If Only Funny Quotes
Collection of top 35 famous quotes about If Only Funny
If Only Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational If Only Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Who says you only get one? If you're lucky, you will meet The One, The Two, The Three ... and so on.Nesta — Cathy Hopkins
Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.
— Sarah Silverman
The only person I compete with is Satan. If that happens to be you, then could you please move out of the way? You're standing in Christ's spot.
— Shannon L. Alder
Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it.
— Alice Walker
They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
— George Carlin
If heaven was created only for the most stupid clown, then Mr Bean could have been the only righteous man on earth.
— Michael Bassey Johnson
Don't plead with anyone if you were not at fault, you'll only look inferior, stupid and funny, bolster your ego by doing the undoing.
— Michael Bassey Johnson
I guess the only thing to do now is meet his parents. I'm sure they're decent people. I mean they gotta be if they named their son Gaylord Focker.
— Robert De Niro
If only there was mouthwash for the brain. Brain wash. They could make a fortune on that stuff.
— Theresa Paolo
It's funny: half my films were flops, half did well. It would be terrible if I'd had only success.
— Claude Lelouch
Let me be clear: I don't want to make love to a mannequin - I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
If you think it's funny to make fun of the "used car salesman," you better only buy new and never sell your car. Just sayin.
— Richie Norton
My sisters call him Slinky Simon.'Alec chuckled.
'It's only funny if he's not your cousin.'
'It's funny because it's true. — Julia Quinn
I'm not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.
— Rowan Atkinson
![If Only Funny Quotes By Rachel Hawkins: I [dad] spent hours on the phone. Do](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/if-only-funny-quotes-by-rachel-hawkins-682974.jpg "If Only Funny Quotes By Rachel Hawkins: I [dad] spent hours on the phone. Do")
I [dad] spent hours on the phone. Do you know with whom?' 'One of those psychic hotlines?' Dad gritted his teeth. 'If only ... — Rachel Hawkins
Ricewind had always relied on running away. But somerimes, perhaps, you had to stand and fight, if only because there was nowhere left to run.
— Terry Pratchett
I doubt she'll welcome you if I tell her you undressed me.""Maybe she'll only partially welcome me."
Smart-ass. — Kresley Cole
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, How to Build a Boat.
— Stephen Wright
It's funny how a flame can only burn your hand if you move too slow, you can tease it all you want and it never gets you, if your quick enough.
— Neal Shusterman
Secret 3963. It's only a sucking chest wound if you're not the shooter.
— The Covert Comic
Relaxed Empiricism I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened. — Bill Bailey
She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much!
— Ljupka Cvetanova
You keep the title of 'president' even if you served only one term. The same goes for rapists.
— Christy Leigh Stewart
