joke, and a sick joke, and it'll kill you. — David Lynch

Sometimes, at parties, people demand I tell a joke. It's like pointing a gun at my feet and telling me to dance. — Celia Rivenbark

There used to be an old bad joke. I hope it's not so much a good joke anymore. 'Everybody's from Scranton; no one's in Scranton.' — Joe Biden

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke. — Will Rogers

Being raised Catholic myself, I think people who are Catholic tend to carry a lot of guilt. It's almost a joke. — Linda Cardellini

Paris and Nicky Hilton? Those girls will show up to the opening of a phone book. It's like a big joke. — Rachel Perry

To single out a particular group and say we can't make a joke about them is almost a form of prejudice and it's kind of patronizing. — Sacha Baron Cohen

Only the day before, Cockie's dark joke wouldn't have included me, but now it did. "Is love always such a mess, do you suppose? — Paula McLain

For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something's catching on in our culture, a lot of it is luck, and you hope the joke is funny. — Jim Gaffigan

How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, it's a hardware problem. — Laura Griffin

Rachel snatched her hand back. Sorry, I forgot the rules. Everything's a joke until it's not, and words don't mean anything until you want them to. — Kit Rocha

I just heard the latest joke about my hair: 'Do you know what that is on her head? It's a steering wheel to drive the state.' — Yulia Tymoshenko

A joke's a joke; you can either take it, or you can't. — Brian Dunkleman

I make cameos in all my movies for no particular reason other than a joke. It's just a Hitchcock thing. — Peter Jackson

A joke is never a joke if it is at the expense of another person's feelings — Heather Wolf

Even if the painting is green, well then! The 'subject' is the green. There is always a subject; it's a joke to suppress the subject, it's impossible. — Pablo Picasso

And I admit it: there's a rather dirty thrill when 700 people laugh at a joke you've written. — Laura Wade

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before. — Doug Larson

There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke. — Michael Scott

Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy. — J.K. Rowling

But men and women, getting along, it's a joke. We have completely different brains, it's a completely different thing. — Christina Applegate

I've been writing joke songs since I was a kid and it served me well at S.N.L. I can write those in my sleep. In fact, I have. — Maya Rudolph

I enjoy the way I look, but it's a joke. — Dolly Parton

It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water. — Douglas Adams

Neither of them had kissed someone else in a while, but it didn't much matter. Kissing's a lot like laughing. If the joke's funny, it doesn't matter — Maggie Stiefvater

Essentially a joke is creating an idea, whether sonic or visual, whether it's something musical or a traditional joke. — Reggie Watts

Anyone else find it funny that Bernie Madoff's last name is a homophone of 'made-off'? — David C. Holley

I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling. — Rita Rudner

John-Paul?" TWO If this is a joke," said Tess, "it's not funny. — Liane Moriarty

MarkBaynard: I figured out in the first grade that it was better to crack a joke than somebody's skull. — Teresa Medeiros

Hey, that's life, flick it off if you can't take a joke. — Neil Gaiman

It's a lot easier, I think, to be an actor in a movie than to spin a joke on a sitcom. — Nicole Sullivan

You've no idea how good an old joke sounds when you take it out again after a rest of five or six hundred years. — C.S. Lewis

No, that part's not true! That's a joke-lie. I'm not going to lie to you in this story because I want you to know that the rest of it is true. — Tina Fey

I think it's important to have a good sense of humor and joke around with your kids. That's what I do a lot. — Stanley Tucci

It's almost a joke how good I am at charades. Not to pat my own back, but I'm literally - I'm kind of unstoppable. — Wilson Bethel

It's hard talking about acting, in a way, because it's like explaining a joke: I do think it loses something in the telling. — Martin Freeman

The art world is the biggest joke going. It's a rest home for the overprivileged, the pretentious, and the weak. — Banksy

I didn't just want to be Frank's daughter who sang Boots. I take my music very seriously and studied very hard. It's not a joke to me. — Nancy Sinatra

Being broke is a joke, I never found it funny / That's why I count my blessings / As much as I count my money ... — Fabolous

It used to bother me when people called me a pussy. But the joke's on them - after all, you are what you eat! — Jon Schmidt

I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist. That's not a full joke there! It's filler. — Mitch Hedberg

Guys will definitely settle for women who get the joke. But a woman who can make you laugh? It's not high on a guy's must list. Perhaps it should be. — Hank Azaria

It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me. — Lea DeLaria

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke. — Hugh Elliot

Running for me is a sport. It's not a joke. It's serious. — J. R. Martinez

I think that all filth is local ... and that a joke isn't a joke unless it's at somebody's expense — Christopher Hitchens

[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness. — Gwyneth Paltrow

The public is gullible ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth. — Bill Maher

Nothing's a joke with me. It just all comes out like one. — Lorrie Moore

I don't mind being the brunt of a joke, so long as it's a good one. — Joey McIntyre

Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one? — George Bernard Shaw

I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing. — Wanda Sykes

Humor is based on surprise, and surprise is a milder way of saying shock. It's surprise that makes the joke. — George Carlin

Directing a movie is serious, it's not a joke. — Fred Durst

Being an author sucks, doesn't it? It's like telling a joke and nobody laughs for two years. — Scott Westerfeld

I have "come back" [to music scene] so many times, people are just like, Is this another one? ... It's kind of like a joke to me now. — Britney Spears

Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes. — Dave Attell

It was that famous joke: What's the last thing the drummer said before he got kicked out of the band? 'Hey, I wrote a song.' — Dave Grohl

The joke was that Ceres didn't have laws - it had police. — James S.A. Corey

Why are you making a joke out of this?" she asks.
"Because it's stupid, Nik. There's not even room in my day to think about someone else. — Simone Elkeles

[Writing a joke] there is no team of writers. It's just you in an office, staring at yourself in the mirror. — Jimmy Fallon

British politics, as the world knows, is a joke. Yet it's rarely funny. — Morrissey

I'm not the comedy police, but you watch a movie, and everyone's laughing, and then you shake it out, and you realize, 'There's no joke there!' — Maria Semple

I think it's natural if you're doing a lot of comedy to do a lot of drama, because you have to figure out the real version of the joke. — Judy Greer

It's a basic rule of humor that a joke is always at somebody's expense. Really good jokes, however, tend to be at everyone's expense. — Richard Kalvar

Watching movies in the U.S. is great fun because they get every joke, they smile, they laugh so much; it's a great feeling. — Jet Li

I come from a town of great musicians: Washington, D.C. It's no joke, that history. — Henry Rollins

I have never been able to see life as anything but a vast complicated practical joke, and it's better to laugh than cry. — Robert A. Heinlein

Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel. — Bill Burr