I'm Not Funny Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about I'm Not Funny

I'm Not Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational I'm Not Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot! — Mitch Hedberg

I look crazy, but I'm not. And the funny thing is, that other people don't look crazy, but they are. — Eden Ahbez

I can't really say I'm batting badly. I'm not batting long enough to be batting badly — Greg Chappell

I'm sure the other kids wouldn't mind not being lectured by another toddler over the virtues of sharing and the mental benefits of toy blocks. — Hayden Thorne

When I'm with other people who inspire my silliness or sense of humor, I'm funny. When I sit down to write, it's hard not to be funny. — James Howe

I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake. — Gabriel Iglesias

I'm not interested in being one of those comedians who wants to look good and be this 'cool' funny person. I don't care how weird or ugly I look. — Chris Lilley

I'm not a quick wit. I'm only funny on paper. I mean, I'm not totally humorless! It's just that in person, I'm not quite the way I am on paper. — Mary Roach

- and you'll remember, when they ask you your religion, that you're a Cath'lic. Better say Roman Cath'lic, tho' I'm not fond of the word. — Rudyard Kipling

You're not celibate, then?" I breathe.
Amusement lights up his eyes.
"No, Anastasia, I'm not celibate. — E.L. James

I'm tall and thin but not strong, so you're either an athlete or you're funny. — Keegan-Michael Key

Um, I'm just naturally super-funny. No, not really. I've never been in The Groundlings or anything. — Ryan Hansen

I'm not a facebook status you don't have to like me. — Wiz Khalifa

If I let you go are you going to hit me again?"
"What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry

I've never gotten to do romantic comedy like most of the girls. Maybe because I'm fit, people assume that I'm not funny? — Jessica Biel

First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole. — Chelsea Handler

I want to do drama - no one really sees that. People just think I'm the funny guy and I can't do anything else, and that's just not true. — Mark Indelicato

I'm funny at home too, but not deliberately. My wife is usually laughing at me rather than with me. — Daniel Dae Kim

I'm totally comfortable not being as funny as Larry David. — Jeff Garlin

It's funny when people say you have sex appeal or call you the next Brad Pitt. I just laugh. I'm not that. I don't want to be that. — Kellan Lutz

I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.' — Steven Wright

I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money. — Will Rogers

I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they. — Bill Bailey

I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh. — Carol Burnett

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president. — Hillary Rodham Clinton

No," Shane said. "I'm not leaving you two here alone. We stick together."
"I'm still not kissing you," Michael said.
"Tease. — Rachel Caine

By the way, I'm funniest when I'm not being funny. I'm better to laugh at than with, pretty much. — Jemima Kirke

If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny. — Tracy Morgan

I am funny, but I'm not about funny ...
I'm about peace & justice. — Patch Adams

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.' — Susan Sarandon

Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife. — Mark Watson

I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder. — Dylan Moran

I'm a big fan of comedians not having to apologize for anything. Nowadays it seems comedians are always apologizing for being funny. — Kevin Dillon

I'm not saying he was, like, crying tears of man pain over the phone, but he sounded upset. — Hannah Harrington

Are you okay?" I (Cassie) call up to him.
"Um. Define okay." (Ben)
"Okay means you're not bleeding to death."
"I'm okay. — Rick Yancey

I'm just not very funny. — Ira Glass

I think maybe to survive, I mean to just get through the day - I'm not saying that everything is hilariously funny. — Roz Chast

I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not. — Jeremy Clarkson

I'm tired, I'm hungry and I have a head in a bag," I warned him. "Do not fuck with me. — Karen Chance

When I write, I'm not trying to be funny. It's the way I look at the world. — Billy Collins

It's not that I can't express myself,
it's that I still feel present when I'm not expressing myself. — Kim Myungsoo

I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes. — Scott Aukerman

Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy. — Seth Meyers

I'm not ashamed of being a bubbly, funny person. I think that's as valid as being the dark, brooding, tortured Oscar-nominated one. — Cameron Diaz

I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues. — Franklin D. Roosevelt

He said "cool" like I say a Spanish word when I'm not sure of the pronunciation. — Kelley Armstrong

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average. — Adam Carolla

Usually, if I think something is really funny, I'm not gonna test it. I'll just test it when I'm onstage. — Donald Glover

Some people won't have kids, but I'm not going to have parents. I'm burning their birth certificates and defacing their gravestones tonight. — Bauvard

I'm not a person who can spontaneously say funny things. — Ashley Williams

I don't like happy stuff. I'm not funny. — Sondra Radvanovsky

I make some jokes about it, but they're not funny and just add to the depression. — Robert M. Pirsig

It sounds funny, but my biggest fear is that I'm not perfect. I'm a perfectionist, and I get upset when things go wrong or when I don't do well. — Nick Jonas

You can't tel me I'm not breaking up with you when I'm breaking up with you! — Kristen Ashley

This is not at all funny."
"Which is why I'm not laughing. — Dani Alexander

You want everyone to be great and funny. I'm not saying I'm great, but I'm funny. — Jon Lovitz

Thats not a place where I'm considered good-looking. — Mark Hoppus

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake. — Dylan Moran

I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it. — Patti LaBelle

Actually I never did stand up. I'm not that funny. — Maynard James Keenan

You aren't a morning person, are you?" he mused.
"No, I'm not. There is a reason mornin' and mournin' sound the same. — L.A. Casey

I can eat you at breakfast, not because I am a monster; it is only because you are too cute and yummy. — M.F. Moonzajer

Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny. — Ilona Andrews

Not that smart. Not that hot. Not that nice. Not that funny. That's me: I'm not that. — Anonymous

I'm not against people just being funny or telling stories. I don't need to delve into the soft, dark core all the time. If it happens, it happens. — Marc Maron

I'm not the one going for a biology degree. I'm just a philosophy major who eats people. — Scott Westerfeld

I'm alive," he groaned. "But I'm not doing a very good job of it. — Merrie Haskell

Climate change is like my head: it's not visible in every instance, but I'm pretty darn sure it's there. — Kevin Focke

I'm so into you, it's not even funny. (Naomi & Ely's No Kiss List) — Rachel Cohn

I'm not someone who shies away from darkness being funny. — Brett Gelman

Are you sure you can't dematerialize? Not even a little?"
"I'm sure. — Lauren Oliver

If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer. — Jim Carrey

I'm here to shine a bright light. I'm not here to be a guy of death. I just like 'KD' better. — Kevin Durant

A lot of the things I say I'm just trying to be funny ... I don't really mean everything I say, because I'm not totally that airhead. — Paris Hilton

I'm usually not the straight guy. I'm sometimes more the funny guy, depending on the situation. — John Kapelos

I'm just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it. — Heath Ledger

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again. — Bill Burr

I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown. — Bernie Mac

I'm not a human anymore — Darren Shan

It's funny how we like labels. If I ever have a bookstore, I'm not going to put any labels on the sections. — Audrey Niffenegger

I'm not posh! I'm just southern — Jonathan Harvey

Peyton, I'm not married and you're not a lesbian. Think of the possibilities. — Robyn Carr

Brookfield High School. How may I direct your call? No, sir, this is not a waste- disposal unit, I'm afraid you have the wrong number. — Jaclyn Moriarty

I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them. — Daniel Tosh

My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding? ... Noooo ... as funny as that is, I'm not — Ellen DeGeneres

I'd like to say I'm not dressed up for anyone in particular, but that would be a lie. — Lisa Daily

I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they're not funny. I end up saying, 'Oh, no, I'm joking, I'm joking.' — Anna Torv

The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband. — Francesca Annis

I'm not really very funny, I just keep recycling jokes. — Reese Roper

Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I'm not going to single him out. — Alex Ferguson

I'm not funny. Never have been and, as far as I can tell, I never will be. — David Dobkin

I'm so unprofessional on set it's not even funny. — Katharine McPhee

I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer. — Kelly Ripa

The funny thing is, I'm not really a big reader, not a big fan of books in the first place. — Macaulay Culkin

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it. — Dylan Moran

So does that mean if you won't fuck me because I'm high, I could fuck you because you're not? — K.A. Mitchell

They call me the confuser. Is he a man ... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind. — Noel Fielding

I'm too busy thinking what I'm going to say next to remember what I've said, but my staff tells me I'm sometimes funny. Not always on purpose, though. — Jared Polis

I appreciate humor so much, but I'm actually not a funny girl. — Emmanuelle Chriqui

I'm not a believer in the pratfall. I don't think it's funny just to have someone fall down. — Harold Ramis