I'm Not Funny Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about I'm Not Funny
I'm Not Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational I'm Not Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!
— Mitch Hedberg
I look crazy, but I'm not. And the funny thing is, that other people don't look crazy, but they are.
— Eden Ahbez
I can't really say I'm batting badly. I'm not batting long enough to be batting badly
— Greg Chappell
I'm sure the other kids wouldn't mind not being lectured by another toddler over the virtues of sharing and the mental benefits of toy blocks.
— Hayden Thorne
I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake.
— Gabriel Iglesias
- and you'll remember, when they ask you your religion, that you're a Cath'lic. Better say Roman Cath'lic, tho' I'm not fond of the word.
— Rudyard Kipling
You're not celibate, then?" I breathe. Amusement lights up his eyes.
"No, Anastasia, I'm not celibate. — E.L. James
I'm tall and thin but not strong, so you're either an athlete or you're funny.
— Keegan-Michael Key
Um, I'm just naturally super-funny. No, not really. I've never been in The Groundlings or anything.
— Ryan Hansen
I'm not a facebook status you don't have to like me.
— Wiz Khalifa
If I let you go are you going to hit me again?""What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry
I've never gotten to do romantic comedy like most of the girls. Maybe because I'm fit, people assume that I'm not funny?
— Jessica Biel
First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
— Chelsea Handler
I want to do drama - no one really sees that. People just think I'm the funny guy and I can't do anything else, and that's just not true.
— Mark Indelicato
I'm funny at home too, but not deliberately. My wife is usually laughing at me rather than with me.
— Daniel Dae Kim
I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money.
— Will Rogers
I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
— Bill Bailey
I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.
— Carol Burnett
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
— Hillary Rodham Clinton
No," Shane said. "I'm not leaving you two here alone. We stick together.""I'm still not kissing you," Michael said.
"Tease. — Rachel Caine
By the way, I'm funniest when I'm not being funny. I'm better to laugh at than with, pretty much.
— Jemima Kirke
If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny.
— Tracy Morgan
When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'
— Susan Sarandon
Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife.
— Mark Watson
I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder.
— Dylan Moran
I'm a big fan of comedians not having to apologize for anything. Nowadays it seems comedians are always apologizing for being funny.
— Kevin Dillon
I'm not saying he was, like, crying tears of man pain over the phone, but he sounded upset.
— Hannah Harrington
Are you okay?" I (Cassie) call up to him."Um. Define okay." (Ben)
"Okay means you're not bleeding to death."
"I'm okay. — Rick Yancey
I'm just not very funny.
— Ira Glass
I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.
— Jeremy Clarkson
I'm tired, I'm hungry and I have a head in a bag," I warned him. "Do not fuck with me.
— Karen Chance
It's not that I can't express myself,it's that I still feel present when I'm not expressing myself. — Kim Myungsoo
I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes.
— Scott Aukerman
Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy.
— Seth Meyers
I'm not ashamed of being a bubbly, funny person. I think that's as valid as being the dark, brooding, tortured Oscar-nominated one.
— Cameron Diaz
I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.
— Franklin D. Roosevelt
Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
— Adam Carolla
Usually, if I think something is really funny, I'm not gonna test it. I'll just test it when I'm onstage.
— Donald Glover
I'm not a person who can spontaneously say funny things.
— Ashley Williams
I don't like happy stuff. I'm not funny.
— Sondra Radvanovsky
I make some jokes about it, but they're not funny and just add to the depression.
— Robert M. Pirsig
This is not at all funny.""Which is why I'm not laughing. — Dani Alexander
Thats not a place where I'm considered good-looking.
— Mark Hoppus
Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.
— Dylan Moran
I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it.
— Patti LaBelle
Actually I never did stand up. I'm not that funny.
— Maynard James Keenan
You aren't a morning person, are you?" he mused."No, I'm not. There is a reason mornin' and mournin' sound the same. — L.A. Casey
I can eat you at breakfast, not because I am a monster; it is only because you are too cute and yummy.
— M.F. Moonzajer
Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny.
— Ilona Andrews
I'm not the one going for a biology degree. I'm just a philosophy major who eats people.
— Scott Westerfeld
I'm alive," he groaned. "But I'm not doing a very good job of it.
— Merrie Haskell
Climate change is like my head: it's not visible in every instance, but I'm pretty darn sure it's there.
— Kevin Focke
I'm not someone who shies away from darkness being funny.
— Brett Gelman
If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.
— Jim Carrey
I'm here to shine a bright light. I'm not here to be a guy of death. I just like 'KD' better.
— Kevin Durant
A lot of the things I say I'm just trying to be funny ... I don't really mean everything I say, because I'm not totally that airhead.
— Paris Hilton
I'm usually not the straight guy. I'm sometimes more the funny guy, depending on the situation.
— John Kapelos
I'm just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it.
— Heath Ledger
I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.
— Bernie Mac
I'm not a human anymore
— Darren Shan
It's funny how we like labels. If I ever have a bookstore, I'm not going to put any labels on the sections.
— Audrey Niffenegger
I'm not posh! I'm just southern
— Jonathan Harvey
Brookfield High School. How may I direct your call? No, sir, this is not a waste- disposal unit, I'm afraid you have the wrong number.
— Jaclyn Moriarty
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding? ... Noooo ... as funny as that is, I'm not
— Ellen DeGeneres
The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband.
— Francesca Annis
I'm not really very funny, I just keep recycling jokes.
— Reese Roper
I'm so unprofessional on set it's not even funny.
— Katharine McPhee
I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer.
— Kelly Ripa
The funny thing is, I'm not really a big reader, not a big fan of books in the first place.
— Macaulay Culkin
So does that mean if you won't fuck me because I'm high, I could fuck you because you're not?
— K.A. Mitchell
They call me the confuser. Is he a man ... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
— Noel Fielding
I appreciate humor so much, but I'm actually not a funny girl.
— Emmanuelle Chriqui
