It Job Funny Quotes
Collection of top 56 famous quotes about It Job Funny
It Job Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational It Job Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job.
— George H. W. Bush
Do not complain about two things; your job and your position, because you can always change them.
— M.F. Moonzajer
There's not a single job in this town. There's nothin', nada, zip. Unless you wanna workforty hours a week.
— Jeff Daniels
Dayum! You know Charley's pissed when the f-bomb is flying out her mouth like it's her job to drop them.
— Jacquelyn Ayres
Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.
— Scott Adams
Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
— Bill Bailey
I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
— Steven Wright
It's an expensive place. The cheapest salad is twenty-five dollars.""I hope that comes with extra croutons and a hand job. — Andrea Speed
Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.
— Richard Belzer
I'd basically have trouble with any job that doesn't require me to wear silly clothes and talk in funny voices.
— Natalie Portman
That's the easiest job you can have in TV comedy, being the guy who just delivers the funny.
— Josh McDermitt
It's a funny thing in my job: you remain perpetually lonely in a world where loneliness is the rarest commodity.
— Brian W. Aldiss
Cooking without wine is like sex alone. You may get the job done, but you don't really care once it's over.
— Andrew Grey
I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.
— Doug Stanhope
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
— Bill Hicks
This is funny because I just had a job over the summer for VH1, a project I did called Strange Frequency where I got to play a Goth rock band singer.
— Charisma Carpenter
My job is summer camp. I come and talk and try to make a TV show funny.
— Danny Masterson
Boxing's all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds.
— Frank Bruno
A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your interview wearing flip flops.
— Alan Davies
Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
— Greg Behrendt
A woman is a woman. A woman has male problems, has job problems, and I think funny is funny.
— Kym Whitley
The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, I don't need a pardon. I need a job.'
— Conan O'Brien
My job changes very little because I've found that the more you try to be funny, the less funny you become.
— Nathan Fillion
When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy.
— James Goldsmith
I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er".
— Mitch Hedberg
He'd make her work so hard that a job as a cardboard-box presser at the margerine factory would seem like paradise.
— Jussi Adler-Olsen
My job is to bring the tickle. I know what's funny.
— Leslie Jones
A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've probably made a serious vocational error.
— Dennis Miller
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
— Rodney Dangerfield
I don't like people whose job it isn't to be funny, to tell me what is and isn't funny.
— Sarah Silverman
I decided I would rather have a day job and love music than to play music that made me hate it.
— David Torn
I find what I do for a living really funny. I mean, acting is kind of a hilarious thing for a grown man to call a job.
— Christian Bale
I'm good at blowjob.
— Lauren Baker
My job is mostly to entertain and be funny.
— Rosie O'Donnell
You know, there are just some things you never expect to face even on this job. A flying primate that shoots fire out its nose is one of them.
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
Torn clothes are funny ... until your dad gets fired.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The only person who worries about my mother is God, and that's only because she wants His job.
— Sue Civil-Brown
I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.
— Elayne Boosler
I'm alive," he groaned. "But I'm not doing a very good job of it.
— Merrie Haskell
We often hear that mathematics consists mainly of 'proving theorems.' Is a writer's job mainly that of 'writing sentences?
— Gian-Carlo Rota
It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.
— Dan Castellaneta
